Will I ever not say the wrong thing?

Throwaway.

​

Tl;dr I feel like what I say is often taken to have deeper meaning.

I've been with my husband for 10 years, married for six. There's a lot of stuff, and in general I'm happy in our relationship. However, every once in a while we have a conversation where my husband seems to take what I'm saying and, instead of taking it at face value, "reading between the lines" and accusing me of things. Once it led to him telling me I was a bigot. We fought for several hours, in which I agreed with him, and said that I get why someone might want to choose what their kids learned instead of trusting public educators, who in my experience don't always care about facts, to teach their kids. But no matter what I said, he kept asking why I hated LGBTQ people, which I don't.

There have been other instances of ranging caliber, but I guess my question is, is there a way for me to talk to him about this? I hate fighting and any voice raising, makes me feel physically ill and I start panicking (another issue for another time xD), and I would like to present it in a way that didn't necessarily lead to a fight.



Submitted September 08, 2019 at 12:04AM

Throwaway.​Tl;dr I feel like what I say is often taken to have deeper meaning.I've been with my husband for 10 years, married for six. There's a lot of stuff, and in general I'm happy in our relationship. However, every once in a while we have a conversation where my husband seems to take what I'm saying and, instead of taking it at face value, "reading between the lines" and accusing me of things. Once it led to him telling me I was a bigot. We fought for several hours, in which I agreed with him, and said that I get why someone might want to choose what their kids learned instead of trusting public educators, who in my experience don't always care about facts, to teach their kids. But no matter what I said, he kept asking why I hated LGBTQ people, which I don't.There have been other instances of ranging caliber, but I guess my question is, is there a way for me to talk to him about this? I hate fighting and any voice raising, makes me feel physically ill and I start panicking (another issue for another time xD), and I would like to present it in a way that didn't necessarily lead to a fight.
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