I (M28) hate my father for having an affair and secret child. Am I right to feel this way?

Am I right to hate my Dad for having a secret child.

I’m 28 years old now. When I was about 14 I started noticing signs that my dad was having an affair. Overheard phone calls, saw texts, away on “business trips”....This went on for years before I finally lost it and called him out for it in front of my mom around age 17. He completely denied it, my parents had a long talk and my mom basically told me that I was overthinking it all and that she believes him and I have to apologize to him.

Fast forward to when I was about 26 I found out that my dad has a secret child and so I confronted them again about it but still denial. He ends up telling me this bs story that he was caring for a coworkers kid that lost his father and he became like a father to him.

My entire adult life I have never had any respect for him for what I know he has done. Any time he would get mad at me for even the smallest thing I would lose it because I felt he had no right to be mad at me for anything when he knows I know what he did. I have always had relationship and trust issues which I am now realizing are caused by my childhood. It has gotten to the point now that I don’t want anything to do with him anymore.

I know he feels terrible about what he’s done and he is always trying to improve our relationship but I just can never get over it. I always end up fighting with him.

Am I right to feel this way about my own father? Would it be so terrible to just push him out of my life at this point?

TLDR; I hate my father for having an affair and secret child. Am I right to feel this way? Should o push him out of my life?

Submitted August 12, 2020 at 12:05AM

Am I right to hate my Dad for having a secret child.I’m 28 years old now. When I was about 14 I started noticing signs that my dad was having an affair. Overheard phone calls, saw texts, away on “business trips”....This went on for years before I finally lost it and called him out for it in front of my mom around age 17. He completely denied it, my parents had a long talk and my mom basically told me that I was overthinking it all and that she believes him and I have to apologize to him.Fast forward to when I was about 26 I found out that my dad has a secret child and so I confronted them again about it but still denial. He ends up telling me this bs story that he was caring for a coworkers kid that lost his father and he became like a father to him.My entire adult life I have never had any respect for him for what I know he has done. Any time he would get mad at me for even the smallest thing I would lose it because I felt he had no right to be mad at me for anything when he knows I know what he did. I have always had relationship and trust issues which I am now realizing are caused by my childhood. It has gotten to the point now that I don’t want anything to do with him anymore.I know he feels terrible about what he’s done and he is always trying to improve our relationship but I just can never get over it. I always end up fighting with him.Am I right to feel this way about my own father? Would it be so terrible to just push him out of my life at this point?TLDR; I hate my father for having an affair and secret child. Am I right to feel this way? Should o push him out of my life?