i (20f) am getting mixed signals from a coworker (19m) and would like some feedback?

so i’ve been hanging out with a coworker a lot recently- we hung out alone twice before going on a first date.

those first two times we hung out alone, we spent almost 8 hours together just hanging out. we went to the beach and looked at the stars both times, and it was lovely.

that was when i shot my shot and asked him on a date, and he said he’d love to. we had a wonderful time (or, i did and he said he did). first, we got to mcdonalds, then went to a movie and held hands and then looked at the stars on the beach. during the movie, i initiated hand holding but he didn’t seem receptive to what i was doing (i squeezed his hnd and was waiting for him to squeeze back, but it just didn’t happen?), so i was a little concerned. then, we went to the beach and he held my hand and helped me on to the rocks, then held me on the beach while i cuddled up into his chest. afterwards, we cuddled in the backseat of his car (per his suggestion).

he spoke in that gentle tone that i’ve noticed men lapse into when they’re being sincere and kind of gentle. we ended up not kissing or anything.

last week, i asked him on a second date and he said “yes and no”- that he had a wonderful time with me, but didn’t feel right moving on in dating because he wasn’t 100% over his ex girlfriend. he said he still wanted to be friends, and that he has fun being with me, but he’d love to hang out again.

i interpreted this as rejection, but last night my manager told me he’s been into me since the first day i started working there, and that he had one of his friends asked my manager if i was single because he thought i was super cute. both of my supervisors have noted he seems smitten for me, and were shocked when i told them about what happened. everyone says it’s obvious he likes me.

the next day when i saw him at work, he was still talking to me like he was before, being incredibly sweet and talkative, like nothing had happened.

tonight, we hung out for about an hour and bought the little vr kit for a nintendo switch. it seemed like he purposefully made time in his schedule to hang out, even if it was only an hour or two- he said he’d come at 7 and ended up showing up at 6:15. i didn’t try to initiate hand holding or anything physical because i really like this guy and want to respect him and would like to continue our friendship no matter what because i think he’s cool and deserves a good friend.

i don’t know how to proceed with this. should i just stop pursuing him and move on while staying friends? or should i not give up completely out of the hopes we can move forward at this point? is he being straightforward or trying to let me down easy?

Submitted April 23, 2019 at 06:59AM

so i’ve been hanging out with a coworker a lot recently- we hung out alone twice before going on a first date.those first two times we hung out alone, we spent almost 8 hours together just hanging out. we went to the beach and looked at the stars both times, and it was lovely.that was when i shot my shot and asked him on a date, and he said he’d love to. we had a wonderful time (or, i did and he said he did). first, we got to mcdonalds, then went to a movie and held hands and then looked at the stars on the beach. during the movie, i initiated hand holding but he didn’t seem receptive to what i was doing (i squeezed his hnd and was waiting for him to squeeze back, but it just didn’t happen?), so i was a little concerned. then, we went to the beach and he held my hand and helped me on to the rocks, then held me on the beach while i cuddled up into his chest. afterwards, we cuddled in the backseat of his car (per his suggestion).he spoke in that gentle tone that i’ve noticed men lapse into when they’re being sincere and kind of gentle. we ended up not kissing or anything.last week, i asked him on a second date and he said “yes and no”- that he had a wonderful time with me, but didn’t feel right moving on in dating because he wasn’t 100% over his ex girlfriend. he said he still wanted to be friends, and that he has fun being with me, but he’d love to hang out again.i interpreted this as rejection, but last night my manager told me he’s been into me since the first day i started working there, and that he had one of his friends asked my manager if i was single because he thought i was super cute. both of my supervisors have noted he seems smitten for me, and were shocked when i told them about what happened. everyone says it’s obvious he likes me.the next day when i saw him at work, he was still talking to me like he was before, being incredibly sweet and talkative, like nothing had happened.tonight, we hung out for about an hour and bought the little vr kit for a nintendo switch. it seemed like he purposefully made time in his schedule to hang out, even if it was only an hour or two- he said he’d come at 7 and ended up showing up at 6:15. i didn’t try to initiate hand holding or anything physical because i really like this guy and want to respect him and would like to continue our friendship no matter what because i think he’s cool and deserves a good friend.i don’t know how to proceed with this. should i just stop pursuing him and move on while staying friends? or should i not give up completely out of the hopes we can move forward at this point? is he being straightforward or trying to let me down easy?