Ex(26M) and I(25M) broke up, kept in contact, kept hooking up, but I a want a friendship

TLDR; my ex(who, as we both agreed, I imagined saw us as friends) seems to be distant now that we’re in coronavirus confinement. He barely respondes to texts, and he definitely doesn’t initiate texts. Did he lie, should I make clear my feelings?

Hey everyone,

Me: I have always put other people’s feelings and wants before mine. Most recently, I allowed my ex-boyfriend to take advantage of how caring I can be. Him: Generally, he was disgustingly terrible to me. He has mental health issues. I allowed his issues to be my excuse to accept and ignore his behaviors. Problem: Due to my specific circumstances, and the fact that I really love him as a person, when we broke up, we both originally agreed to be friends. We had a slight break with the understandably dumb no-contact rule. Then we began hanging out again. Unfortunately we also began getting too drunk and hooking up...again. We then consistently began to hang out on weekends with me as the initiator. I enjoyed this, until he asked if we could be FRIENDS-WITH-BENEFITS, and I did not answer him. We hung out the next weekend, and I made clear I did not want any label, besides friend, that they’re too complicated. Now, I feel he doesn’t want to be friends, and through the recent coronavirus issues, he barely interacts with my texts nor initiates texts. Question: Am I over reacting? Is that, I feel he’s indifferent, because he’s not messaging me, nor trying to contact me, despite the confinement situation, unsubstantiated? Should I make clear to him my feelings? Should I, as I feel is best, video chat, or do you imagine a text is best?

Thank you so much!



Submitted March 31, 2020 at 12:14AM

TLDR; my ex(who, as we both agreed, I imagined saw us as friends) seems to be distant now that we’re in coronavirus confinement. He barely respondes to texts, and he definitely doesn’t initiate texts. Did he lie, should I make clear my feelings?Hey everyone,Me: I have always put other people’s feelings and wants before mine. Most recently, I allowed my ex-boyfriend to take advantage of how caring I can be. Him: Generally, he was disgustingly terrible to me. He has mental health issues. I allowed his issues to be my excuse to accept and ignore his behaviors. Problem: Due to my specific circumstances, and the fact that I really love him as a person, when we broke up, we both originally agreed to be friends. We had a slight break with the understandably dumb no-contact rule. Then we began hanging out again. Unfortunately we also began getting too drunk and hooking up...again. We then consistently began to hang out on weekends with me as the initiator. I enjoyed this, until he asked if we could be FRIENDS-WITH-BENEFITS, and I did not answer him. We hung out the next weekend, and I made clear I did not want any label, besides friend, that they’re too complicated. Now, I feel he doesn’t want to be friends, and through the recent coronavirus issues, he barely interacts with my texts nor initiates texts. Question: Am I over reacting? Is that, I feel he’s indifferent, because he’s not messaging me, nor trying to contact me, despite the confinement situation, unsubstantiated? Should I make clear to him my feelings? Should I, as I feel is best, video chat, or do you imagine a text is best?Thank you so much!
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