My (22F) mom (56F) is forcing me into social situations I don’t want to be in

I’m coming to reddit for this because I RARELY get into disputes with my mom, we’re best friends and I love her, very rarely do I get legitimately upset with her. I’m in town from college and earlier today she told me we were going to dinner and looking at christmas lights with my old childhood friend and her mother, whose one of my moms long time best friends. I have not spoken to my old friend in years, we were like family but we just drifted.

I used to always be skinny and confident about my appearance but over the last year or two I’ve gained weight and I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been (probably like 148-150) and I’m currently really insecure about it. Especially seeing people who haven’t seen me since the days where I was skinny, it’s embarrassing. They’re all living their best life and I’m a potato, I just know they’d notice the weight gain and it makes me really uncomfortable so I told her no, I was not comfortable going and that was that. She then turned it around on me saying “I never ask you for anything, can you just go to make me happy?” which I found unfair.

Anyways, she leaves the house without me. About 20 minutes ago I check my phone to see a text from my mom saying not only is she bringing my old friend and her mother over, but my friends cousin and brother who I also grew up with. She also decided to give my old friend my number and my friend texts me saying they haven’t seen me in awhile and they want to come pick me up. I’m livid. This may be such an overreaction to other people but I’m just frustrated that my mom isn’t respecting my feelings. I’m fucking uncomfortable, what does she not understand? I don’t want to go. Now she’s put me in an awkward situation by encouraging my friend to text me when she knows very well how I already feel. She could’ve easily said I didn’t feel well or something if they brought up where I was. I’m 22, if I don’t want to go somewhere, I don’t have to. I’m not her child who she can drag around everywhere. I don’t know how to confront her as conflict between us is almost nonexistent, but I’m annoyed.

TLDR: Made it very clear to my mom i wasn’t interested in going to dinner with old family friends as i have anxiety, i’ve gained weight and i’m just genuinely insecure and uncomfortable. She then gives the friends my number and they ask me if they can come pick me up, etc. when my mom knows quite well exactly how i feel about the situation

Submitted December 18, 2019 at 12:26AM

I’m coming to reddit for this because I RARELY get into disputes with my mom, we’re best friends and I love her, very rarely do I get legitimately upset with her. I’m in town from college and earlier today she told me we were going to dinner and looking at christmas lights with my old childhood friend and her mother, whose one of my moms long time best friends. I have not spoken to my old friend in years, we were like family but we just drifted.I used to always be skinny and confident about my appearance but over the last year or two I’ve gained weight and I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been (probably like 148-150) and I’m currently really insecure about it. Especially seeing people who haven’t seen me since the days where I was skinny, it’s embarrassing. They’re all living their best life and I’m a potato, I just know they’d notice the weight gain and it makes me really uncomfortable so I told her no, I was not comfortable going and that was that. She then turned it around on me saying “I never ask you for anything, can you just go to make me happy?” which I found unfair.Anyways, she leaves the house without me. About 20 minutes ago I check my phone to see a text from my mom saying not only is she bringing my old friend and her mother over, but my friends cousin and brother who I also grew up with. She also decided to give my old friend my number and my friend texts me saying they haven’t seen me in awhile and they want to come pick me up. I’m livid. This may be such an overreaction to other people but I’m just frustrated that my mom isn’t respecting my feelings. I’m fucking uncomfortable, what does she not understand? I don’t want to go. Now she’s put me in an awkward situation by encouraging my friend to text me when she knows very well how I already feel. She could’ve easily said I didn’t feel well or something if they brought up where I was. I’m 22, if I don’t want to go somewhere, I don’t have to. I’m not her child who she can drag around everywhere. I don’t know how to confront her as conflict between us is almost nonexistent, but I’m annoyed.TLDR: Made it very clear to my mom i wasn’t interested in going to dinner with old family friends as i have anxiety, i’ve gained weight and i’m just genuinely insecure and uncomfortable. She then gives the friends my number and they ask me if they can come pick me up, etc. when my mom knows quite well exactly how i feel about the situation