I want out. Without her killing herself.

TL;DR Girl I have feelings for turns out to be a paranoid, anxiety driven suicidal mess. How do I get out.

At first, I thought I was in an amazing relationship. She was emotionally available, bubbly and we shared a lot in common. We really enjoyed our company. Sexually she's always up for it. Perfect girl huh? Well, I got to know her a bit better, and I realized there was something that wasn't right. Those weren't just random little cuts. Inside of thighs, arms, so many scars on her wrist. She was extremely hesitant to talk about it and eventually fessed up to admitting she's getting counselling and help. She's also on a lot of medication for that PLUS with Bipolar personality disorder.

She's talked through a lot of it as she's gotten relaxed with me. However, she isn't just relaxed with me at this point, she's obsessed with me. Clingy, needy, anxious if I don't message her soon enough. If I don't message her for a day she will be convinced I'm never going to talk to her again. Massive abandonment anxieties. Quite literally, I am her life, all she thinks about, all she dreams about, all she lives about. Every morning and every night my phone is flooded with a constant stream of hearts and how are you stuff. It's like endless reassurance is required. Call me an idiot (yes I deserve it) but I've been going with the flow, but now I'm starting to slow down as inevitably I can't keep up with the pace. I'm mentally drained now. It's gone way out of control. She's construing this as her not trying hard enough to grab my attention so she's redoubled her efforts. Lose-lose.

Thing is, I do have feelings for her (I'm convinced if I didn't I wouldn't have written this and I would have just ghosted her by now)

So my question is, what to do? How can I edge out of her or get her off me. I mean, I'd totally be up for keeping her in my life but just as 'Friends'. But I know that's impossible with this type of girl. I could grow a pair, 'man' up and I tell her to go hike, she simply will not cope at all (her life is fucked up in other ways and I'm literally the only good thing going for her) so it's not going to end well if I try that. As and someone I still do have some feelings for, I don't want to worsen their situation. Yet at the same time I don't want to be carrying on and prolonging this painful, desperate and sad short lived relationship (2-3 months) It hurts, but I need help and advice, please.



Submitted November 04, 2019 at 11:32PM

TL;DR Girl I have feelings for turns out to be a paranoid, anxiety driven suicidal mess. How do I get out.At first, I thought I was in an amazing relationship. She was emotionally available, bubbly and we shared a lot in common. We really enjoyed our company. Sexually she's always up for it. Perfect girl huh? Well, I got to know her a bit better, and I realized there was something that wasn't right. Those weren't just random little cuts. Inside of thighs, arms, so many scars on her wrist. She was extremely hesitant to talk about it and eventually fessed up to admitting she's getting counselling and help. She's also on a lot of medication for that PLUS with Bipolar personality disorder.She's talked through a lot of it as she's gotten relaxed with me. However, she isn't just relaxed with me at this point, she's obsessed with me. Clingy, needy, anxious if I don't message her soon enough. If I don't message her for a day she will be convinced I'm never going to talk to her again. Massive abandonment anxieties. Quite literally, I am her life, all she thinks about, all she dreams about, all she lives about. Every morning and every night my phone is flooded with a constant stream of hearts and how are you stuff. It's like endless reassurance is required. Call me an idiot (yes I deserve it) but I've been going with the flow, but now I'm starting to slow down as inevitably I can't keep up with the pace. I'm mentally drained now. It's gone way out of control. She's construing this as her not trying hard enough to grab my attention so she's redoubled her efforts. Lose-lose.Thing is, I do have feelings for her (I'm convinced if I didn't I wouldn't have written this and I would have just ghosted her by now)So my question is, what to do? How can I edge out of her or get her off me. I mean, I'd totally be up for keeping her in my life but just as 'Friends'. But I know that's impossible with this type of girl. I could grow a pair, 'man' up and I tell her to go hike, she simply will not cope at all (her life is fucked up in other ways and I'm literally the only good thing going for her) so it's not going to end well if I try that. As and someone I still do have some feelings for, I don't want to worsen their situation. Yet at the same time I don't want to be carrying on and prolonging this painful, desperate and sad short lived relationship (2-3 months) It hurts, but I need help and advice, please.
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