Struggling with rejection

So a bit of a back story, there is me M19 and a Girl I work with F23, I’ve worked with her for just over a year when I decided to try ramp things up a bit. So we got a lot closer and she did volunteering outside of work and she convinced me to join in as well. We got quite close and I really decided that I liked her. I don’t know if it was just me in the mindset but she was getting really flirty with me which others mentioned to me as well. Said on a couple of occasions “I wish I could find a guy like you” so her saying things like that and being really flirty for the best part of a month or so really made me think that there could be something there. I’ve always struggled with my confidence in the past but I always think that I fear regret more than rejection so I went for it. Asked her out and you guessed it... got rejected. So since then I’ve been struggling a lot with my mental health. I’m just so confused, was it me misinterpreting the signs? But then again why would other people mention it to me that she’s being really flirty with me? Was it that I’m not good enough? When she rejected me she said it was because I was too young which I totally respect and understand but then I don’t understand why she acted the way she did and said the things she said, it feels like I’ve been led on, only to get embarrassed by the rejection. This is by no means against her in anyway, we still work together on the same team (kinda awkward) and things are kinda back to normal as it’s been a few weeks now so it’s not as awkward now but I can’t help thinking what did I do wrong? Sorry for the long message, this is my first time writing on this, I think partly I just needed somewhere to vent what I was thinking. Apologies if I annoy anyone 😕

TL;DR - asked a girl who is a few years older that I work with on a date. She gave me so many signs that she was interested which others picked up on and mentioned to me as well but in the end I still got rejected. What did I do wrong and what can I do different next time?



Submitted August 12, 2020 at 12:08AM

So a bit of a back story, there is me M19 and a Girl I work with F23, I’ve worked with her for just over a year when I decided to try ramp things up a bit. So we got a lot closer and she did volunteering outside of work and she convinced me to join in as well. We got quite close and I really decided that I liked her. I don’t know if it was just me in the mindset but she was getting really flirty with me which others mentioned to me as well. Said on a couple of occasions “I wish I could find a guy like you” so her saying things like that and being really flirty for the best part of a month or so really made me think that there could be something there. I’ve always struggled with my confidence in the past but I always think that I fear regret more than rejection so I went for it. Asked her out and you guessed it... got rejected. So since then I’ve been struggling a lot with my mental health. I’m just so confused, was it me misinterpreting the signs? But then again why would other people mention it to me that she’s being really flirty with me? Was it that I’m not good enough? When she rejected me she said it was because I was too young which I totally respect and understand but then I don’t understand why she acted the way she did and said the things she said, it feels like I’ve been led on, only to get embarrassed by the rejection. This is by no means against her in anyway, we still work together on the same team (kinda awkward) and things are kinda back to normal as it’s been a few weeks now so it’s not as awkward now but I can’t help thinking what did I do wrong? Sorry for the long message, this is my first time writing on this, I think partly I just needed somewhere to vent what I was thinking. Apologies if I annoy anyone 😕TL;DR - asked a girl who is a few years older that I work with on a date. She gave me so many signs that she was interested which others picked up on and mentioned to me as well but in the end I still got rejected. What did I do wrong and what can I do different next time?
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