Have we hit the 7-year itch? Questioning my (24f) existence and if he's (25m) it for me.

Made a throwaway. As the title says, Joe (25m) and I (24f) have been together since high school for over 7 years. We've never broken up - we've had blow up arguments where one of us has questioned it, but we would always choose to stay together and work things through. I feel like we are pretty stable in our relationship now.

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He's a great guy and everything I would want in a life partner. I've always felt so lucky to have him - patient, supportive, gives me space when I need it, loves me unconditionally, respectful to my family, we have physical chemistry. So why am I feeling conflicted about us?

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I've always been a very independent person, and he's respected that. So I figured it was normal for me or that I was just growing into the independent woman that I am when I started feeling unsure about a year ago (and it's phased in and out) whether I wanted to have kids (he does, or did. Now he's not sure too). Then, it progressed to not being sure if I ever wanted to get married (I was ok with just being in a relationship with him forever, but something about the commitment of marriage scared me). I chalked it up to wanting to do big things in my life and work that I wouldn't have time for these commitments (which is still true, I do have big dreams). Then, I suddenly started feeling like I was alone in my future. When I thought about where I'd be in my life later on, I pictured doing things alone and didn't always think of what Joe's role would be in my life.

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I've had these feelings before of wondering what it's like to be on my own and be my own person, but I told myself that when you find someone like Joe as a partner, you don't let him go because it would be a huge loss if I did and there aren't good guys like Joe out there. And it didn't make sense to me why I would want to be on my own when Joe gives me all the space I need anyway? I'm away for graduate school now, in a different state, so this long distance is a bit different from what he did before. He can't visit as often. I was really excited to move away and almost get a fresh start - our friends are intertwined and, it's hard to explain, but sometimes feels like my thoughts and interests aren't mine, they're ours. Obviously, I would miss him, but as I was leaving, it felt like he was missing me more than I would.

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He came to visit last weekend, and at first it felt forced to feel lovey towards him. I think he could sense it because he asked, so I opened up about how I was feeling and he was so supportive and understanding. He told me he'd had the same feeling before, but chose to stay with me because he felt like he would regret it so much more if he let me go. Towards the end of his visit, I felt the same. I wasn't ready to let him go and I wanted to give us a try again, but I was still feeling conflicted.

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I feel like this is the best time in my life to figure out what it is that I want, what my purpose is, and who I am without being with Joe. But I'm scared that there's something I'm not seeing and am afraid I'll be making a mistake. I do love him and still have feelings for him, but the hesitation could come back again later in life...Should I just stick it through and let the feeling pass again or take the leap and be independent?

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tl;dr been in a 7-year relationship since high school, now in a long distance relationship as I pursue grad school and wondering what it is like to venture off on my own and figure out my purpose?

edit: bolded tl;dr

Submitted September 06, 2019 at 11:26PM

Made a throwaway. As the title says, Joe (25m) and I (24f) have been together since high school for over 7 years. We've never broken up - we've had blow up arguments where one of us has questioned it, but we would always choose to stay together and work things through. I feel like we are pretty stable in our relationship now.​He's a great guy and everything I would want in a life partner. I've always felt so lucky to have him - patient, supportive, gives me space when I need it, loves me unconditionally, respectful to my family, we have physical chemistry. So why am I feeling conflicted about us?​I've always been a very independent person, and he's respected that. So I figured it was normal for me or that I was just growing into the independent woman that I am when I started feeling unsure about a year ago (and it's phased in and out) whether I wanted to have kids (he does, or did. Now he's not sure too). Then, it progressed to not being sure if I ever wanted to get married (I was ok with just being in a relationship with him forever, but something about the commitment of marriage scared me). I chalked it up to wanting to do big things in my life and work that I wouldn't have time for these commitments (which is still true, I do have big dreams). Then, I suddenly started feeling like I was alone in my future. When I thought about where I'd be in my life later on, I pictured doing things alone and didn't always think of what Joe's role would be in my life.​I've had these feelings before of wondering what it's like to be on my own and be my own person, but I told myself that when you find someone like Joe as a partner, you don't let him go because it would be a huge loss if I did and there aren't good guys like Joe out there. And it didn't make sense to me why I would want to be on my own when Joe gives me all the space I need anyway? I'm away for graduate school now, in a different state, so this long distance is a bit different from what he did before. He can't visit as often. I was really excited to move away and almost get a fresh start - our friends are intertwined and, it's hard to explain, but sometimes feels like my thoughts and interests aren't mine, they're ours. Obviously, I would miss him, but as I was leaving, it felt like he was missing me more than I would.​He came to visit last weekend, and at first it felt forced to feel lovey towards him. I think he could sense it because he asked, so I opened up about how I was feeling and he was so supportive and understanding. He told me he'd had the same feeling before, but chose to stay with me because he felt like he would regret it so much more if he let me go. Towards the end of his visit, I felt the same. I wasn't ready to let him go and I wanted to give us a try again, but I was still feeling conflicted.​I feel like this is the best time in my life to figure out what it is that I want, what my purpose is, and who I am without being with Joe. But I'm scared that there's something I'm not seeing and am afraid I'll be making a mistake. I do love him and still have feelings for him, but the hesitation could come back again later in life...Should I just stick it through and let the feeling pass again or take the leap and be independent?​tl;dr been in a 7-year relationship since high school, now in a long distance relationship as I pursue grad school and wondering what it is like to venture off on my own and figure out my purpose?edit: bolded tl;dr