Did I (24f) scare him (27m) away? What do I do now?

I’ve been dating a guy for a few months now. We haven’t had that many in-person dates since we’ve both been traveling a lot, but the dates we have had have been amazing. I definitely feel myself catching feelings but we haven’t had the DTR talk yet, and I wouldn’t say we text regularly. I’ve stayed over at his place after one of the dates.

About a week ago, we went to his place again, and after we did the deed, he told me that he needed to be up super early but otherwise he’d have wanted me to sleep over. I was a little caught off-guard (I wasn’t planning on staying over, but just the fact that he said it immediately after was a bit harsh to me). I texted him later saying I had a great night with him etc, but I just wished that he had given me a heads-up beforehand (aka I essentially felt like he was kicking me out right after sex); I was super open and nice when I worded it, not making it sound like I was pissed or anything, because I wasn’t. I was just trying to be communicative. He apologized and said he didn’t mean it like that, and was stressing out about when to mention it but he waited too long. I told him it was fine, no problem.

But ever since that conversation, he’s been distant. He’s a really busy guy, but people make time for things they want. I asked him a few days later if he was free to hang out again and he said he had plans over the weekend, but he didn’t suggest an alternate time and he hasn’t texted me since. Now I’m wondering if this is a mind game or if he’s genuinely lost interest.

I’m just kind of bummed out and don’t know what to do. It feels like this is like a slow, painful ghosting. I hate that I’m actually stressing out about this, to the point where I’m losing sleep (there are other things going on that are stressing me out too, but I’ve been so anxious about this). I don’t know if I should reach out to him again, and if I did, what would I say? I was thinking of something along the lines of “hey x! I just wanna make sure we’re good...I hope that whatever happened last time didn’t ruin anything. I was just trying to be honest with you and I’d still love to see you”. But I’m worried that’ll push him away...maybe I should say nothing? :/

TL;DR - i was upfront (but nice) with a guy about how I felt after a date, and now it seems like he’s avoiding me. I can’t stop thinking about it an don’t know what to say to him next.

Submitted December 18, 2019 at 12:26AM

I’ve been dating a guy for a few months now. We haven’t had that many in-person dates since we’ve both been traveling a lot, but the dates we have had have been amazing. I definitely feel myself catching feelings but we haven’t had the DTR talk yet, and I wouldn’t say we text regularly. I’ve stayed over at his place after one of the dates.About a week ago, we went to his place again, and after we did the deed, he told me that he needed to be up super early but otherwise he’d have wanted me to sleep over. I was a little caught off-guard (I wasn’t planning on staying over, but just the fact that he said it immediately after was a bit harsh to me). I texted him later saying I had a great night with him etc, but I just wished that he had given me a heads-up beforehand (aka I essentially felt like he was kicking me out right after sex); I was super open and nice when I worded it, not making it sound like I was pissed or anything, because I wasn’t. I was just trying to be communicative. He apologized and said he didn’t mean it like that, and was stressing out about when to mention it but he waited too long. I told him it was fine, no problem.But ever since that conversation, he’s been distant. He’s a really busy guy, but people make time for things they want. I asked him a few days later if he was free to hang out again and he said he had plans over the weekend, but he didn’t suggest an alternate time and he hasn’t texted me since. Now I’m wondering if this is a mind game or if he’s genuinely lost interest.I’m just kind of bummed out and don’t know what to do. It feels like this is like a slow, painful ghosting. I hate that I’m actually stressing out about this, to the point where I’m losing sleep (there are other things going on that are stressing me out too, but I’ve been so anxious about this). I don’t know if I should reach out to him again, and if I did, what would I say? I was thinking of something along the lines of “hey x! I just wanna make sure we’re good...I hope that whatever happened last time didn’t ruin anything. I was just trying to be honest with you and I’d still love to see you”. But I’m worried that’ll push him away...maybe I should say nothing? :/TL;DR - i was upfront (but nice) with a guy about how I felt after a date, and now it seems like he’s avoiding me. I can’t stop thinking about it an don’t know what to say to him next.