How do I break up with my boyfriend without being unnecessarily harsh?

My bf (27M) and I (25F) have only been together 6 months but he is super invested in forever. We met online and really enjoy each other’s company. We’ve met the others’ family, friends, etc and have been on a couple of trips. I care for him so so so much and can say honestly that I love him as a person.

There’s a problem: I’m not physically or sexually attracted to him at all. His body turns me off in a major way, and not just when he’s naked - he wears tight T-shirts and I can’t even look at him. I know it seems shallow, but we all have our preferences and I’m trying to be okay with that. Believe me, if I could change this I would. I thought time might help but it hasn’t in the slightest; if anything, my aversion has grown. I have been strongly advised that it’s not fair to continue on in the relationship, and I agree that he deserves someone who thinks he’s the hottest thing on earth.

The thing is, he has crippling body image issues. I can’t tell him that I don’t find him attractive and cite it as a reason for the breakup, because he will be absolutely destroyed.

Any tips on how to broach this? Be direct? Phrase it a particular way? He’s the type who says ‘I’ll do anything to make this work’ so I need to be clear it’s not something he can ‘fix’ to make the relationship last. I just can’t ruin his last shred of confidence while breaking his heart 😖

TL;DR I’m not physically attracted to my bf and need to break up. Worried about how to tell him due to his insecurities about his body.



Submitted September 07, 2019 at 11:38PM

My bf (27M) and I (25F) have only been together 6 months but he is super invested in forever. We met online and really enjoy each other’s company. We’ve met the others’ family, friends, etc and have been on a couple of trips. I care for him so so so much and can say honestly that I love him as a person.There’s a problem: I’m not physically or sexually attracted to him at all. His body turns me off in a major way, and not just when he’s naked - he wears tight T-shirts and I can’t even look at him. I know it seems shallow, but we all have our preferences and I’m trying to be okay with that. Believe me, if I could change this I would. I thought time might help but it hasn’t in the slightest; if anything, my aversion has grown. I have been strongly advised that it’s not fair to continue on in the relationship, and I agree that he deserves someone who thinks he’s the hottest thing on earth.The thing is, he has crippling body image issues. I can’t tell him that I don’t find him attractive and cite it as a reason for the breakup, because he will be absolutely destroyed.Any tips on how to broach this? Be direct? Phrase it a particular way? He’s the type who says ‘I’ll do anything to make this work’ so I need to be clear it’s not something he can ‘fix’ to make the relationship last. I just can’t ruin his last shred of confidence while breaking his heart 😖TL;DR I’m not physically attracted to my bf and need to break up. Worried about how to tell him due to his insecurities about his body.
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