How can I [22F] get comfortable with sharing nudes with my [23M] bf?

Title pretty much sums it up.

So my bf and I haven’t seen each other for quite a while due to the current situation. Because of it, we have gotten much more sexual over text, and he has mentioned that we can start sending nudes to each other as long as I’m comfortable with it. Honestly the thought of receiving and sending nudes to each other really turns me on, but I’m just too afraid of the consequences of sending them.

I have pretty remarkable spots on my body that most of my friends know about. So I feel that even if I don’t show my face, people will still recognize me if my nudes get leaked.

Now, trust is a HUGE part of it, and I know that I should trust my bf when it comes to these stuff. But, I guess what makes it really hard for me to trust him is probably my abusive ex, let’s call him Dick. Me and Dick dated for only a couple of months (less than half a year) and during this time he had crossed boundaries I constantly had to put in order to keep me safe during sex. He would always beg for my nudes and when I said I wasn’t comfortable enough he started blaming me for “not trusting him enough” and that I should feel bad for doing so. This is just one of the many horrible things he had done to me. After I got the courage to break up with Dick, he constantly harassed me, threaten me, etc. I just can’t imagine what Dick would have done if I had sent him my nudes.

The thing is, my current boyfriend isn’t like Dick at all, I have expressed my fears with him and he fully understands and accepts them. He constantly makes sure that I’m comfortable with whatever we do and this time is no exception, yet somehow I feel like I’m disappointing him by not trusting him enough, oof. People of r/sex, do you have any advise for getting more comfortable with sharing my photos with my bf? I really feel like I can trust him but my past makes it so much harder on me.

tl;dr: Me and my boyfriend want to start sharing our nudes with each other, I had an abusive ex boyfriend that makes it harder for me to trust my current boyfriend.



Submitted March 31, 2020 at 12:04AM

Title pretty much sums it up.So my bf and I haven’t seen each other for quite a while due to the current situation. Because of it, we have gotten much more sexual over text, and he has mentioned that we can start sending nudes to each other as long as I’m comfortable with it. Honestly the thought of receiving and sending nudes to each other really turns me on, but I’m just too afraid of the consequences of sending them.I have pretty remarkable spots on my body that most of my friends know about. So I feel that even if I don’t show my face, people will still recognize me if my nudes get leaked.Now, trust is a HUGE part of it, and I know that I should trust my bf when it comes to these stuff. But, I guess what makes it really hard for me to trust him is probably my abusive ex, let’s call him Dick. Me and Dick dated for only a couple of months (less than half a year) and during this time he had crossed boundaries I constantly had to put in order to keep me safe during sex. He would always beg for my nudes and when I said I wasn’t comfortable enough he started blaming me for “not trusting him enough” and that I should feel bad for doing so. This is just one of the many horrible things he had done to me. After I got the courage to break up with Dick, he constantly harassed me, threaten me, etc. I just can’t imagine what Dick would have done if I had sent him my nudes.The thing is, my current boyfriend isn’t like Dick at all, I have expressed my fears with him and he fully understands and accepts them. He constantly makes sure that I’m comfortable with whatever we do and this time is no exception, yet somehow I feel like I’m disappointing him by not trusting him enough, oof. People of r/sex, do you have any advise for getting more comfortable with sharing my photos with my bf? I really feel like I can trust him but my past makes it so much harder on me.tl;dr: Me and my boyfriend want to start sharing our nudes with each other, I had an abusive ex boyfriend that makes it harder for me to trust my current boyfriend.
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