Is my dad mentally ill, dealing with a mid-life crisis or just a sociopath?!

I don't know if this is the right sub, if it isn't, direct me where I should go. I just needed to get this out. Maybe one of you fine internet strangers have been through something like this and have tips for me and my family.

I apologize for typos or mistakes of any sort. I'm pretty worked up.

There's definitely more details to this issue but will try to give the most concise version of events.

Backstory:

My dad (57) used to be a good person, kind heart, loved Jesus, was empathic, just all around good guy. He has done a complete 180 in regards to his behaviour. My first big red flag was really weird stuff being posted to his social media. Especially his IG, the pics were just so strange and gave me a bad feeling.

He came to visit me (36f) this past November with my step mom. (I live in a different province.) He was just plain weird. Loud. Seemed unaware of personal space. We were swimming with my daughter at the pool and he wanted to talk to me in the hot tub. He was always right in my personal bubble, not matter how much I asked him to move. He talked about 1000 things at once, I got to the point where I was so overwhelmed, I was crying and had to say back off. It was fucking weird. Like talking to someone on an acid trip.

His main points of conversation were:

*God was talking directly to him

*My step mom was full of fear and incapable of feeling joy.

*Lots of talk about trees and roots, which I believe represented family

*Admitting he was smoking weed (so weird, he was so against all drugs and would lecture me about my own weed habit)

*God chose him to being weed to the church

He acted weird the entire visit. The day before he left he gave me a bottle of wine and a weird speech about the tree on the bottle and the roots. He cried. I couldn't understand wtf he was trying to say. I don't drink so it was the weirdest gift ever.

For Christmas my brother's and I all got this framed picture of a tree and it creeped us out.

Fast forward to December 31st.

I get a call from my step mom that she asked my dad to leave. She was scared. He came home agressive and mean. He had spent thousands of dollars on random "presents" given to strangers. Bought hundreds of dollars in booze to give away. Very manic behaviour. When she questioned him, he got "crazy". He was asked to leave the house and went to a bar. The bartender knew my uncle and called him to let him know that his brother was being weird. The cops were called. They couldn't make him go to the hospital, but were able to get him to leave the bar. He walked to the beach and left his phone there. He just got a brand new phone was is a tech nut , so it was so bizarre.

I talked to him Jan 1st. He was saying he wanted a divorce. He hadn't been happy for 20 years. I called him our on his behaviour from the night before and told him he needed some help. He admitted it was weird and couldn't understand why he acted the way he did. I was able to get him to agree to talk to my step mom.

My step mom was able to get him to the doctor. The doctor then got him into see a psychiatrist shortly after. His doctor suspected he was suffering with pot induced psychosis, wanted to prescribe him an antipsychotic. The psychiatrist ordered a CT scan and asked him to stop using the pot. My step mom did the same.

He didn't. He continued using. Refused to fill the prescription from his doctor. He continued to post wacked shit. All of us were worried and asked him to get help. He'd make excuses that the pot helped him think clearer and shit like that.

He claimed to have gone to the CT, and was healthy.

He called me Easter morning saying he wanted a divorce. He left my step mom days later. He told my step mom he wanted a divorce via email. She is shattered. They have been together for 30 years. That was the last time he talked to me.

My brother's and I have tried since April to reach our to him. Asking him to get help. Asking him for a reason why. He's ghosted us and all of his friends/family. He's talking to no one. Maybe he feels some guilt deep down or maybe he's just an asshole?

Fast forward again.

He seems like a completely different person now. He's cold and cruel to my step mom. Blaming her for absolutely everything. Wanting to leave her with nothing.

Posting new age spiritual things he used to openly mock.

He had been seeing someone since possibly last year.

They got a motorhome and are travelling across the country.

He took a second mortgage on his marital home, using up most of the equity. Leaving my step mom potentially homeless and left to deal with the house.

Today I found my Dad and his gfs ahared profile. I'm sick and absolutely disgusted. I shared it with my step aunt's and brothers and can't bring myself to show my step mom. I'm absolutely shattered. It took all there was in me not to comment mean things on their stuff.

• Has anyone deal with this kind of coldness and abandonment?

• Is my dad sick or just a sociopath?! Is this a midlife crisis gone bad?

I will definitely be in touch with a councillor to help me deal with this. I'm just heartbroken and had to get this out. I just can't make heads or tails out of this. My heart hurts for my family.

If you made it to the end, thank you for reading this.

Dad if you're on Reddit still, FUCK YOU for hurting my family. Time to take responsibility. Quit being a coward.

TL;DR My dad has done a 180 in regards to his behaviour. Divorcing my step mom of 30 years. Ghosted his children and his long life friends. Can't tell if it's because he's had a midlife crisis, mental illness or if he is just a sociopath.

Submitted July 27, 2019 at 11:43PM

I don't know if this is the right sub, if it isn't, direct me where I should go. I just needed to get this out. Maybe one of you fine internet strangers have been through something like this and have tips for me and my family.I apologize for typos or mistakes of any sort. I'm pretty worked up.There's definitely more details to this issue but will try to give the most concise version of events.Backstory:My dad (57) used to be a good person, kind heart, loved Jesus, was empathic, just all around good guy. He has done a complete 180 in regards to his behaviour. My first big red flag was really weird stuff being posted to his social media. Especially his IG, the pics were just so strange and gave me a bad feeling.He came to visit me (36f) this past November with my step mom. (I live in a different province.) He was just plain weird. Loud. Seemed unaware of personal space. We were swimming with my daughter at the pool and he wanted to talk to me in the hot tub. He was always right in my personal bubble, not matter how much I asked him to move. He talked about 1000 things at once, I got to the point where I was so overwhelmed, I was crying and had to say back off. It was fucking weird. Like talking to someone on an acid trip.His main points of conversation were:*God was talking directly to him*My step mom was full of fear and incapable of feeling joy.*Lots of talk about trees and roots, which I believe represented family*Admitting he was smoking weed (so weird, he was so against all drugs and would lecture me about my own weed habit)*God chose him to being weed to the churchHe acted weird the entire visit. The day before he left he gave me a bottle of wine and a weird speech about the tree on the bottle and the roots. He cried. I couldn't understand wtf he was trying to say. I don't drink so it was the weirdest gift ever.For Christmas my brother's and I all got this framed picture of a tree and it creeped us out.Fast forward to December 31st.I get a call from my step mom that she asked my dad to leave. She was scared. He came home agressive and mean. He had spent thousands of dollars on random "presents" given to strangers. Bought hundreds of dollars in booze to give away. Very manic behaviour. When she questioned him, he got "crazy". He was asked to leave the house and went to a bar. The bartender knew my uncle and called him to let him know that his brother was being weird. The cops were called. They couldn't make him go to the hospital, but were able to get him to leave the bar. He walked to the beach and left his phone there. He just got a brand new phone was is a tech nut , so it was so bizarre.I talked to him Jan 1st. He was saying he wanted a divorce. He hadn't been happy for 20 years. I called him our on his behaviour from the night before and told him he needed some help. He admitted it was weird and couldn't understand why he acted the way he did. I was able to get him to agree to talk to my step mom.My step mom was able to get him to the doctor. The doctor then got him into see a psychiatrist shortly after. His doctor suspected he was suffering with pot induced psychosis, wanted to prescribe him an antipsychotic. The psychiatrist ordered a CT scan and asked him to stop using the pot. My step mom did the same.He didn't. He continued using. Refused to fill the prescription from his doctor. He continued to post wacked shit. All of us were worried and asked him to get help. He'd make excuses that the pot helped him think clearer and shit like that.He claimed to have gone to the CT, and was healthy.He called me Easter morning saying he wanted a divorce. He left my step mom days later. He told my step mom he wanted a divorce via email. She is shattered. They have been together for 30 years. That was the last time he talked to me.My brother's and I have tried since April to reach our to him. Asking him to get help. Asking him for a reason why. He's ghosted us and all of his friends/family. He's talking to no one. Maybe he feels some guilt deep down or maybe he's just an asshole?Fast forward again.He seems like a completely different person now. He's cold and cruel to my step mom. Blaming her for absolutely everything. Wanting to leave her with nothing.Posting new age spiritual things he used to openly mock.He had been seeing someone since possibly last year.They got a motorhome and are travelling across the country.He took a second mortgage on his marital home, using up most of the equity. Leaving my step mom potentially homeless and left to deal with the house.Today I found my Dad and his gfs ahared profile. I'm sick and absolutely disgusted. I shared it with my step aunt's and brothers and can't bring myself to show my step mom. I'm absolutely shattered. It took all there was in me not to comment mean things on their stuff.Has anyone deal with this kind of coldness and abandonment?Is my dad sick or just a sociopath?! Is this a midlife crisis gone bad?I will definitely be in touch with a councillor to help me deal with this. I'm just heartbroken and had to get this out. I just can't make heads or tails out of this. My heart hurts for my family.If you made it to the end, thank you for reading this.Dad if you're on Reddit still, FUCK YOU for hurting my family. Time to take responsibility. Quit being a coward.TL;DR My dad has done a 180 in regards to his behaviour. Divorcing my step mom of 30 years. Ghosted his children and his long life friends. Can't tell if it's because he's had a midlife crisis, mental illness or if he is just a sociopath.