I (21F) can't seem to hold down partnerships for the life of me. My self esteem is really taking a hit.

Hello all, before I start this I'd like to formally state that I know this is a ridiculous and stupid problem but it's really been murdering my self esteem.

At the start of the year I was in the prime of my life, I was fit, in great mental standing, and had just moved to a new country. All was truly in my favor and I even viewed my losses as just natural step leading to my next win. Throughout the course of the year however my self esteem began to take massive hits in the shape of lifestyle insecurity and general decision making, stuff I know is natural to 20-something-year-olds but was really rough nonetheless.

Through this year I've seen a lot of people. I love monogamy, and I felt that I was in a place to finally date again after a two year break to focus on myself. I knowww how this is going to come across but I've been fortunate enough to court every person I've been interested in this year to some capacity. I know that this could be a positive thing to most, but the problem is that after we share a series of intimate moments, I start falling for them and I am ALWAYS quickly hit with the "I don't want a relationship right now" or "you're great!!! But not for me". I've started to take it really personally as I cannot relate with this sentiment and I just know what I want in life right now (or so I thought), so its a little daunting that after the 5th person that came along without any expectations I keep on hearing the same stories. Naturally I've begun to take it quite personally.

I don't know..right now life seems like a big i dont know. Career wise, life wise, and the only thing I had was my self esteem that I worked so damn hard to build and now because of external factors but also this I just really feel like life is handing me an ass whooping. Do any of you have any advice as to how to not take these losses so personally and learn to enjoy myself and dating synonymously?

**TL;DR*\* I've been fortunate enough to have shared experiences with many wonderful people this year, but the fact that no one wants to stay for a relationship is really hurting my already crumbled self esteem during an already difficult period of my life. I want to become optimistic and proactive in both fields. Do any of you have any advice as to how to not take these losses so personally and learn to enjoy myself and dating synonymously?



Submitted November 03, 2019 at 11:50PM

Hello all, before I start this I'd like to formally state that I know this is a ridiculous and stupid problem but it's really been murdering my self esteem.At the start of the year I was in the prime of my life, I was fit, in great mental standing, and had just moved to a new country. All was truly in my favor and I even viewed my losses as just natural step leading to my next win. Throughout the course of the year however my self esteem began to take massive hits in the shape of lifestyle insecurity and general decision making, stuff I know is natural to 20-something-year-olds but was really rough nonetheless.Through this year I've seen a lot of people. I love monogamy, and I felt that I was in a place to finally date again after a two year break to focus on myself. I knowww how this is going to come across but I've been fortunate enough to court every person I've been interested in this year to some capacity. I know that this could be a positive thing to most, but the problem is that after we share a series of intimate moments, I start falling for them and I am ALWAYS quickly hit with the "I don't want a relationship right now" or "you're great!!! But not for me". I've started to take it really personally as I cannot relate with this sentiment and I just know what I want in life right now (or so I thought), so its a little daunting that after the 5th person that came along without any expectations I keep on hearing the same stories. Naturally I've begun to take it quite personally.I don't know..right now life seems like a big i dont know. Career wise, life wise, and the only thing I had was my self esteem that I worked so damn hard to build and now because of external factors but also this I just really feel like life is handing me an ass whooping. Do any of you have any advice as to how to not take these losses so personally and learn to enjoy myself and dating synonymously?**TL;DR*\* I've been fortunate enough to have shared experiences with many wonderful people this year, but the fact that no one wants to stay for a relationship is really hurting my already crumbled self esteem during an already difficult period of my life. I want to become optimistic and proactive in both fields. Do any of you have any advice as to how to not take these losses so personally and learn to enjoy myself and dating synonymously?
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