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Showing posts from October, 2023

/u/AndroidwithAnxiety on Novel research: I'm making an asexual main character

Surely him not pursuing a relationship with a woman would be taken as a sign he's gay? October 31, 2023 at 11:01PM

/u/Yolsy01 on Why are we gatekeeping asexuality?

From my understanding (and my opinion), that notion came about from the initial "wrong" of sex favorable aces seemingly pushing sex repulsed aces out. That morphed into this shared anti-sex-favorable-ace rhetoric, which naturally morphed into "they arent REAL aces." The initial wrong seemed to be interpreted now as a general effort from allos to infiltrate ace spaces with microlabels and the like...making sex-repulsed aces feel even MORE ostracized. But not everyone there agrees with that statement. I openly identified as sex favorable/ neutral when i asked and wasn't accused of not being ace or disingenuous. October 30, 2023 at 11:16PM

/u/swahappycat on Do you like having sex in the beginning of a relationship, and then rarely later on?

I relate completely. I don't have much to add but it's nice to hear I'm not alone. It's always been a relationship destroyer in my experience. October 30, 2023 at 11:15PM

/u/adhesivepants on Why are we gatekeeping asexuality?

Where there are any semblance of tribe there will be people trying to make that tribe "exclusive". Partially out of a desire for purity. Partially out of a desire to be "special". October 30, 2023 at 11:10PM

/u/SavannahInChicago on Frfr

Aegosexual. I don’t get turned on IRL but I do with books. October 30, 2023 at 11:10PM

/u/MemorySerumTube on How my ex reacted. How did your ex (if you have one) take it?

If I thought someone was genuinely interested in having sex, and they pretended "well", then I later learned they would have preferred not to and only acted to be interested on my behalf (through no coercion or pressure of my own) I 100% would feel guilty for no logical reason and struggle with thoughts I somehow pressured them without knowing. Please ace or not, sexual attraction or not, never tolerate anyone pretending to enjoy sex it is not fair to that partner that was under the belief it was enthusiastic consent. That all being said, I totally understand having to feign consent and tolerate sexual activity I wasn't interested in due to coercion and guilt tripping. In that case, obviously someone is taking advantage of someone and it doesn't matter if I was ace or not I wasn't interested. I was commenting on the way the TikTok was worded, it didn't include the context of "I pretended for survival" like we did.. October 29, 2023 at 10:59...

/u/Manocats75 on romantic asexual here, keep bumping into aromantic asexuals

48M heteroromantic ace here! Add me to the roll-call, pleeeeease! Where the heck did you find other asexuals?! Good work! 😅 October 29, 2023 at 10:57PM

She dating other guy but Slept with Me

Hi Guys , firstly English isn’t my Mother Language so forgive my many mistakes . Long story short Me(32M) dated twice with her ( 26F) about 2 months ago. I had some problems with my family in my country , and I was dealing with the possibility to get back to my country or stay here and start a relationship with her , for 3 weeks I ghosted her ( stopped to communicate) because I was very sad with this situation and I didn’t have courage to tell her my problems . So this week we started to text again and we set another Date , I invite her to go to movie theater and she endly agreed to watch movie in my house. We had an excellent night ( sex , conversation , laughs) . Next day I invite her to go to a concert that will happen in two weeks , she told me “ I won’t lie to you , but I’m dating another guy for a month ) and yes I notice that she was posting some stories on IG in fancy restaurants but never showed him . Now she told me that she is excited with this new dude and want to try work...

I suck at reading women and need help

Hello, so I will be vague due to unsure if the girl has reddit. So I am in a college class to get a certification to work in medical field. And I have been doing my own thing. But there is this really cute girl who is my classmate. Now even as adults we make assumptions. Now a few people in our class get along better with others. Now this girl usually talks to this 1 guy a lot well we thought they were dating. Well recently me and that girl have been talking more while in class and on breaks. A lot seems really innocent really but like today she was chatting and blushing and joking. One thing I do is tease and say how cute her handwriting is as its really tiny. Well today she would constantly look back and show me her notes and I made normal comments. Well after my comments she wrote a tiny bit bigger and said something like "see I can write bigger" we exchanged our laughs and focused on class. During our break we saw the snow. So we just went outside and enjoyed it teased ...

Is it appropriate to message someone who's number you got in a group chat? (I know her well, we get along greatly but i didn't ask her number directly)

So full disclosure, we know each other from a hobby group and we get along well but i never directly asked her number. I only know her number because the hobby group created a group text. So it's not like i'm a stranger, i just didn't ask her number myself. Would it be weird if i message her privately? We have common interests and she seems very comfortable talking to me. She was kind of shy at first to everyone but she opens up to me a good bit. Submitted October 29, 2023 at 12:04AM So full disclosure, we know each other from a hobby group and we get along well but i never directly asked her number. I only know her number because the hobby group created a group text. So it's not like i'm a stranger, i just didn't ask her number myself. Would it be weird if i message her privately?We have common interests and she seems very comfortable talking to me. She was kind of shy at first to everyone but she opens up to me a good bit.

Date meets girls from his country and ignores me

Hey, I had a somewhat weird second date. We were sitting in the restaurant and nicely chatting, then 2 young girls with 2 babies come and sit on the neighbour table. I was telling some story and suddenly my date turns to these girls and starts speaking his mother tongue. And they do so for several minutes, completely excluding me. I was not knowing what to do, where to look, super confused. Then after a long time as it seemed tells me, they are diplomants and blabla. Then later these girls are about to leave and he starts again all of the sudden speaking with one of them for a couple of minutes and !takes her phone number! I look completely confused at him and he tells me he wants to send her information about some event for their country people in our city. After my shock the date continued nicely actually but now I am reviewing it and I don't knooow what to think. It was disrespectful in my opinion, should I tell him this? But don't want to sound jealous and needy. Need yo...

when do you typically have the what are we/what do you see us as talk. i know people have dif views but would like to hear peoples timeframes on things

so i recently started talking seeing this girl. i really like her and i have the feeling she feels the same. next week it will be three weeks since we met/started hanging out however i know its been less then a month which is a pretty short time frame but next week we have plans to goto the the pro soccer game and it will already be our 4th time hanging out exclusively where its just me and her. two of the four times we have had plans she has been the one to bring up hanging out with one another (keeps beating me to it) the touch barrier has been broken and we still see each other. after we go out for the game next week since we have hung out so much in a short period of time and the touch barrier has been broken, for example when we were at the bar the other night when i put my arm around her she grabbed my hand and held it for a good bit of time do you think due to stuff like that, her bringing up seeing each other again and how much we have already hung out its safe to say theres i...

Mutual feelings became one sided.

Currently in high school, made a new couple friends, including this great guy. We started to get to know each other a couple months back. Before school we’d talk, we had one class where we would talk a bunch when there was freetime , at break we’d be near each other, in another class we also spent time together, and after school we’d walk together. Eventually, I caught feelings for this guy after spending so much time with each other, he truly was the perfect guy for me. When I found out through a friend of mine he liked me a lot (he didn’t know I liked him though) too, (showed me text proofs of him gushing over me) I was so happy. This would have been my first relationship, and his too, as told by my friend. I never felt feelings like that for anyone, he genuinely made me so happy. So at that point, we weren’t dating, it sorta became a talking stage except he didn’t know my feelings. But after this week, things started going downhill. Our classes started to get serious, meaning there...

Can I get some thoughts on a relationship I had to end last year?

This is a rambling mess. Excuse how shuffled it is. This was an on and off again ex. It was never too nasty or anything just, not the right timing type deal. We didn't speak for 4 years and one day she hits me up. Immediately we're into it, feels awesome, just super lovey dovey, fucking a lot, she'd send sweet messages in the morning, pictures because I liked seeing her, typical stuff. Two months in, completely dies down. Like I mean a 180. We'd still have sex, but it felt more muted and obligatory. She told me I was being too affectionate, and that she's just not that affectionate. It became difficult to talk to her. She'd act snide or irritated, like the relationship became a nuisance. I spoke to her about it and she said she didn't want to make me the focal point of her life. I was like sure that's okay, I just enjoy time with you and expressing my feelings. In response she told me that I was right and that she shouldn't have been so extreme. N...

Guys - Does receiving a GIF from a girl make you respond?

I notice that bumble has pre-selected GIFs as a way to break the ice that can be sent to a guy. What are your first impressions when you receive one? How do you typically respond? Submitted October 28, 2023 at 12:15AM I notice that bumble has pre-selected GIFs as a way to break the ice that can be sent to a guy. What are your first impressions when you receive one? How do you typically respond?

Are last minute dates worth it? Ive been talking to him for a month and he asks me out for tomorrow night.

I 30f have matched with a guy 39m who ive matched with in the past but i guess it fizzled out. At first I was excited to start talking to him again. This time, we matched again and we never stopped talking, but he responds like once a day. Convo overall is pretty good though. So it's been a month of talking, I had pretty much given up on him asking me out. Most guys on the apps try to ask me out ASAP or if uninterested they'd likely ghost or let the convo die, so it's a bit weird. Now today he mentioned how I kept my weekend open so do I want to go for a drink tomorrow night (he asked like an hour ago it's Thursday night). At this point I was planning on going to a nice yoga class by myself or something. Do you think last minute dates are worth it or is he a waste of time? Submitted October 27, 2023 at 12:09AM I 30f have matched with a guy 39m who ive matched with in the past but i guess it fizzled out. At first I was excited to start talking to him again. This ...

/u/KurohNeko on Asexual people, where are you based ?

Poland 🙃 October 25, 2023 at 11:24PM

/u/QueenLeafAsgard on Does it count if it's only for real people?

Fictosexual is a closer definition to what OP is looking for October 25, 2023 at 11:23PM

/u/Kunny-kaisha on How to come out

Well, being ace was never a big deal in my friendgroup. But, that can of course vary from person to person. You should only tell your friends, if you are ready for it. It's when the thought about talking about it doesn't make you feel like something terrible might happen or when you feel especially comfortable with it. However, if you wish to come out and are unsure of their reactions, try to get a feel on what they think about asexuality. Maybe even play a bit "dumb", asking them "Hey, do you guys know about" asexuality"? " and then you will see if they do and what they know and think about it. It's like playing a +4 card in UNO. You can't lose when you put it down and it gives you security that you can get the color to finally lay down that one card you have AND eventually more rounds where you can strategize again, bringing you closer to a win. October 25, 2023 at 11:21PM

/u/pikachutails on Asexual people, where are you based ?

The US.... I'm embarrassed October 25, 2023 at 11:21PM

I(18m)gave her (18F) my number, but she hasn't texted me. What should I do?

So I worked a few weeks at a summer camp with this girl. We got along pretty well. I was assigned to work with her a lot so we had many interactions. I thought she liked me a bit but I have to admit she gave some mixed signals. The positive signals were that she was perfectly fine spending time alone with me. For example because we worked together I taught her 1 on 1 how to do a lot of things. Also at the end of the two weeks she wanted to hug me like twice which I thought was weird. From my experience women only act that way with their own gender. But she also had some negative signs. One time when I was going to add her to a photo sharing app that my other coworkers and I shared I asked for her number so I could send her the invite. She said she didn't have her phone on her and she didn't have her number memorized. So I saw her last week at an fall event. We talked a bit and had some positive interactions. When I was leaving I gave her my number. It's been a few days an...

Is he not interested anymore?

(35F) (58M) I randomly met someone while walking my dog one day and he asked me if I’d like to get coffee or lunch sometime. We exchanged numbers and 5 days later we went out to dinner. Prior to those 5 days, he called me everyday for 4 days and we would just talk for about 10 minutes. Obviously talked with him on the day we went out on our date. He called me the next day. Then I didn’t hear from him for a day then he called me everyday for 3 days. I sent him a text of a picture of something I made on Saturday and he replied quickly. We exchanged a few texts. He had plans Saturday so I didn’t want to bother him. I haven’t heard from him since then pretty much. I’m unsure if either he lost interest, was only looking for a hookup or maybe he felt I wasn’t interested since he was the one initiating the phone calls. Sometimes I feel confused on what to do here because of how “men should be taking the lead” “if he wanted to he would” I really have no problem making a call or whatever but I...

(19m) in a transitional phase in life should I be pursuing dating or my passion?

So I've mingled around with a few girls and nothing ever came of it and dating is honestly starting to feel boring and hopeless right now idk if it's just poor choice of women or me being focused on other things I've been on a self improvement journey I've quit drinking and working on quitting weed and porn doing good so far and I'm pursuing my dream of becoming a pro athlete in muay thai and it takes up a lot of time I feel like any time I've tried talking too a woman I'm interested in I end up getting friend zoned I went on a date with a girl I saw on Instagram and she canceled halfway through the date cause she got nervous and maybe a month or two later she hit me up again and we had a one night stand and she never spoke to me again another girl I talked too about a month thought it went well so I made a move and put my arm around her and we cuddled and watched a movie then the morning after I got ghosted I feel like my time is more well spent pursuing m...

Ayazhan Alibayeva and Feruza Kayumova

If you come across either one of these two women online and they ask you for money do not give them any. They are both scammers they will just take your money. Submitted October 25, 2023 at 12:13AM If you come across either one of these two women online and they ask you for money do not give them any. They are both scammers they will just take your money.

/u/enbyeggsalad on How do you feel about genitals?

Same. It's just not something I ever think about. I find it odd at allo people do...and enjoy it? Cant wrap my brain around that lol October 23, 2023 at 11:28PM

/u/averkitpy on What's it like to be sex-neutral or sex-repulsed?

yeah same, i can talk about and joke about it and shit but anything when it involves me disgusts me. if i see real genitals im like slightly disgusted (more so disgusted with like vaginas and shit) but if i see a dick its just like "okay. its a dick." and it doesnt really phase me or make me aroused at all. sex itself disgusts me and the idea of people doing sexual things disgusts me but i can still talk about it maturely if need be October 22, 2023 at 11:06PM

Should i tell his girlfriend?

Me and this guy has been having sex since 2020. I love him. He knows it. But he doesnt share the same feeling. I respect that. But he still continue coming to me without me provoking or seducing him. So i assume maybe he loves me a bit. Last night i saw his photo with a girl saying 1st anniversary. The date of the photo, and 3 weeks after that he was at my place, with sensual sex. Having declared love and official photo, why did he come back to me? He didnt tell me he has a serious thing going on. Fine. I accept my fate. But should i tell his girlfriend? -hearbroken but pragmatic- Submitted October 22, 2023 at 12:15AM Me and this guy has been having sex since 2020. I love him. He knows it. But he doesnt share the same feeling. I respect that. But he still continue coming to me without me provoking or seducing him. So i assume maybe he loves me a bit. Last night i saw his photo with a girl saying 1st anniversary. The date of the photo, and 3 weeks after that he was at my place, w...

/u/AndroidwithAnxiety on I’m hurt by how the community views orchidsexual

I don't think you're in the wrong for feeling hurt - your experiences are what they are, and this is how they've made you feel. I will say... from my understanding (and please please correct me if I'm wrong) 'orchidsexual' is defined by someone who regularly/often - or always - feels sexual attraction, but is sex repulsed? AKA, a sex-repulsed allo? I know it's specifically the sex-repulsion that drew you to the label, but is there a reason you didn't want to call yourself a sex-repulsed greysexual? I know it's not as snappy and doesn't roll of the tongue as easily, but I can't help feeling maybe some of your feelings of rejection might be coming from a miscommunication about what people understand 'orchidsexual' to be ? Because I think the definition being used in the discussions on the posts you saw, was the 'sex-repulsed allo ' definition. That's certainly the definition I based my opinions on. And, well... yeah, th...

How do I tell my date to keep it cool and quit smothering me?

Hi, I'm (F24) in a mutual exclusive relationship with a guy (M26) I met on Bumble. We've known each other only 3 weeks, but he's taking it way faster than I want. I agreed for the mutual exclusivity because I actually enjoy and like him, and wanted us to explore our connection further without the distractions of other people. With that being said, he's moving way too fast for my comfort. He talks about how I'm the best thing, that he wants to spend all his time with me, even mentioned "our kids" in a jokingly way, that he wants this to be his best and last relationship, that he wants to take many trips with me, talks about our 5 year anniversary in the future, and a lot more. I feel like he's putting me on a pedestal and has an idealistic view of our relationship when I don't even have the time to just enjoy a slow burn, it's honestly pushing me away. Although flattering what he says, I also feel smothered. How do I bring this up without hurti...

Should I just end things now?

Should I just end things now? I’ve been seeing this guy for two months now, officially seeing him for about a month. The first month or so was great, he was texting me all the time, we saw each other at least twice a week, spent the night at his house two weeks ago, and it seems like ever since that weekend it’s been different. We saw each other last Wednesday, but he had to cut it short to help his dad with something, Thursday he said we would do something, then Thursday told me he was busy helping his dad again, we did meet up later Thursday night, then last weekend I was supposed to go to his house Saturday, he says come down we’ll do breakfast, then 10 minutes later says never mind don’t come down and gave me a lame excuse, so I didn’t seem him at all this weekend. Had to practically beg him to see me Monday. We had made plans for two weeks now for this upcoming weekend because it’s his birthday, he now tells me his work friends want to take him out Saturday, I even asked him ...

Girls, what are the best dms you’ve received from a guy on Instagram that worked

Im curious from a girls pov Submitted October 19, 2023 at 12:12AM Im curious from a girls pov

How do you keep the faith when you feel hopeless? 29F

I've been single and actively dating for the last 2.5 years. I've been on a lot of dates (65 first dates to be exact, since May 2021). Some have turned into second and third dates, and there was one guy I dated for a few months, but nothing has turned into a committed relationship. In my most recent experience, I went on (at least, what I thought were) 3 great dates. And after expressing a lot of interest, this guy just disappeared. I understand no one owes you anything in early dating, but 1) we were intimate and, 2) this man is 35 years old...lol. You would think he would have the maturity to send a simple text that said "hey, I enjoyed meeting you. I don't think this is a good fit" or something. Typically, I would dust off the rejection and just keep it moving. I've been ghosted before. But for some reason, this one got to me, and I just broke down. The accumulation of trying and trying with no success, has taken its toll. At this point in my dating jou...

Am I overreacting?

I (30f) Recently started talking to this guy (35m) in September of this year and things have been okay to say the least. A week after we first met, he asked me on a date, We met at a local restaurant that I’d never been to and was impressed. The date went really good and i enjoyed getting to know him (although he was a kind of quiet). We’ve been texting daily, and although sometimes the conversations get a little dry, I’ve been honestly enjoying talking to him. Now for the reason for my post This Saturday that just passed, He invited me to his house for the first time for to hang out and for drinks (i told him about me leaving my job the previous Thursday and he recognized i needed a little pick me up) And while we were drinking he requested me to cook for him. Previously He asked me before through texting and i thought he was playing around (because it was like day 3 of us getting to know each other and i was like “booooy noo lol”) So when he asked me again it caught me a little of...

/u/92925 on Stuff my “friend” said to me

Oh…. Ew… 😭 October 17, 2023 at 11:41PM

Woman Ended it Abruptly After 6 Dates and I’m Baffled Why

I went on 6 dates with a woman that seemed super interested and then she ended it abruptly and I’m still questioning why. Background: She was married for 5 years to a guy she dated for 8-10 years and was divorced 2-3 years ago. The dates were going well. We were affectionate, making out and holding hands. After the 4th date we had three dates in the future planned. Then after the 5th date she asked if I wanted to come back to her place after the next date. I was excited because it seemed like this was going somewhere. Then on the 6th date, she didn’t invite me back, and then texted to end it when I got home. She said she “wasn’t feeling the chemistry that she wants to feel.” She said I was “kind, lovely, compassionate, and endearing.” I told her I was confused because she seemed so interested wanting to invite me back to her place. She normally rode her scooter to all of our dates, and on this date she took and Uber. She still planning right up until meeting me that night for us to...

/u/Sick_Curious on I view sex like a hobby?

I thought this too for awhile!! October 15, 2023 at 10:47PM

I’m comfortable but there’s no connection

How long should you get to know a guy before throwing in the towel? It’s been almost two months and still I feel no spark or emotional connection. We don’t really have anything in common besides wanting to screw each other every chance we get. He’s more of a friend vibe. When should I have the talk with him to check in where he’s at with things? Do I give it more time or should I already know at this point? Submitted October 15, 2023 at 12:13AM How long should you get to know a guy before throwing in the towel? It’s been almost two months and still I feel no spark or emotional connection. We don’t really have anything in common besides wanting to screw each other every chance we get. He’s more of a friend vibe. When should I have the talk with him to check in where he’s at with things? Do I give it more time or should I already know at this point?

/u/KulturaOryniacka on If you could wake up tomorrow in a world where everyone was asexual would you?

absolutely agree but others seem to not get it October 13, 2023 at 11:33PM

/u/TrappedMoose on I feel uncomfortable in my health subject, which is sexual health for this term

Tbh when I was 14 I felt physically ill in sex ed, left one activity crying, etc. I don’t really know why it repulsed me so much at the time and I don’t really have any advice other than that it gets better, at least for me I got over it within ~2 years so hopefully it will for you too :/ October 12, 2023 at 11:17PM

/u/Klexington47 on Children and families

Maybe look into grey spectrum? Demi or something might fit your experience and help answer your question October 12, 2023 at 11:10PM

Unsure

Okay, so I started college a month and a half ago, and about 3 weeks ago I was having a really horrible morning and this guy (ill call him E) looked at me then looked down and gave a huge open smile, I fell immediately. So the week after I was walking to the bathroom and he let out the loudest sigh and then after class he actually came up and talked to me, he laughed and smiled at my dumb jokes and he always kept eye contact with me and then he did the thing where he acted like he didn't hear me and leaned in closer and said "hmm?" Still keeping eye contact the whole time, then the next week our eye contact was strong and we were smiling at eachother the whole class. But the previous two times he purposely avoided eye contact, looking at the ceiling and not talking to me after class besides "see you on Thursday" he said this with his back turned to me. And then yesterday I explained at the end of class some personal problems with the teacher and he overheard an...

Should I move on

Me and my (ex) bf was dating for around 2 months and recently he told me he wanted us to take a step back from a “relationship”. He said he still liked me a lot but at the moment he feels like he needs more time and space for himself and be on his own and spends time for self development that he cannot fully involve in “dating” with anyone anymore. I totally understand and thought it was reasonable and acceptable if he thinks being in a relationship requires a lot of responsibilities which he cannot handle at the moment. I can’t force someone to date me any way. Despite the decision to take a break from dating, we both talked things through and agreed that we still had feelings for each other so we wouldn’t stop caring for each other and still wanted to keep each other in our lives by staying friends (more than normal friends). Yet, things feel very off recently with communication between us. It takes him so long just to check my messages. Of course I didn’t expect him, who is no long...

Outrageous demands from men.

So today I was hit up on by a guy in the street and we talked a bit and exchanged snapchats. Before saying goodbye he told me that he was looking for something not serious, like going on dates and eating out ect but no relationship (i didn’t even ask him nor did I really care but okay…) then when he contacted me on snapchat he said we could eat together and go to his hotel. I told him that to be honest what he is looking for is not my type of thing at all but we still cool. He insisted and said he’ll give me goos s x. I did not answer and deleted him. Here is my question. I saw a video of a guy saying guys would come to certain girls because they feel that the girl is approchable bc she’s mid and would take anything while certain girls are so stunning that guys would not even dare talk to them. I am so offended by what this guy asked me because i’m not into having s x with a stranger, and for some reason he felt comfortable asking me that? does that mean i look like i’d want that? it’...

/u/Kaymish_ on What are your thoughts on The Big Bang Theory (or Young Sheldon)?

It's just a horrible show. It uses cruel "humour" to target anyone who is not the ideal "normal" person. I am one of those people who likes comics and star trek, and the absurd caricature was really quite upsetting. October 09, 2023 at 11:40PM

/u/Haunting-Truck7987 on Non-monogamy for asexuals

I'm presuming so but have no first hand knowledge. October 09, 2023 at 11:35PM

/u/Bob_N_162 on Do some ace people watch p0rn?(maybe nsfw)

Crap, wanna trade for Walt Disney's? The cia are on my tail already October 09, 2023 at 11:30PM

/u/TrebleBass0528 on Why is it that everything is about sex nowadays?

Always has been. I vented this to my uncle like 12 years ago and he told me that things were very much sexualized since before I was born, it's just more visible now because of social media. October 09, 2023 at 11:30PM

/u/SmadaSlaguod on Non-monogamy for asexuals

Is the other marriage also open, orrrr... October 09, 2023 at 11:29PM

/u/Bob_N_162 on Do some ace people watch p0rn?(maybe nsfw)

O okay October 09, 2023 at 11:27PM

I (25M) have become self destructive when things start to get serious. How to stop this? Think I know the why but feel free to add other thoughts.

I've (25M) taken a break from dating, not tried anything in over 1yr till recently. Reason being I'm pretty self destructive in the sense that at first it's all good but as soon as it starts to get more serious (going from casual dating/hanging out to starting an actual relationship) I kinda shut down, stop being interested in hangout with them/when I do find it very draining and kindo of go in a state of being very tired/lethargic/unmotivated. But only when I'm around them. Not a conscious thing, might even be initially excited that its getting more serious but then soon after (like a few days/week later) one day I just wake up and feel like that and then that's pretty much it. Thought taking a break would fix it (and I know it's cruel to the other person to try anyway knowing how I end up so didn't want to lead anyone on) but after casually talking to some people I stop (like within a couple of days of talking to them) because that "state" end...

Weekly Vents and Successes Thread - October 09, 2023

Welcome to /r/dating_advice . Please use this weekly venting/celebration thread to get something off your chest, good or bad, without asking for or offering concrete advice. All individual venting or ranting threads will be removed and directed here. Remember our rules , be sure to include ages and genders if you need help with a specific situation. Please report any rule violations using the report button. Submitted October 09, 2023 at 12:00AM Welcome to /r/dating_advice. Please use this weekly venting/celebration thread to get something off your chest, good or bad, without asking for or offering concrete advice. All individual venting or ranting threads will be removed and directed here.Remember our rules, be sure to include ages and genders if you need help with a specific situation.Please report any rule violations using the report button.

He said i love you thru text & said yes when I invited him to come with me for my close friend’s wedding

I have been seeing this guy for almost 2 yrs, I haven’t met his friends nor he met mine. Everytime we see each other, & we rarely see each other, maybe just once a month or every 2 months since he’s still studying & working plus we’re 4-5hrs away from each other, we only fuck. I was assuming the whole time we’re just fuck buddies or having casual. I know I have feelings for him & I know he isn’t the one for me, but I like his company even we don’t have any meaningful conversations nor common interests. Whenever I argue with him, he’d always say he’s not seeing or talking anyone, just way too busy especially he has financial struggles. I felt bad as there are times I feel like I’m pushing him to the edge so he’ll let me go as I don’t like what we have right now - so many uncertainties & such, but he’s just so patient towards me. One night we were having this big understanding thru text & he suddenly replied with I love you. I wish he said it in person. Plus he’s...

Do men ever regret letting someone go?

It’s painful to feel that the person you loved and thought they were the one for you let’s you slip away so easily. After all the effort and sacrifices you made to accommodate them etc.. poof just like that they don’t care if you stay or go. Submitted October 09, 2023 at 12:11AM It’s painful to feel that the person you loved and thought they were the one for you let’s you slip away so easily. After all the effort and sacrifices you made to accommodate them etc.. poof just like that they don’t care if you stay or go.

Latina possibly dating white guy. Idk if he will give me the treatment I need

We both American- I am Latina 29F and he's a white guy 27M. We matched on dating app. Last white guy I dated said, "I forgot my wallet. Can you pay." I was bummed. I am used to Latino men being more aggressive and and showing up with roses, writing me poems, dedicating me songs, paying for first dates, approaching randomly at the public places with roses. and if I don't reply to messages they text me 10 more times again and again until I reply. But I don't like the macho attitude too much. And this guy's behavior idk what to make of. I put on my profile that way to my heart was "roses."But his behavior is very lukewarm. I don't know this man going to give me what I need. I do like that he cooks. Background: I grew up with a father that has always treated me like a queen along with my mom. I've always been spoiled and pampered by my father. He cooked growing up and everything I ever wanted he provided. My every wish. He remembered every det...

/u/PeriPapershop on Aces who never feel sexual attraction but have sex, what helps in arousal?

I'm reciprosexual and autistic so he has to come on quite strong. So much so that outright demands are best, with as much explicit verbiage as possible. October 07, 2023 at 11:12PM

/u/Pretend_Broccoli6126 on Consented to sex but regret it

Mildly favorable sums up my entire sex life. October 07, 2023 at 11:10PM

/u/AlliteraryAnalysis on Aces who never feel sexual attraction but have sex, what helps in arousal?

If you have kinks, using those helps. It also helps immensely to have foreplay :) October 06, 2023 at 10:07PM

/u/moth_with_anxiety on Anyone here had fake crushes before?

Hah, I definitely did this for a bit. Just picked a random kid in middle school I found nice looking and pretended to be crushing on him. It was both so my friends would find me more normal and because I was trying to see if I could force myself to be normal. Like, maybe that's how it works, right? Maybe the others just picked a cute person and then something will click... eventually. October 05, 2023 at 10:50PM

/u/kah-not-cca on No Need to be so Judgemental

Unfortunately not an option or I would 😭 have to suffer though at least 2 more years of being in the same grad school program as him October 04, 2023 at 10:42PM

little heart broken today :)

I've been a single mother for several years now. There's a mutual acquaintance who has been in a terribly toxic marriage for quite some time. He recently confided in me that he's separated from his spouse. Over the years, I've come to know him as a genuinely kind-hearted person. I couldn't help but feel a connection with him, although I did not shared my feelings with him because I believe in healing first and I was unsure if he had healed. However, he recently mentioned that he's found someone wonderful who fulfils all his criteria. I'm genuinely happy for him, but I must admit, I felt a bit "ouch". I also wonder if it might have been wiser for him to take more time to heal and reflect after the separation from his long-term marriage. Of course, I understand that everyone's journey is unique, and it's not my place to judge. May God bless him. I just needed to share my feelings today and could use a virtual hug or two. I am ok for the m...

/u/orphiclacuna on Partner doesn't think it's "fair" that I get what I want (no or very little sex) and he doesn't get what he wants (lots of sex). Help?

Why not? I'm asking genuinely. It makes sense to me 😅 October 02, 2023 at 11:11PM

/u/lowkey_rainbow on Research Request for Self-Identifying Asexual Individuals in the United States!

“Self-identifying”. Yikes. You wouldn’t try asking ‘self-identifying’ gay people or ‘self-identifying’ straight people because you know that’s wrong. But us, gotta pathologise that shit. Maybe start by actually just treating us as adults who have a legitimate orientation? Edit: also, did this post get mod approval? Where is your ethics clearance? In fact, who is your tutor because I have half a mind to contact them about you conducting research without ethical approval plus you are clearly not keeping your data confidential if other people in these comments can see the names of your participants! October 01, 2023 at 11:12PM

/u/Klexington47 on Is a black ring on someone’s right middle finger a 100% confirmation that they’re Ace?

What brings you here? :) we're glad to have you! October 01, 2023 at 11:07PM