/u/Hobblinharry on Before you realized you may be ace, did anyone of y’all were like “ hell yeah sex” cuz you were just curious or wanted to know what it was like?

As a teenage boy and beyond, sex was always more of an abstract idea in my head when it came to romantic attractions, and I was always more aroused by the idea of pleasing a partner orally or another way, and knowing that I was doing something for them was what I found attractive about that, and never really thought about them reciprocating. I've talked to some of my friends from back then and they have attested that the way I talked about girls and sex was different than they felt about about the subject or remember others talking about. In college I didn't really talk about girls or sex to anyone and I even had some people think I was gay because of it, and now in the workforce I still don't talk about girls or sex with anyone, lol. So my only real reference point is from when I was in high school, which is why I brought it up.

As far as how I FEEL about sex, yes for a long time I was was curious about it because have sexual intercourse is just something that society expects you to do, and when I was 21 I was hit on very heavily by this girl at a party and she took me to her place and I didn't really want to go, but I had been drinking and let my inhibitions go so we finally got around to it, we started making out and I found it to be very awkward and then she wanted to have sex so I tried to go along with it because "its what guys do right?" but in the moment I was very not into it and it just kind of awkwardly ended and she blamed it on (and I let her blame it on) the alcohol.

Then last year I had a steady girlfriend for a couple of months and we tried having sex a couple of times (completely sober) at her request and I still not get into it with her either, but to be honest I wasn't even really into her but this was before I understood my asexuality and what I was missing was sexual attraction. It didn't work out after that. I think if I understood myself then like I do now, that relationship may have lasted if she was okay with me being ace, as there was a degree of romantic attraction there for me.





April 16, 2019 at 05:25AM
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