I (20sF) want to break up with my bf(30sM) of a year but I'm afraid to hurt him.

Disclaimer: i'm on mobile.

I understand I'm probably the bad guy here since I essentially started the relationship with one foot out the door, but now all of a sudden its been a year and i really don't see us having a future and i don't feel the same way I did when we first started dating. I just don't want to hurt him so I keep putting it off.

We've definitely had our fair share of arguments but there isn't anything in particular that i feel prompted me losing interest. Its just becoming much more apparent that we aren't a good fit, in my eyes anyways.

For example, Im working really hard to better myself and be healthy by working towards being vegetarian/vegan which we've talked about a fair amount, but he's very much a man's man and often expresses his dislike of me not making dishes with meat very often, even though he knows why and is perfectly capable of buying/cooking meat for himself. Also I'm trying to become more low waste in my lifestyle and while he says he feels the same he does almost nothing to practice this.

He's really a sweet guy most of the time and i care about him a lot but I feel like a very different person than I was a year ago. There's things about him that i used to like that now make me not want to be around him. He can be really funny but more often than not his jokes are at the expense of someone or a minority group and i don't find them funny, this of course leads to him being offended that i find his joke offensive even though it isn't directed at me because he's "just joking". And he is often an asshole to people under the guise of being truthful and honest with people.

But aside from all of that he is sweet and thoughtful and kind to me and I know that he is more invested in this relationship than I am, which makes it harder to break it off because the last thing I want to do is hurt him but I cant stay in a relationship when im not happy at all. Its gotten to the point that I get uncomfortable when he touches me so I feel like i need to do it soon but it never seems like the right time.

Mostly i think I'm afraid of the aftermath and how he'll react. Not that i think he'll hurt me, but that he might become more depressed and get back into heavy drinking and drug use like before we were together.

TL;DR Life happened and i don't feel compatible with my bf anymore, so how do I let him down easy?

Submitted September 07, 2019 at 12:00AM

Disclaimer: i'm on mobile.I understand I'm probably the bad guy here since I essentially started the relationship with one foot out the door, but now all of a sudden its been a year and i really don't see us having a future and i don't feel the same way I did when we first started dating. I just don't want to hurt him so I keep putting it off.We've definitely had our fair share of arguments but there isn't anything in particular that i feel prompted me losing interest. Its just becoming much more apparent that we aren't a good fit, in my eyes anyways.For example, Im working really hard to better myself and be healthy by working towards being vegetarian/vegan which we've talked about a fair amount, but he's very much a man's man and often expresses his dislike of me not making dishes with meat very often, even though he knows why and is perfectly capable of buying/cooking meat for himself. Also I'm trying to become more low waste in my lifestyle and while he says he feels the same he does almost nothing to practice this.He's really a sweet guy most of the time and i care about him a lot but I feel like a very different person than I was a year ago. There's things about him that i used to like that now make me not want to be around him. He can be really funny but more often than not his jokes are at the expense of someone or a minority group and i don't find them funny, this of course leads to him being offended that i find his joke offensive even though it isn't directed at me because he's "just joking". And he is often an asshole to people under the guise of being truthful and honest with people.But aside from all of that he is sweet and thoughtful and kind to me and I know that he is more invested in this relationship than I am, which makes it harder to break it off because the last thing I want to do is hurt him but I cant stay in a relationship when im not happy at all. Its gotten to the point that I get uncomfortable when he touches me so I feel like i need to do it soon but it never seems like the right time.Mostly i think I'm afraid of the aftermath and how he'll react. Not that i think he'll hurt me, but that he might become more depressed and get back into heavy drinking and drug use like before we were together.TL;DR Life happened and i don't feel compatible with my bf anymore, so how do I let him down easy?