How do you keep the faith when you feel hopeless? 29F

I've been single and actively dating for the last 2.5 years. I've been on a lot of dates (65 first dates to be exact, since May 2021). Some have turned into second and third dates, and there was one guy I dated for a few months, but nothing has turned into a committed relationship.

In my most recent experience, I went on (at least, what I thought were) 3 great dates. And after expressing a lot of interest, this guy just disappeared. I understand no one owes you anything in early dating, but 1) we were intimate and, 2) this man is 35 years old...lol. You would think he would have the maturity to send a simple text that said "hey, I enjoyed meeting you. I don't think this is a good fit" or something.

Typically, I would dust off the rejection and just keep it moving. I've been ghosted before. But for some reason, this one got to me, and I just broke down. The accumulation of trying and trying with no success, has taken its toll.

At this point in my dating journey, I feel frustrated, disappointed, hurt and mostly just exhausted. I'm trying to balance self-reflection and being (compassionately) self-critical, while also practicing patience in waiting for the right person. But I feel myself entering a dark headspace, and I'm losing my faith that a relationship is possible for me.

As much as I want to be in a serious relationship, I'm taking a break from dating and dating apps for now. I'm not sure when I'll be ready to jump back in again.

How do you convince yourself your dreams are still possible? How do you keep the faith when you feel hopeless? How do you keep going?



Submitted October 19, 2023 at 12:15AM

I've been single and actively dating for the last 2.5 years. I've been on a lot of dates (65 first dates to be exact, since May 2021). Some have turned into second and third dates, and there was one guy I dated for a few months, but nothing has turned into a committed relationship. In my most recent experience, I went on (at least, what I thought were) 3 great dates. And after expressing a lot of interest, this guy just disappeared. I understand no one owes you anything in early dating, but 1) we were intimate and, 2) this man is 35 years old...lol. You would think he would have the maturity to send a simple text that said "hey, I enjoyed meeting you. I don't think this is a good fit" or something. Typically, I would dust off the rejection and just keep it moving. I've been ghosted before. But for some reason, this one got to me, and I just broke down. The accumulation of trying and trying with no success, has taken its toll.At this point in my dating journey, I feel frustrated, disappointed, hurt and mostly just exhausted. I'm trying to balance self-reflection and being (compassionately) self-critical, while also practicing patience in waiting for the right person. But I feel myself entering a dark headspace, and I'm losing my faith that a relationship is possible for me. As much as I want to be in a serious relationship, I'm taking a break from dating and dating apps for now. I'm not sure when I'll be ready to jump back in again. How do you convince yourself your dreams are still possible? How do you keep the faith when you feel hopeless? How do you keep going?
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