I feel totally conflicted, and excited about the romantic direction I'm headed in with my two friends (an engaged couples).

My friend (who has been my mentor for the last three years) introduced me to her brother janurary last, and we hit it off and oops... fast forward: I'm in love with him and also his fiancé. The bisexual panic is real but sure, fine.

We are all friends, so I fantasise about them, who cares?

But if only. They're both so conspiratorial and my relationship with this couple is flirtier all the time. Example: they were staying at my place when they were in town and I said goodnight at the door.

"Won't you stay?" She asked, pulling back the covers.

It's PG, I tell myself. Sleepover club tame. And I so want to. I slipped in next to her, to them. Sleeping and touching as politely as three horizontal adults can in a bed of sexual tension.

We haven't spent a night in the same house in separate beds since. Whole weekends of spooning and "my morning wood doesn't bother you, does it?"

I still believed that I was imagining more than half of it. Building a castle of winks and smiles, waiting for it to be tumbled down by the first gust of reality.

Then in May he said "can I kiss you?" Two minutes later I was lying half on top of my best friends brother. My best friends funny, loving engaged brother. His fiancé was in the next room making us breakfast, telling him not to embarrass her. "If she does let you kiss her, you'd better rock her world."

He did not embarrass her. But once I knew it wasn't just jokes and teasing I had to decide what to do about this suddenly real thing.

I'm kissing him and it's hot and good...

But how could I have sex with the two of them and then look my friend in the eye at their wedding like I didn't know what the brides bush smelt like when I was tongue deep?

I didn't want to trade in the lovely dynamic I had for the sake of something I could never really have anyway.

We started talking then. About sex and all the tension of the last year. Sex with me, sex with them and me... ooof. He said that if we don't have sex now, that's entirely up to me, because if it were up to him. We'd be a lot less polite and a lot more naked.

I said no. Yes, I want to, but no, no thankyou.

And sure it was fine to say no then, but next time we're all lying in bed together, talking shite at 1am in our underwear, will I say no again? What about the time after that?

I ask myself these questions 100 times a day, trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cent.

Happy to hear pros, cons, questions, similar experiences, or facts about bridges.

Tl;Dr: I am constantly weighing the benefits of having sex with my friends engaged brother and sister in law to be.

Submitted July 29, 2019 at 11:24PM

My friend (who has been my mentor for the last three years) introduced me to her brother janurary last, and we hit it off and oops... fast forward: I'm in love with him and also his fiancé. The bisexual panic is real but sure, fine.We are all friends, so I fantasise about them, who cares?But if only. They're both so conspiratorial and my relationship with this couple is flirtier all the time. Example: they were staying at my place when they were in town and I said goodnight at the door."Won't you stay?" She asked, pulling back the covers.It's PG, I tell myself. Sleepover club tame. And I so want to. I slipped in next to her, to them. Sleeping and touching as politely as three horizontal adults can in a bed of sexual tension.We haven't spent a night in the same house in separate beds since. Whole weekends of spooning and "my morning wood doesn't bother you, does it?"I still believed that I was imagining more than half of it. Building a castle of winks and smiles, waiting for it to be tumbled down by the first gust of reality.Then in May he said "can I kiss you?" Two minutes later I was lying half on top of my best friends brother. My best friends funny, loving engaged brother. His fiancé was in the next room making us breakfast, telling him not to embarrass her. "If she does let you kiss her, you'd better rock her world."He did not embarrass her. But once I knew it wasn't just jokes and teasing I had to decide what to do about this suddenly real thing.I'm kissing him and it's hot and good...But how could I have sex with the two of them and then look my friend in the eye at their wedding like I didn't know what the brides bush smelt like when I was tongue deep?I didn't want to trade in the lovely dynamic I had for the sake of something I could never really have anyway.We started talking then. About sex and all the tension of the last year. Sex with me, sex with them and me... ooof. He said that if we don't have sex now, that's entirely up to me, because if it were up to him. We'd be a lot less polite and a lot more naked.I said no. Yes, I want to, but no, no thankyou.And sure it was fine to say no then, but next time we're all lying in bed together, talking shite at 1am in our underwear, will I say no again? What about the time after that?I ask myself these questions 100 times a day, trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cent.Happy to hear pros, cons, questions, similar experiences, or facts about bridges.Tl;Dr: I am constantly weighing the benefits of having sex with my friends engaged brother and sister in law to be.