My [22F] bf [25M] of 3 yrs said he was embarrassed to be with someone as stupid as me

We've had issues in the past regarding being respectful and not insulting that I thought we had worked through but our recent fight has left me quite conflicted.

I need to give some background to what caused the argument first

I'm staying with my family at the moment and have been looking at shared accomodation to move out on my own. My bf Jack lives too far from my work so its not practical for us to live together and this isnt the problem.

I was in the process of organizing a place and was dealing with the person on the lease. Long story short, I had some issues with how the landlord delt with some minor requests even though i felt i had offered few options he was quite rigid and fixated so I didnt think longterm he would be good to deal with and decided I didnt want to move in.

I was on the phone with jack and told him the situation, and he asked that I dont send any messages to the place but I felt that would be rude and thought I'd let them know I wasnt moving due to how the landlord acted. Wasnt a long rant just a brief text to inform them.

Welp Jack got pissed off at me for reasons I dont quite understand. Started insulting me and calling me names. That I was an idiot to waste time sending a text to them.

I got upset and told Jack that this didnt impact him at all and if I was wasting time, I was wasting my own time and it didn't warrant the insults.

His response ? It impacts him because hes embarrassed to be dating someone as stupid as me. Someone who didnt value their own time enough to waste time on such things.

I told him to then walk away I wasn't forcing him to stay. He tells me to Shut the f up. I reminded him that this was incredibly disreptful and wasn't okay. That i wasnt okay with being insulted like this and that he had promised before this wouldnt happen again and i wouldn't be tolerating it.

He immediately hangs up on me and doesn't answer my calls. I tell him we are over if he doesnt pick up. He picks up and tells me he won't hang up but will not be talking/will be going downstairs and leaving his phone in his room.

I hung up the phone and this is where Im at.

Im quite torn and conflicted at the moment. On one hand Ive been reading about how we are becoming to demanding of our partners/relationships and on the other I think everyone deserves to be treated with respect at minimum and Jack is unable to when hes angry.

Should I just end things myself or am I overreacting. I can be a bit emotional so im not really sure

Tl;dr bf insults me and calls me stupid for sending a text to cancel a pre arranged move in

Submitted September 07, 2019 at 11:58PM

We've had issues in the past regarding being respectful and not insulting that I thought we had worked through but our recent fight has left me quite conflicted.I need to give some background to what caused the argument firstI'm staying with my family at the moment and have been looking at shared accomodation to move out on my own. My bf Jack lives too far from my work so its not practical for us to live together and this isnt the problem.I was in the process of organizing a place and was dealing with the person on the lease. Long story short, I had some issues with how the landlord delt with some minor requests even though i felt i had offered few options he was quite rigid and fixated so I didnt think longterm he would be good to deal with and decided I didnt want to move in.I was on the phone with jack and told him the situation, and he asked that I dont send any messages to the place but I felt that would be rude and thought I'd let them know I wasnt moving due to how the landlord acted. Wasnt a long rant just a brief text to inform them.Welp Jack got pissed off at me for reasons I dont quite understand. Started insulting me and calling me names. That I was an idiot to waste time sending a text to them.I got upset and told Jack that this didnt impact him at all and if I was wasting time, I was wasting my own time and it didn't warrant the insults.His response ? It impacts him because hes embarrassed to be dating someone as stupid as me. Someone who didnt value their own time enough to waste time on such things.I told him to then walk away I wasn't forcing him to stay. He tells me to Shut the f up. I reminded him that this was incredibly disreptful and wasn't okay. That i wasnt okay with being insulted like this and that he had promised before this wouldnt happen again and i wouldn't be tolerating it.He immediately hangs up on me and doesn't answer my calls. I tell him we are over if he doesnt pick up. He picks up and tells me he won't hang up but will not be talking/will be going downstairs and leaving his phone in his room.I hung up the phone and this is where Im at.Im quite torn and conflicted at the moment. On one hand Ive been reading about how we are becoming to demanding of our partners/relationships and on the other I think everyone deserves to be treated with respect at minimum and Jack is unable to when hes angry.Should I just end things myself or am I overreacting. I can be a bit emotional so im not really sureTl;dr bf insults me and calls me stupid for sending a text to cancel a pre arranged move in