19 M really really conflicted looking for advice on if I should reach out to this girl that I really like or not. This is gonna be long but would appreciate advice because I don't have anyone else to ask for help.

So, this needs a lot of backstory. Me and this girl met this summer at a graduation party. It was a terrible time to meet because a week after meeting she went on vacation, and right as she got back, I went on vacation. Right after that, we both had to leave for college, but we had enough time to go on one date type thing. I really thought that it was gonna die out right away because we were both freshmen at different schools (though they were relatively close in distance). However, we continued to speak everyday. It evolved from just snapchatting to also texting all day long. It was pretty clear we were flirting.

In October, I invited her to come to my school for a day, and she came. The day was genuinely great; however, I really fucked up when I tried to have a conversation about what we were. Though I don't really get around too much, I was fine continuing to talk without defining anything, but because I was so ill prepared for the conversation that I begun (I know I'm stupid), I didn't know how to say that without sounding like a douche, so I didn't-- i just tried to get her to say what she wanted. The conversation was really clunky and it ended up with her saying let's be exclusive. I agreed no problem because I really liked her and if that was what she wanted, I didn't want to throw away my first shot at something serious with a girl. Though it wasn't my first choice, I was okay with it because it confirmed to me that something would happen between us in the future. Yet, a week later I could tell she was acting weird, and she called me saying she thought we rushed into exclusivity. Since I thought the same, I was fine just moving on and forgetting it ever happened. She said she still saw us getting serious in the future, so I was good with it, but this moment obviously spooked her. I spent a lot of time explaining this because its important. I should have handled the conversation better because if I said what I wanted in the first place there wouldn't have been an issue.

We continued talking every day, and I thought everything was really going well when she asked me out during Thanksgiving break. I thought the date went pretty well, and at the end, she said we would spend more time together during Christmas break. A few days after we got back to school, I basically got radio silence from her-- I knew something was wrong again. We were still snapchatting but just like pictures back and forth, but we went like a week without texting. We had rarely gone a day without texting. I asked her what if there was something wrong, and she kinda like blew up on me saying she didn't know what she wanted anymore and that she would really like to talk during Christmas break. The writing was on the wall.

During Christmas break, she was really busy and then got in trouble, so we never ended up speaking in person, but we texted about what happened. According to her, the distance became too much of an issue, and because of that, we were rushing things since we rarely got to see each other. I completely agreed with her on that and looking back on it any relationship at that time would have been waaay to rushed. I told her I really cared about her and that I wanted her to be happy, so I said based off of what she said the last time we spoke that maybe we should give each other space during our second semester and stop talking for awhile. I also asked for myself if we could stop snapchatting so I could more easily stop thinking about her. It was a very respectful conversation and I feel like we ended on pretty good terms.

However, now its almost 3 months since we have last spoken. I think about her pretty often. What I failed to ask her in the conversation is that if she would want to try things again in the summer if we were both single. We're now both home for the rest of the school year, and I really want to text her again. I know I probably shouldn't, but I don't want to throw away a chance with a girl who I obviously had great chemistry with. We met a terrible time so it made things between us basically impossible.

Now, the advice I need is how would you recommend that I message her if I were to? I know why it may be dumb to text her, but assuming I do text her, what would you say? Also, I’m not sure if I should text her now because our town is kinda on lockdown so if I do we would probs not be able to see each other for awhile. My fear is I may bother her, but I really wanna give this another chance. It was good to have a semster apart, but it made me realize how much I really wanted to give things with her another chance.

TLDR: Me and this girl got really close first semester, but because of distance, things kinda fell apart. Ik its dumb to text her, but I really want to reach out to her, so what would you recommend I say?

Submitted March 29, 2020 at 11:54PM

So, this needs a lot of backstory. Me and this girl met this summer at a graduation party. It was a terrible time to meet because a week after meeting she went on vacation, and right as she got back, I went on vacation. Right after that, we both had to leave for college, but we had enough time to go on one date type thing. I really thought that it was gonna die out right away because we were both freshmen at different schools (though they were relatively close in distance). However, we continued to speak everyday. It evolved from just snapchatting to also texting all day long. It was pretty clear we were flirting.In October, I invited her to come to my school for a day, and she came. The day was genuinely great; however, I really fucked up when I tried to have a conversation about what we were. Though I don't really get around too much, I was fine continuing to talk without defining anything, but because I was so ill prepared for the conversation that I begun (I know I'm stupid), I didn't know how to say that without sounding like a douche, so I didn't-- i just tried to get her to say what she wanted. The conversation was really clunky and it ended up with her saying let's be exclusive. I agreed no problem because I really liked her and if that was what she wanted, I didn't want to throw away my first shot at something serious with a girl. Though it wasn't my first choice, I was okay with it because it confirmed to me that something would happen between us in the future. Yet, a week later I could tell she was acting weird, and she called me saying she thought we rushed into exclusivity. Since I thought the same, I was fine just moving on and forgetting it ever happened. She said she still saw us getting serious in the future, so I was good with it, but this moment obviously spooked her. I spent a lot of time explaining this because its important. I should have handled the conversation better because if I said what I wanted in the first place there wouldn't have been an issue.We continued talking every day, and I thought everything was really going well when she asked me out during Thanksgiving break. I thought the date went pretty well, and at the end, she said we would spend more time together during Christmas break. A few days after we got back to school, I basically got radio silence from her-- I knew something was wrong again. We were still snapchatting but just like pictures back and forth, but we went like a week without texting. We had rarely gone a day without texting. I asked her what if there was something wrong, and she kinda like blew up on me saying she didn't know what she wanted anymore and that she would really like to talk during Christmas break. The writing was on the wall.During Christmas break, she was really busy and then got in trouble, so we never ended up speaking in person, but we texted about what happened. According to her, the distance became too much of an issue, and because of that, we were rushing things since we rarely got to see each other. I completely agreed with her on that and looking back on it any relationship at that time would have been waaay to rushed. I told her I really cared about her and that I wanted her to be happy, so I said based off of what she said the last time we spoke that maybe we should give each other space during our second semester and stop talking for awhile. I also asked for myself if we could stop snapchatting so I could more easily stop thinking about her. It was a very respectful conversation and I feel like we ended on pretty good terms.However, now its almost 3 months since we have last spoken. I think about her pretty often. What I failed to ask her in the conversation is that if she would want to try things again in the summer if we were both single. We're now both home for the rest of the school year, and I really want to text her again. I know I probably shouldn't, but I don't want to throw away a chance with a girl who I obviously had great chemistry with. We met a terrible time so it made things between us basically impossible.Now, the advice I need is how would you recommend that I message her if I were to? I know why it may be dumb to text her, but assuming I do text her, what would you say? Also, I’m not sure if I should text her now because our town is kinda on lockdown so if I do we would probs not be able to see each other for awhile. My fear is I may bother her, but I really wanna give this another chance. It was good to have a semster apart, but it made me realize how much I really wanted to give things with her another chance.TLDR: Me and this girl got really close first semester, but because of distance, things kinda fell apart. Ik its dumb to text her, but I really want to reach out to her, so what would you recommend I say?