My (54M) son (22M) and his wife (20F) treat me with no respect and I am at my wits end

First off let me start by saying I love my son and have done as much to help him out in life as I can.

It started when he lost his scholarship, and went downhill from there. He met a girl and got her pregnant, so they got married. Fine. Her parents kicked her out at 18 over this and an unrelated misdemeanor charge, and they had no place to go so we offered to let them stay, rent free. Baby and all. I really tried to believe this was a wake up call and that they were going to button up. I let my daughter in law call me on a first name basis because I wanted to believe that my son and her were equal adults and they just had a rough beginning to adult life.

It's now been over a year and it feels like freeloading. These are not equal adults, these are children and they behave like it. I don't see any serious plans for them moving out. I have enough problems of my own, MS being a huge one. I've been annoyed for a while now, especially that they act like equals here when I pay for all the bills. I recently brought up to my son that I would prefer if his wife calls me "Mr. [x]" because I want the dynamic to change. He called me a narcissist, which is ironic given how he treats me and this house.

I just don't know what to do here and I'm at my wits end. The name thing isn't the biggest deal but they way he reacted is really ticking me off. To me it's like try being a responsible adult and then we can be equals again. Am I being unreasonable?

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tl;dr Son and his wife and daughter live in my house rent free, are disrespectful and do not behave like adults. I want the dynamic to change and son is fighting me on it.



Submitted November 24, 2019 at 11:59PM

First off let me start by saying I love my son and have done as much to help him out in life as I can.It started when he lost his scholarship, and went downhill from there. He met a girl and got her pregnant, so they got married. Fine. Her parents kicked her out at 18 over this and an unrelated misdemeanor charge, and they had no place to go so we offered to let them stay, rent free. Baby and all. I really tried to believe this was a wake up call and that they were going to button up. I let my daughter in law call me on a first name basis because I wanted to believe that my son and her were equal adults and they just had a rough beginning to adult life.It's now been over a year and it feels like freeloading. These are not equal adults, these are children and they behave like it. I don't see any serious plans for them moving out. I have enough problems of my own, MS being a huge one. I've been annoyed for a while now, especially that they act like equals here when I pay for all the bills. I recently brought up to my son that I would prefer if his wife calls me "Mr. [x]" because I want the dynamic to change. He called me a narcissist, which is ironic given how he treats me and this house.I just don't know what to do here and I'm at my wits end. The name thing isn't the biggest deal but they way he reacted is really ticking me off. To me it's like try being a responsible adult and then we can be equals again. Am I being unreasonable?​tl;dr Son and his wife and daughter live in my house rent free, are disrespectful and do not behave like adults. I want the dynamic to change and son is fighting me on it.
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