Ex of 10 years/Rebound(?)/Failed Friendship

I have a friend who I've known for a long time. We immediately clicked, however, we were both in very serious relationships with other people so we never crossed any lines, although we both admitted to having feelings for each other. I've been single for about...five months and he broke up with his ex about two months it was a decade long relationship. About one month ago we were drinking and we started to kiss. Since then our friendship has drastically changed. He said he couldn't commit to me (but he wasn't rejecting me) because he needed time to grieve his past relationship. Here's where it gets fucked up.

I'm fine with being just friends. He was the best male friend I ever had, however, since we crossed these lines he's been more distant, and withdrawn from me. We don't communicate the way we used to. He's in his head more as well, he says he has a lot of guilt and sometimes he's gone as far as to say he wished he had never met me. But when we're together, he says he loves me (he initiated it, not me), he says I'm his dream girl, that he didn't think this type of relationship was possible. And we aren't fucking, I mean we've done certain things, but it's mostly PG stuff for 95% of the time we're together, like high school make out sessions. Anyway, he's just dipped again and I don't know how to handle this. Somehow what seemed like what could have been a fantastic relationship has morphed into me losing one of my best friends.

So, my main question, because I'm at a loss. Is why the hell would you initiate and go after a person who was perfectly content staying just friends, tell them you love them, discuss the future with them, if you didn't want that? I thought our friendship (and me) meant more to him but I guess not?

Has anyone been in anything like this and could offer any advice?

**TL;DR; : I had a best friend who was all about me until we caught the feels and were both available and now he's hot and cold.**



Submitted November 24, 2019 at 11:58PM

I have a friend who I've known for a long time. We immediately clicked, however, we were both in very serious relationships with other people so we never crossed any lines, although we both admitted to having feelings for each other. I've been single for about...five months and he broke up with his ex about two months it was a decade long relationship. About one month ago we were drinking and we started to kiss. Since then our friendship has drastically changed. He said he couldn't commit to me (but he wasn't rejecting me) because he needed time to grieve his past relationship. Here's where it gets fucked up.I'm fine with being just friends. He was the best male friend I ever had, however, since we crossed these lines he's been more distant, and withdrawn from me. We don't communicate the way we used to. He's in his head more as well, he says he has a lot of guilt and sometimes he's gone as far as to say he wished he had never met me. But when we're together, he says he loves me (he initiated it, not me), he says I'm his dream girl, that he didn't think this type of relationship was possible. And we aren't fucking, I mean we've done certain things, but it's mostly PG stuff for 95% of the time we're together, like high school make out sessions. Anyway, he's just dipped again and I don't know how to handle this. Somehow what seemed like what could have been a fantastic relationship has morphed into me losing one of my best friends.So, my main question, because I'm at a loss. Is why the hell would you initiate and go after a person who was perfectly content staying just friends, tell them you love them, discuss the future with them, if you didn't want that? I thought our friendship (and me) meant more to him but I guess not?Has anyone been in anything like this and could offer any advice?**TL;DR; : I had a best friend who was all about me until we caught the feels and were both available and now he's hot and cold.**
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