Why can’t I find a girlfriend? Is something wrong with me? 21 M

I can’t believe I’m doing this but I seriously need some advice. I’m 21 years old, in college and never even held a girl’s hand before. During high school I guess you could say that I was socially awkward, didn’t have many friends other then some people that I played sports with, even then girls made attempts to talk to me, sit by me, and one even tried to claim me as her bf lol. I have a lot of regrets from that time, I especially regret not asking out one girl I was very much in love with, even after she was giving me signals such as saying hi all the time, wanting me to sit by her, and even asking if I have a girlfriend. I know that I can’t change the past but I feel like it keeps affecting me to this day. After high school I only had the courage to ask a girl out once and got a apprehensive “maybe” , I didn’t ask again. I still live at home with my parents, and the career path that I chose means that I’ll only start making a decent salary in my 30’s , if successful. My relationship with my parents is also strained, they keep bringing up the fact that there’s something wrong with me because I have no friends, and my father even told me that “no one will ever want to be with me.” Needless to say this situation caused some emotional issues, I developed anxiety and some depression. Basically I feel like I have no one to talk to, and that no one cares. Even my doctor keeps asking me to find a girlfriend and to go on dates as that would help my emotional state. The problem is that I have never been on a date before, and I get real anxiety at the thought of asking a girl out, even though I really want to. I tried tinder, but online dating feels sort of superficial and fake to me. And since I don’t live on campus, I don’t have many connections with people at my school, and I don’t feel like I have any chemistry with most of the girls in my current classes. I also get the feeling that if I ask a girl out I’m just wasting her time, and that she’s not interested in me anyway. Even though I’m worried that I’m just ugly, I don’t think my appearance is the problem as I’m 6’3 and fairly athletic. Random people also have told me that I’m handsome and “must be getting dates” which hurts even more as the reality is far different. Personality wise like I said I’m shy and prone to being a “nice guy.” I just don’t know what to do to improve my situation, if I see a random girl I’m interested in is it really appropriate to just go talk to her? I just feel like I’m wasting my life and the rest of my younger years being alone and depressed. I’m even starting to lose motivation for my schoolwork because of this. Any good advice would be appreciated as I basically have little social skills at the moment when it comes to having relationships.

Tl, dr : I’m 21, in college and have never been in a relationship. Still live with my parents, get very anxious at the thought of asking a girl out. Need advice.

Submitted November 03, 2019 at 11:54PM

I can’t believe I’m doing this but I seriously need some advice. I’m 21 years old, in college and never even held a girl’s hand before. During high school I guess you could say that I was socially awkward, didn’t have many friends other then some people that I played sports with, even then girls made attempts to talk to me, sit by me, and one even tried to claim me as her bf lol. I have a lot of regrets from that time, I especially regret not asking out one girl I was very much in love with, even after she was giving me signals such as saying hi all the time, wanting me to sit by her, and even asking if I have a girlfriend. I know that I can’t change the past but I feel like it keeps affecting me to this day. After high school I only had the courage to ask a girl out once and got a apprehensive “maybe” , I didn’t ask again. I still live at home with my parents, and the career path that I chose means that I’ll only start making a decent salary in my 30’s , if successful. My relationship with my parents is also strained, they keep bringing up the fact that there’s something wrong with me because I have no friends, and my father even told me that “no one will ever want to be with me.” Needless to say this situation caused some emotional issues, I developed anxiety and some depression. Basically I feel like I have no one to talk to, and that no one cares. Even my doctor keeps asking me to find a girlfriend and to go on dates as that would help my emotional state. The problem is that I have never been on a date before, and I get real anxiety at the thought of asking a girl out, even though I really want to. I tried tinder, but online dating feels sort of superficial and fake to me. And since I don’t live on campus, I don’t have many connections with people at my school, and I don’t feel like I have any chemistry with most of the girls in my current classes. I also get the feeling that if I ask a girl out I’m just wasting her time, and that she’s not interested in me anyway. Even though I’m worried that I’m just ugly, I don’t think my appearance is the problem as I’m 6’3 and fairly athletic. Random people also have told me that I’m handsome and “must be getting dates” which hurts even more as the reality is far different. Personality wise like I said I’m shy and prone to being a “nice guy.” I just don’t know what to do to improve my situation, if I see a random girl I’m interested in is it really appropriate to just go talk to her? I just feel like I’m wasting my life and the rest of my younger years being alone and depressed. I’m even starting to lose motivation for my schoolwork because of this. Any good advice would be appreciated as I basically have little social skills at the moment when it comes to having relationships.Tl, dr : I’m 21, in college and have never been in a relationship. Still live with my parents, get very anxious at the thought of asking a girl out. Need advice.