Boyfriend wants a break and I don’t know what to think?

So my boyfriend [20M] and I [22F] have been together for nearly 8 months. For the past couple of weeks, we’ve been arguing about the same thing nearly everyday. He practically moved into my apartment early into our relationship, so we were seeing each other nearly everyday. Anyway, a couple days ago after having the same argument for the hundredth time, he told me he thinks we need to go on a break. I told him I don’t believe in breaks (I always felt that breaks were just an excuse to find someone better and have me as a backup or an excuse to cheat thanks to Friends) so we should either break up or just try to fix our problems while staying together. He chose to break up instead.

So we had been no contact the past couple of days until I needed a really big favor from him because a friend of mine backed out from helping me, plus he promised me weeks ago he’d help me. So today, he was super affectionate the whole time he was helping me out. He hugged me the second he saw me, kept calling me baby, kept doing this tapping thing he does where he’ll like tap me a couple times on my shoulder. He even cuddled me when he came back to my house to relax after he helped me out. I told him we needed to talk as he was really confusing me with his actions as I thought we had broken up. He told me we were still on a break (I guess we never actually broke up), just for the time being until he figures his life out. He said he’s jumped between serious relationships too quickly and needs some time to himself to just figure everything out. He promised that he’s not looking for other girls, and that it’s something he thinks we need if we want to last as a couple.

After talking to him, I definitely feel a lot more confident about this break. I mean I was pretty devastated about the break up for the past couple days, but talking to him made me feel much better. However, my friends still insist that he’s trying to find another girl. I saw he was snapchatting some girls today, but they could be friends. Trust issues were also something that caused alot of fights between us, so I do need to personally work on that. My friends think that I’m being dumb by trusting him and his intentions with this break. However, I do think this break is needed if that’s actually what he wants to do. I know he ended a really serious relationship two months prior to beginning his relationship with me, which is quite quick in my opinion. His life is also quite a mess if I’m honest, and I do think he needs to figure his life out at least for his sake. I never really quite realized how terrible of an upbringing he had as a child, and the effect it has on him as an adult until I was ranting about it to my friend.

I just don’t know whether to listen to my instincts and trust him with this break, or to listen to my friends and protect myself from a broken heart in the future? It just seemed after today that he genuinely wants to get back together and that he just needs time to himself for the sake of our relationship and his relationships with his friends and family. I mean he left his birth certificate at my house, and told me that we’ll be back together soon enough. Am I being dumb right now?

Sorry if this is long and barely coherent. My mind’s a mess right now because of all this plus additional stress from family and work.

TL;DR: My boyfriend wants a break for a couple of weeks and I sort of agree with him, but my friends don’t trust his intentions and now I’m confused as to what to think.

Submitted April 22, 2019 at 07:06AM

So my boyfriend [20M] and I [22F] have been together for nearly 8 months. For the past couple of weeks, we’ve been arguing about the same thing nearly everyday. He practically moved into my apartment early into our relationship, so we were seeing each other nearly everyday. Anyway, a couple days ago after having the same argument for the hundredth time, he told me he thinks we need to go on a break. I told him I don’t believe in breaks (I always felt that breaks were just an excuse to find someone better and have me as a backup or an excuse to cheat thanks to Friends) so we should either break up or just try to fix our problems while staying together. He chose to break up instead.So we had been no contact the past couple of days until I needed a really big favor from him because a friend of mine backed out from helping me, plus he promised me weeks ago he’d help me. So today, he was super affectionate the whole time he was helping me out. He hugged me the second he saw me, kept calling me baby, kept doing this tapping thing he does where he’ll like tap me a couple times on my shoulder. He even cuddled me when he came back to my house to relax after he helped me out. I told him we needed to talk as he was really confusing me with his actions as I thought we had broken up. He told me we were still on a break (I guess we never actually broke up), just for the time being until he figures his life out. He said he’s jumped between serious relationships too quickly and needs some time to himself to just figure everything out. He promised that he’s not looking for other girls, and that it’s something he thinks we need if we want to last as a couple.After talking to him, I definitely feel a lot more confident about this break. I mean I was pretty devastated about the break up for the past couple days, but talking to him made me feel much better. However, my friends still insist that he’s trying to find another girl. I saw he was snapchatting some girls today, but they could be friends. Trust issues were also something that caused alot of fights between us, so I do need to personally work on that. My friends think that I’m being dumb by trusting him and his intentions with this break. However, I do think this break is needed if that’s actually what he wants to do. I know he ended a really serious relationship two months prior to beginning his relationship with me, which is quite quick in my opinion. His life is also quite a mess if I’m honest, and I do think he needs to figure his life out at least for his sake. I never really quite realized how terrible of an upbringing he had as a child, and the effect it has on him as an adult until I was ranting about it to my friend.I just don’t know whether to listen to my instincts and trust him with this break, or to listen to my friends and protect myself from a broken heart in the future? It just seemed after today that he genuinely wants to get back together and that he just needs time to himself for the sake of our relationship and his relationships with his friends and family. I mean he left his birth certificate at my house, and told me that we’ll be back together soon enough. Am I being dumb right now?Sorry if this is long and barely coherent. My mind’s a mess right now because of all this plus additional stress from family and work.TL;DR: My boyfriend wants a break for a couple of weeks and I sort of agree with him, but my friends don’t trust his intentions and now I’m confused as to what to think.