How do you usually build a romantic/emotional connection?

Hi everyone,

I (33/m) have trouble building a romantic/emotional connection with the women during dates. I live in a relatively big city in the United States and usually do low-activity dates for the first and second meet-up. After the second, I'll plan an activity one. My time with the person usually lasts between 1 to 3 dates.

Building a connection has been difficult for me because I have never been in a long-term relationship (+6 months) before. In dates, most the conversation topics are hobbies, families, trips, TV shows/books, goals, and whatever is unique about the person. Over the last two weeks, I received text messages from at least four women who didn’t feel a connection. I also received messages from women who felt a friend vibe. I understand that you won’t connect with every person you meet, but this has been a long-term problem for me (maybe 4 years). In the last few months, I started reading books on relationships (e.g. Love Languages) and asked my dates what’s important to them in a relationship. It still feels like I have the wrong approach.

How do you usually go about building a romantic or emotional connection?



Submitted October 05, 2019 at 11:58PM

Hi everyone,I (33/m) have trouble building a romantic/emotional connection with the women during dates. I live in a relatively big city in the United States and usually do low-activity dates for the first and second meet-up. After the second, I'll plan an activity one. My time with the person usually lasts between 1 to 3 dates.Building a connection has been difficult for me because I have never been in a long-term relationship (+6 months) before. In dates, most the conversation topics are hobbies, families, trips, TV shows/books, goals, and whatever is unique about the person. Over the last two weeks, I received text messages from at least four women who didn’t feel a connection. I also received messages from women who felt a friend vibe. I understand that you won’t connect with every person you meet, but this has been a long-term problem for me (maybe 4 years). In the last few months, I started reading books on relationships (e.g. Love Languages) and asked my dates what’s important to them in a relationship. It still feels like I have the wrong approach.How do you usually go about building a romantic or emotional connection?
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