I (F) had anal with SO (M) and it got a little messy. I was embarrassed but we laughed it off and moved on. Now months later, he still hasn’t initiated anything with my ass despite my asking him to. Did I put him off it?

I’ve been seeing SO for over a year and we have an incredible sexual connection. We are both fairly kinky and our desires line up surprisingly well. We’re both very open about our sexuality and haven’t had any trouble (as far as I know) asking for what we want.

He’s been really open about how much he loves asses and from the beginning of our relationship he expressed wanting to explore anal. We started out using butt plugs which worked well for training.

Our first handful of experiences went super well with no hiccups, other than the occasional painful moment but that was expected. Overall it felt great and I have been excited about pursuing it further!

The last time we attempted anything we were a little tipsy after getting dinner and I suggested we start it up. Everything was going well until a few minutes in he paused and said he would need to go to the restroom to clean up. It was by no means everywhere but we nevertheless needed to stop what we were doing in that moment. I was pretty embarrassed but he reassured me that it was no big deal and after some clean up we jumped back into our normal sex routine.

It’s been a few months since then and he hasn’t mentioned or tried anything related to ass play since that night. I’ve brought up the subject a number of times saying that I’d like to give it another try to which he says he’s down but then there’s no action. Being that it was something he cared a lot about before, it seems unlikely to me that it’s a coincidence that he hasn’t brought it up.

Did I put him off his sexual preference? Has anyone had an experience like this where you were really into something but then it went badly and you were no longer into it? I would love some advice on how to bring this up with him next time we hang out.

Submitted April 16, 2019 at 05:19AM

I’ve been seeing SO for over a year and we have an incredible sexual connection. We are both fairly kinky and our desires line up surprisingly well. We’re both very open about our sexuality and haven’t had any trouble (as far as I know) asking for what we want.He’s been really open about how much he loves asses and from the beginning of our relationship he expressed wanting to explore anal. We started out using butt plugs which worked well for training.Our first handful of experiences went super well with no hiccups, other than the occasional painful moment but that was expected. Overall it felt great and I have been excited about pursuing it further!The last time we attempted anything we were a little tipsy after getting dinner and I suggested we start it up. Everything was going well until a few minutes in he paused and said he would need to go to the restroom to clean up. It was by no means everywhere but we nevertheless needed to stop what we were doing in that moment. I was pretty embarrassed but he reassured me that it was no big deal and after some clean up we jumped back into our normal sex routine.It’s been a few months since then and he hasn’t mentioned or tried anything related to ass play since that night. I’ve brought up the subject a number of times saying that I’d like to give it another try to which he says he’s down but then there’s no action. Being that it was something he cared a lot about before, it seems unlikely to me that it’s a coincidence that he hasn’t brought it up.Did I put him off his sexual preference? Has anyone had an experience like this where you were really into something but then it went badly and you were no longer into it? I would love some advice on how to bring this up with him next time we hang out.