He (m38) told me his truths and I (f27) just need to move on.

I posted here last week about my partner and how I’m doing the bulk of everything while he grumbles or wastes away video gaming with all of his spare time.

I want a partner. I want compromise. I want someone who pushes me. I want someone who actually wants to help me with dinner/chores, or hang out with me, who will plan date nights. I want someone who is excited by me and who makes me a better person.

We had a talk tonight about the disproportionate amount of work in the rel that I am taking on. He told me I didn’t appreciate that he woke up so early for work and that he works outside and he’s tired and I act like it’s not a big deal. He told me that he doesn’t want to make dinner and he often wants to just mentally shut down after work. He advised if I want dinners to be a “fend for yourself” from now on, than we can do that and he just won’t eat. He also told me that ultimately he wants to do what he wants, when and how he wants it, and to not have someone who cares about it.

Ultimately he wants to reap the benefits of what I do In the rel and our home and not carry his own weight. He wants to live as a bachelor, and so he shall. He told me very clearly what his priorities are, and ours unfortunately do not align.

If I wanted to live with a roommate, I would have picked a roommate. He told me everything he needed to and I’ve made my decision. It’s going to be terribly hard to untangle five years but honestly life is way way way too short to be unhappy in a unbalanced relationship. I’d rather be single and happy than have someone selfish and lazy who only cares about himself who does nothing but stress me out by making me carry more weight than I need to.

Thank you for the advice by the way, to anyone who commented before.

TLDR: I do all the emotional and physical labour for our house and relationship. It’s done. I need someone who’s my partner. Not someone who checks out constantly and shuts down for months on end because he’s “tired” and would rather game for 7 hours.

Submitted July 28, 2019 at 12:02AM

I posted here last week about my partner and how I’m doing the bulk of everything while he grumbles or wastes away video gaming with all of his spare time.I want a partner. I want compromise. I want someone who pushes me. I want someone who actually wants to help me with dinner/chores, or hang out with me, who will plan date nights. I want someone who is excited by me and who makes me a better person.We had a talk tonight about the disproportionate amount of work in the rel that I am taking on. He told me I didn’t appreciate that he woke up so early for work and that he works outside and he’s tired and I act like it’s not a big deal. He told me that he doesn’t want to make dinner and he often wants to just mentally shut down after work. He advised if I want dinners to be a “fend for yourself” from now on, than we can do that and he just won’t eat. He also told me that ultimately he wants to do what he wants, when and how he wants it, and to not have someone who cares about it.Ultimately he wants to reap the benefits of what I do In the rel and our home and not carry his own weight. He wants to live as a bachelor, and so he shall. He told me very clearly what his priorities are, and ours unfortunately do not align.If I wanted to live with a roommate, I would have picked a roommate. He told me everything he needed to and I’ve made my decision. It’s going to be terribly hard to untangle five years but honestly life is way way way too short to be unhappy in a unbalanced relationship. I’d rather be single and happy than have someone selfish and lazy who only cares about himself who does nothing but stress me out by making me carry more weight than I need to.Thank you for the advice by the way, to anyone who commented before.TLDR: I do all the emotional and physical labour for our house and relationship. It’s done. I need someone who’s my partner. Not someone who checks out constantly and shuts down for months on end because he’s “tired” and would rather game for 7 hours.