I’m so in love with you

I envy my prior self.

She had your love.

Your care.

Your affection.

Your patience.

She ruined it by wanting more.

What more could you have given?

You gave all you could, why did she want more?

Why was she not content?

Why was she so stupid?

Why?

Now all she can ask is why?

She ruined us, I ruined us.

I miss you, the you that loved me affectionately, relentlessly and undoubtedly.

The you that loved to spend time with me, be with me, look at me.

The you who thought I was beautiful.

The you who made me feel like I mattered.

I killed your love.

I scorched it.

I wore it down piece by piece.

Now I’m left with a hallow version of our love.

I’m no longer the source of your happiness.

I’m no longer the first person you think about.

I’m no longer the most important person.

I’m no longer someone you want to spend time with.

I’m no longer someone you love.

I know this.

Being with you is painful, being without you is worse.

Either way I lose.

I don’t know what do.

You’ve made it clear you dont want a relationship, youre fine without me.

I know I have to let you go, but I can’t stop holding on to what little we have left.

Loving you has cost me so much, yet I can’t let go.

But you can.

This concept of one sided love, I now know what it feels like.

I hate it.



Submitted December 17, 2019 at 11:39PM

I envy my prior self.She had your love.Your care.Your affection.Your patience.She ruined it by wanting more.What more could you have given?You gave all you could, why did she want more?Why was she not content?Why was she so stupid?Why?Now all she can ask is why?She ruined us, I ruined us.I miss you, the you that loved me affectionately, relentlessly and undoubtedly.The you that loved to spend time with me, be with me, look at me.The you who thought I was beautiful.The you who made me feel like I mattered.I killed your love.I scorched it.I wore it down piece by piece.Now I’m left with a hallow version of our love.I’m no longer the source of your happiness.I’m no longer the first person you think about.I’m no longer the most important person.I’m no longer someone you want to spend time with.I’m no longer someone you love.I know this.Being with you is painful, being without you is worse.Either way I lose.I don’t know what do.You’ve made it clear you dont want a relationship, youre fine without me.I know I have to let you go, but I can’t stop holding on to what little we have left.Loving you has cost me so much, yet I can’t let go.But you can.This concept of one sided love, I now know what it feels like.I hate it.
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