Woman Ended it Abruptly After 6 Dates and I’m Baffled Why

I went on 6 dates with a woman that seemed super interested and then she ended it abruptly and I’m still questioning why. Background: She was married for 5 years to a guy she dated for 8-10 years and was divorced 2-3 years ago.

The dates were going well. We were affectionate, making out and holding hands. After the 4th date we had three dates in the future planned. Then after the 5th date she asked if I wanted to come back to her place after the next date. I was excited because it seemed like this was going somewhere.

Then on the 6th date, she didn’t invite me back, and then texted to end it when I got home. She said she “wasn’t feeling the chemistry that she wants to feel.” She said I was “kind, lovely, compassionate, and endearing.”

I told her I was confused because she seemed so interested wanting to invite me back to her place. She normally rode her scooter to all of our dates, and on this date she took and Uber. She still planning right up until meeting me that night for us to go back together.

She then replied back: “If you want my total honesty it’s that sometimes you really remind me of my ex, and I keep wanting to see past it but it’s there, and it’s no one’s fault. I like you so I thought it might pass with time but it just I think is an issue for me and that’s why I feel so withholding.”

I know this is bad, but I actually found pics of her ex husband and I do look strikingly similar. In fact I was shocked when I saw his face because I see myself in him.

But if she was feeling so withholding why did she make out with me and invite me over? Maybe like she said she was trying to look past it and make it work?

The only other thing I could think of is that I didn’t get good sleep the night before and maybe I was a bit nervous during some parts. But I don’t think I was bad. I wasn’t stumbling over nervous or completely out of it tired. And I was nervous on some parts of our 5th date too, including right before she kissed me and invited me over the next date.

But I keep blaming myself thinking maybe I turned her off on that last date if she noticed I was nervous. Or maybe I wasn’t as energetic as I normally was and she couldn’t feel a connection. I’m so used to women making up excuses that I don’t know what to think anymore.

I’d appreciate your insight. Thank you!

Submitted October 17, 2023 at 12:12AM

I went on 6 dates with a woman that seemed super interested and then she ended it abruptly and I’m still questioning why. Background: She was married for 5 years to a guy she dated for 8-10 years and was divorced 2-3 years ago. The dates were going well. We were affectionate, making out and holding hands. After the 4th date we had three dates in the future planned. Then after the 5th date she asked if I wanted to come back to her place after the next date. I was excited because it seemed like this was going somewhere. Then on the 6th date, she didn’t invite me back, and then texted to end it when I got home. She said she “wasn’t feeling the chemistry that she wants to feel.” She said I was “kind, lovely, compassionate, and endearing.” I told her I was confused because she seemed so interested wanting to invite me back to her place. She normally rode her scooter to all of our dates, and on this date she took and Uber. She still planning right up until meeting me that night for us to go back together.She then replied back: “If you want my total honesty it’s that sometimes you really remind me of my ex, and I keep wanting to see past it but it’s there, and it’s no one’s fault. I like you so I thought it might pass with time but it just I think is an issue for me and that’s why I feel so withholding.” I know this is bad, but I actually found pics of her ex husband and I do look strikingly similar. In fact I was shocked when I saw his face because I see myself in him. But if she was feeling so withholding why did she make out with me and invite me over? Maybe like she said she was trying to look past it and make it work?The only other thing I could think of is that I didn’t get good sleep the night before and maybe I was a bit nervous during some parts. But I don’t think I was bad. I wasn’t stumbling over nervous or completely out of it tired. And I was nervous on some parts of our 5th date too, including right before she kissed me and invited me over the next date. But I keep blaming myself thinking maybe I turned her off on that last date if she noticed I was nervous. Or maybe I wasn’t as energetic as I normally was and she couldn’t feel a connection. I’m so used to women making up excuses that I don’t know what to think anymore.I’d appreciate your insight. Thank you!