My [19F] childhood friend/crush [18M] avoids me and didn’t come to my birthday party after I found out my sister [25F] groomed him.

I have known him since he was 6 and I was 7. I’m one year older and he is one of my best friends that I have met throughout my life. We grew up together since we were neughbors, but then we both moved and we only saw each other like once every 2 or 3 weeks after that. My sister has always had this weird crush on him even though she is a whole 7 years older than him. I do remember one time when we were kids, my sister made him kiss her on the lips and you could tell he didn’t want to.

Then when we got older, I had this huge crush on him and it seemed like he really liked me too since we would hang out a lot and go out together. I the got a boyfriend (we broke up months ago) because he seemed uninterested and started to avoid me. I thought he was no longer into me, but it turns out that he still really likes me. So it was my birthday last week and his family came, but he didn’t come and I was really sad since I have been wanting to see him.

Then I asked him why he was avoiding me and he told me the whole story and that he did still like me. Basically, he was 14 or 15 when my sister got him to have sex with her and she kept on being oushy about it so they have hooked up a few times and he said he felt bad since he still liked me. Obviously I can’t date him anymore, but I miss how close we were before and I am angry with my older sister for what she did since she always knew I liked him. What should I do? Shoukd I try to save the friendship or just let him be and not bother anymore?

Tldr: my older sister groomed my childhood friend/ crush even when she knew I liked him. Now he’s avoiding me and I don’t know what to do anymore.



Submitted October 06, 2019 at 12:19AM

I have known him since he was 6 and I was 7. I’m one year older and he is one of my best friends that I have met throughout my life. We grew up together since we were neughbors, but then we both moved and we only saw each other like once every 2 or 3 weeks after that. My sister has always had this weird crush on him even though she is a whole 7 years older than him. I do remember one time when we were kids, my sister made him kiss her on the lips and you could tell he didn’t want to.Then when we got older, I had this huge crush on him and it seemed like he really liked me too since we would hang out a lot and go out together. I the got a boyfriend (we broke up months ago) because he seemed uninterested and started to avoid me. I thought he was no longer into me, but it turns out that he still really likes me. So it was my birthday last week and his family came, but he didn’t come and I was really sad since I have been wanting to see him.Then I asked him why he was avoiding me and he told me the whole story and that he did still like me. Basically, he was 14 or 15 when my sister got him to have sex with her and she kept on being oushy about it so they have hooked up a few times and he said he felt bad since he still liked me. Obviously I can’t date him anymore, but I miss how close we were before and I am angry with my older sister for what she did since she always knew I liked him. What should I do? Shoukd I try to save the friendship or just let him be and not bother anymore?Tldr: my older sister groomed my childhood friend/ crush even when she knew I liked him. Now he’s avoiding me and I don’t know what to do anymore.
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