Did I reject him too fast?

TLDR at bottom.

So there’s this guy I met at the bookstore (he works there) a couple weeks ago and we found we had some nerdy similar interests. He ended up giving me his number. We texted a little bit but I got the feeling that he wasn’t interested. Ok, fair, he probably doesn’t want to get into trouble with dating a customer.

I kept the conversations really light and asked him questions about his other interests. I found out he follows a pagan religion like me so I was really excited!! I haven’t found any other guys who shared my religious views in the past. But he just didn’t seem to share the enthusiasm over text. At this point I felt like I was the only one who was the least bit curious to ask questions or continue a conversation. I really got the impression that he wasn’t interested in anything more serious than a professional(?), distant relationship.

Well lo and behold, a couple days later and I get a text at midnight from him saying he really enjoyed our conversations over the past week (wait, really?). He said he would like to go out on a date with me. I didn’t respond until next morning, mentioning I would like to get to know him as a friend first; (just in case a relationship doesn’t work out so I don’t have to avoid going to the bookstore).

Apparently he is interested in me even though it didn’t seem like that over text; maybe I was a little quick to judge and I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. We set up a date at the park and I meet him there. He immediately launches into stories about his family and his trips to another country. Ok, wow! He’s really enthusiastic so I keep the conversation going by again asking him questions. I try to interject with some of my own experiences. He even asked me about the places I’ve been but he soon takes over the conversation again.

The date lasted a little over three and I felt like the majority of the time I was just nodding my head and going “uh huh”, “ok”. I tried my best to interject about some personal experiences or to change topics to find something to actually discuss. I think I even caught a few moments where he looked annoyed that I was talking and wanted to immediately change the topic to something he wanted to talk about.

I’m usually not a fan of talking a whole lot so I walked away from the date thinking it was kind of ok? However, later that night, I felt kinda meh about the whole thing even though we had a lot in common. The conversations didn’t flow quite the way I wanted. Honestly, I felt like I was just a pretty face with two ears. I ended up telling him that I thought we just weren’t compatible and we should just remain friends.

Also, a very subtle thing that bothered me: at the start of the date, I asked to move so that the sun wasn’t in my face. We moved, but after three+ hours, the sun moved, too. The sun was in my face again (he was still in the shade) and I even tried to give some hints I was uncomfortable, like moving up my hand to cover my face. He stared at me during that and continued talking about whatever personal story. I ended up having a headache after the date and I’m not sure if that’s because he talked the whole time or the sun was in my face.

I guess I wanted to vent but I was curious if maybe I acted too quickly. I know some guys will talk a whole lot when nervous but a couple things didn’t strike me quite right. Am I being nitpicky?

TL;DR: Guy didn’t seem at all interested in me over text. Plot twist, he wants to go on a date with me! Same guy is a lot more enthusiastic in person but he still doesn’t seem that interested in getting to know me despite having a lot of the same interests. Wondering if I rejected him too quickly after the first date...

Submitted August 11, 2020 at 11:51PM

TLDR at bottom.So there’s this guy I met at the bookstore (he works there) a couple weeks ago and we found we had some nerdy similar interests. He ended up giving me his number. We texted a little bit but I got the feeling that he wasn’t interested. Ok, fair, he probably doesn’t want to get into trouble with dating a customer.I kept the conversations really light and asked him questions about his other interests. I found out he follows a pagan religion like me so I was really excited!! I haven’t found any other guys who shared my religious views in the past. But he just didn’t seem to share the enthusiasm over text. At this point I felt like I was the only one who was the least bit curious to ask questions or continue a conversation. I really got the impression that he wasn’t interested in anything more serious than a professional(?), distant relationship.Well lo and behold, a couple days later and I get a text at midnight from him saying he really enjoyed our conversations over the past week (wait, really?). He said he would like to go out on a date with me. I didn’t respond until next morning, mentioning I would like to get to know him as a friend first; (just in case a relationship doesn’t work out so I don’t have to avoid going to the bookstore).Apparently he is interested in me even though it didn’t seem like that over text; maybe I was a little quick to judge and I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. We set up a date at the park and I meet him there. He immediately launches into stories about his family and his trips to another country. Ok, wow! He’s really enthusiastic so I keep the conversation going by again asking him questions. I try to interject with some of my own experiences. He even asked me about the places I’ve been but he soon takes over the conversation again.The date lasted a little over three and I felt like the majority of the time I was just nodding my head and going “uh huh”, “ok”. I tried my best to interject about some personal experiences or to change topics to find something to actually discuss. I think I even caught a few moments where he looked annoyed that I was talking and wanted to immediately change the topic to something he wanted to talk about.I’m usually not a fan of talking a whole lot so I walked away from the date thinking it was kind of ok? However, later that night, I felt kinda meh about the whole thing even though we had a lot in common. The conversations didn’t flow quite the way I wanted. Honestly, I felt like I was just a pretty face with two ears. I ended up telling him that I thought we just weren’t compatible and we should just remain friends.Also, a very subtle thing that bothered me: at the start of the date, I asked to move so that the sun wasn’t in my face. We moved, but after three+ hours, the sun moved, too. The sun was in my face again (he was still in the shade) and I even tried to give some hints I was uncomfortable, like moving up my hand to cover my face. He stared at me during that and continued talking about whatever personal story. I ended up having a headache after the date and I’m not sure if that’s because he talked the whole time or the sun was in my face.I guess I wanted to vent but I was curious if maybe I acted too quickly. I know some guys will talk a whole lot when nervous but a couple things didn’t strike me quite right. Am I being nitpicky?TL;DR: Guy didn’t seem at all interested in me over text. Plot twist, he wants to go on a date with me! Same guy is a lot more enthusiastic in person but he still doesn’t seem that interested in getting to know me despite having a lot of the same interests. Wondering if I rejected him too quickly after the first date...