My not so optimistic look on love

Love has always been a weird theme and experience for me. When I think about it, I don't know if I ever experienced real love before. There was one boy who I'm doubting over to. I felt my heart beating faster and butterflies rapidly flying in my stomach but I'm still not sure. It was something more than outside, the mystery around his beautiful eyes and behavior drove me crazy.

He became popular and he completely changed himself which made me lose interest. Nothing special was about him. Just a bland eyes with even blander personality. But I like remembering us giving each others confused looks and now that I think about it, he may loved me back but he was, just as me, scared to start something.

Now when I finished this, let's get over to my opinions on love. I was so pumped about it before, I thought a real guy will come but I just gave up. I don't think I like love now.

I mostly realised this when my close friends started dating. This girl sent their cute picture or something and it made me realize how fucking retarded this all is. I don't need anybody to hug and kiss me. I don't need anybody to protect me. I'll cry in corner for hours, but I'll do it myself, not a single person saw something more than talking and laughing about me anyways. I just accepted the fact that I'll die alone. Nobody ever showed more than zero interest in me. Except one guy, but it was for like two days.

I might be wrong because I most definitely couldn't handle a breakup. I might be wrong because I'm just so young and dumb to know anything about this. I might be wrong because I never actually been in real love, and nobody has been in real love with me.

Love is just a meaningless trap in which people blindly fall into. Love is blind. It fucking is.



Submitted April 21, 2019 at 07:51PM

Love has always been a weird theme and experience for me. When I think about it, I don't know if I ever experienced real love before. There was one boy who I'm doubting over to. I felt my heart beating faster and butterflies rapidly flying in my stomach but I'm still not sure. It was something more than outside, the mystery around his beautiful eyes and behavior drove me crazy.He became popular and he completely changed himself which made me lose interest. Nothing special was about him. Just a bland eyes with even blander personality. But I like remembering us giving each others confused looks and now that I think about it, he may loved me back but he was, just as me, scared to start something.Now when I finished this, let's get over to my opinions on love. I was so pumped about it before, I thought a real guy will come but I just gave up. I don't think I like love now.I mostly realised this when my close friends started dating. This girl sent their cute picture or something and it made me realize how fucking retarded this all is. I don't need anybody to hug and kiss me. I don't need anybody to protect me. I'll cry in corner for hours, but I'll do it myself, not a single person saw something more than talking and laughing about me anyways. I just accepted the fact that I'll die alone. Nobody ever showed more than zero interest in me. Except one guy, but it was for like two days.I might be wrong because I most definitely couldn't handle a breakup. I might be wrong because I'm just so young and dumb to know anything about this. I might be wrong because I never actually been in real love, and nobody has been in real love with me.Love is just a meaningless trap in which people blindly fall into. Love is blind. It fucking is.
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