I've (F22) asked a couple of guys out and have been rejected. Feeling a little discouraged. Any advice?

Hey all!

I guess I'm going to throw myself a bit of a pity party because I don't want my friends and family to pity me.

TL:DR I've asked three guys out and have been rejected for different reasons. I'm normally confident and outgoing but now I'm beginning to be discouraged and self-conscious.

I've just been struggling with the fact that guys I know have never taken an interest in me (besides on dating apps but that never goes very far). I'm friendly, out-going, motivated, and confident. I like to hang out with people, play games, join people in their hobbies, and the such. I'm very people-motivated. I deal with some mental illnesses but I take medication and go to therapy. It's not something I disclose to people often because I want to be able to handle it alone.

Anyway, I've never been approached by any guys which has kind of bugged me recently. I've asked a couple of guys out in the past, guys who I was friends with then developed a crush on but all three have said no for different reasons. That's alright. I got over it quickly and am still good friends with all of them so no harm was done but it has kind of discouraged me to the point where it's being to affect my usual confidence.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Am I not approachable? I've been told I'm very friendly and people feel like they can open up to me. Am I too friendly? Most of my close friends are men though I do have a few good friends who are women. I don't mind how I look, I like the way I look but now I'm beginning to think that I might be ugly or that I'm no one's type. Usually, I don't mind how I talk but not I'm thinking maybe my speech impediment is unattractive.

So I guess I'm asking how can I make myself more open without it destroying my self-confidence anymore. I like being my friendly and confident self but knowing that no one has ever had a romantic interest in me is taking its toll. I don't want to hate my body or the way I talk but I'm beginning to head down that path. Any advice you all have for me?



Submitted August 12, 2020 at 12:13AM

Hey all!I guess I'm going to throw myself a bit of a pity party because I don't want my friends and family to pity me.TL:DR I've asked three guys out and have been rejected for different reasons. I'm normally confident and outgoing but now I'm beginning to be discouraged and self-conscious.I've just been struggling with the fact that guys I know have never taken an interest in me (besides on dating apps but that never goes very far). I'm friendly, out-going, motivated, and confident. I like to hang out with people, play games, join people in their hobbies, and the such. I'm very people-motivated. I deal with some mental illnesses but I take medication and go to therapy. It's not something I disclose to people often because I want to be able to handle it alone.Anyway, I've never been approached by any guys which has kind of bugged me recently. I've asked a couple of guys out in the past, guys who I was friends with then developed a crush on but all three have said no for different reasons. That's alright. I got over it quickly and am still good friends with all of them so no harm was done but it has kind of discouraged me to the point where it's being to affect my usual confidence.I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Am I not approachable? I've been told I'm very friendly and people feel like they can open up to me. Am I too friendly? Most of my close friends are men though I do have a few good friends who are women. I don't mind how I look, I like the way I look but now I'm beginning to think that I might be ugly or that I'm no one's type. Usually, I don't mind how I talk but not I'm thinking maybe my speech impediment is unattractive.So I guess I'm asking how can I make myself more open without it destroying my self-confidence anymore. I like being my friendly and confident self but knowing that no one has ever had a romantic interest in me is taking its toll. I don't want to hate my body or the way I talk but I'm beginning to head down that path. Any advice you all have for me?
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