I Need Help Ending My Relationship, How Should I Do It? (M/23, F/19)

Hello, I met this guy December 2018 and we immediately fell for eachother. I was very shy and a virgin, so it was new to me. We had a physical relationship right away and started to hang out a lot. I really loved and cared for him and was so loyal the only guy in my phone/social media was him.

He did a lot to me including stealing my money, gambling with the money that I gave him, cheated on me with a 15 year old girl and went to jail for it, cheated on me multiple times even the night he took my virginity, blocks and unblocks me everytime he gets annoyed by me, etc. There is a lot.

In May 2019, I found out he had been seeing this girl long before we met. She is a virgin and they had never done anything physical, it's an emotional relationship. I chose to message her a brief and short message telling her the truth about him. She was so rude to me, blamed me, denied the truth even with picture/video evidence. I didn't know what happened to them after that, but three days later he called me wanting to continue our relationship.

This week, I met a lady at my job and we were talking casually about our relationships. I told her about my boyfriend and about how he was gonna pick me up that night and that we had gotten a hotel room for my birthday among other things. The lady knew the girl that I had told last year about him. They are friends and apparently and she told her that I am still seeing my boyfriend. She got really mad at me and wanted to talk to me on the phone, which I refused to do. She was so rude last time and denied all truth I told, so I did not feel comfortable doing so. Apparently this girl has been obsessed with him for years, thinks they're going to get married even when he dislikes the idea of marriage and isn't loyal to her, comes to his job to see if he's there, constantly calls him on the phone and even became close with his family to get details on him. The lady who is close friends with her told me all of this.

The girl apparently got very mad at him and told him everything about us. He messaged me in the middle of a normal conversation we were having very worried and upset. He said please don't talk to anyone about us and to forget about it. I am trying to, but I can't continue on with him like this. If he has this obsessive girl in his life I don't want to be part of it. What should I do, how do I end it? Do I message or call the girl? Do I message or call him a goodbye without messaging her? Do I try to meet in person and say goodbye? I'm really sad and confused.

TL;DR How do I end my first ever relationship in the most healthy mature way I can that will give me the least amount of heartbreak?

Submitted March 30, 2020 at 12:14AM

Hello, I met this guy December 2018 and we immediately fell for eachother. I was very shy and a virgin, so it was new to me. We had a physical relationship right away and started to hang out a lot. I really loved and cared for him and was so loyal the only guy in my phone/social media was him.He did a lot to me including stealing my money, gambling with the money that I gave him, cheated on me with a 15 year old girl and went to jail for it, cheated on me multiple times even the night he took my virginity, blocks and unblocks me everytime he gets annoyed by me, etc. There is a lot.In May 2019, I found out he had been seeing this girl long before we met. She is a virgin and they had never done anything physical, it's an emotional relationship. I chose to message her a brief and short message telling her the truth about him. She was so rude to me, blamed me, denied the truth even with picture/video evidence. I didn't know what happened to them after that, but three days later he called me wanting to continue our relationship.This week, I met a lady at my job and we were talking casually about our relationships. I told her about my boyfriend and about how he was gonna pick me up that night and that we had gotten a hotel room for my birthday among other things. The lady knew the girl that I had told last year about him. They are friends and apparently and she told her that I am still seeing my boyfriend. She got really mad at me and wanted to talk to me on the phone, which I refused to do. She was so rude last time and denied all truth I told, so I did not feel comfortable doing so. Apparently this girl has been obsessed with him for years, thinks they're going to get married even when he dislikes the idea of marriage and isn't loyal to her, comes to his job to see if he's there, constantly calls him on the phone and even became close with his family to get details on him. The lady who is close friends with her told me all of this.The girl apparently got very mad at him and told him everything about us. He messaged me in the middle of a normal conversation we were having very worried and upset. He said please don't talk to anyone about us and to forget about it. I am trying to, but I can't continue on with him like this. If he has this obsessive girl in his life I don't want to be part of it. What should I do, how do I end it? Do I message or call the girl? Do I message or call him a goodbye without messaging her? Do I try to meet in person and say goodbye? I'm really sad and confused.TL;DR How do I end my first ever relationship in the most healthy mature way I can that will give me the least amount of heartbreak?