Husband [30m] made me [29f] feel uncomfortable singing with him around.

Hi guys,

Yesterday was going so well. I'm generally always in a good mood and often like to sing to the radio or sometimes sing a disney song that I like while I clean or cook. Well, my husband and I were coming back from eating out on lunch and I start singing a beatles song. Granted I didnt sing it well at all because I was sorta mumbling the words and just playing around. But, my husband says "uh no, dont sing that, does NOT sound good." He guessed the song and I was surprised he could figure it out since I was just sorta humming and singing here and there. He then says "yea I guessed it even though you suck at singing." I asked him if he really thought that and he replies "well you're not great" and starts laughing. I'm obviously hurt and tell him that singing is a sign of comfort and health in a relationship. I started to get emotional and couldnt talk to him anymore so I was just quiet for the ride home. Made me feel so crappy. I was raised in a really loving home and we always liked to sing in front of each other. I grew up as a theatrical kid which included a ton of musicals. It's incredibly fun. I've never just outright felt like I was Adele, so obviously I didn't try to go that route. I'm just saying singing is something I think most of us enjoy to do. Then my husband shames me for it and thinks it's funny.

He can tell something is wrong later in the day because I am visibly turned off by him because of how he made me feel. He tried to have sex with me and I turned him down which never happens. So he persistently tries to figure out why I am not my "normal self."

I told him I would tell him later because I was too emotional to describe the reasons why I was upset. Obviously this was frustrating because I think most people could have picked this up without being "perplexed."

So I let off some steam and fueled my workout with my frustration. Then, I eventually started to tell him what happened. He immediately felt like it wasnt a big deal and didnt know why I would feel upset about it. He said it was a joke and I shouldn't be upset. This in turn actually made me even more upset. So I explained why I was hurt and he noticed I was getting emotional again. Then he says "I cant believe you're getting upset again."

I then didnt really wanna talk to him after that because I felt like it wasnt doing me any good anymore. He kept adding flame to the fire and said things like "I'm not a good singer either" and "we always joke about you not singing as well as the original singer." Then later he apologizes and adds "I think you're a good singer" which I cant even take seriously because of every little thing he said before that. In fact, it is more insulting because I know he isn't being sincere.

In the end, the only thing I am certain about is that I am now uncomfortable singing in front of my husband and this is very troublesome for me. I never imagined this would be a problem in any relationship I would ever have, much less with the one I married.

Tl;dr my husband hurt my feelings by saying I couldn't sing and then tried to apologize by saying I could sing which hurt more because he wasnt being sincere and probably just wanted me to shut up and be myself again.

Submitted July 29, 2019 at 11:57PM

Hi guys,Yesterday was going so well. I'm generally always in a good mood and often like to sing to the radio or sometimes sing a disney song that I like while I clean or cook. Well, my husband and I were coming back from eating out on lunch and I start singing a beatles song. Granted I didnt sing it well at all because I was sorta mumbling the words and just playing around. But, my husband says "uh no, dont sing that, does NOT sound good." He guessed the song and I was surprised he could figure it out since I was just sorta humming and singing here and there. He then says "yea I guessed it even though you suck at singing." I asked him if he really thought that and he replies "well you're not great" and starts laughing. I'm obviously hurt and tell him that singing is a sign of comfort and health in a relationship. I started to get emotional and couldnt talk to him anymore so I was just quiet for the ride home. Made me feel so crappy. I was raised in a really loving home and we always liked to sing in front of each other. I grew up as a theatrical kid which included a ton of musicals. It's incredibly fun. I've never just outright felt like I was Adele, so obviously I didn't try to go that route. I'm just saying singing is something I think most of us enjoy to do. Then my husband shames me for it and thinks it's funny.He can tell something is wrong later in the day because I am visibly turned off by him because of how he made me feel. He tried to have sex with me and I turned him down which never happens. So he persistently tries to figure out why I am not my "normal self."I told him I would tell him later because I was too emotional to describe the reasons why I was upset. Obviously this was frustrating because I think most people could have picked this up without being "perplexed."So I let off some steam and fueled my workout with my frustration. Then, I eventually started to tell him what happened. He immediately felt like it wasnt a big deal and didnt know why I would feel upset about it. He said it was a joke and I shouldn't be upset. This in turn actually made me even more upset. So I explained why I was hurt and he noticed I was getting emotional again. Then he says "I cant believe you're getting upset again."I then didnt really wanna talk to him after that because I felt like it wasnt doing me any good anymore. He kept adding flame to the fire and said things like "I'm not a good singer either" and "we always joke about you not singing as well as the original singer." Then later he apologizes and adds "I think you're a good singer" which I cant even take seriously because of every little thing he said before that. In fact, it is more insulting because I know he isn't being sincere.In the end, the only thing I am certain about is that I am now uncomfortable singing in front of my husband and this is very troublesome for me. I never imagined this would be a problem in any relationship I would ever have, much less with the one I married.Tl;dr my husband hurt my feelings by saying I couldn't sing and then tried to apologize by saying I could sing which hurt more because he wasnt being sincere and probably just wanted me to shut up and be myself again.