Me [over 35/F] with a coworker [mid-30s M]'s strange reactions upon being introduced and later. What might have gone wrong?

TL,DR: Guy acting weird at my introduction to coworkers, seems aloof in other interactions, wouldn't normally stress over this but we may be working together in the not-so-far future and I don't know why I put him off, but can't directly ask because it would get around... could someone help me figure this out?

This occurrence has been on my mind because I may be working with this guy soonish. I just started a new job in July, at a very relaxed and friendly workplace where the people are truly welcoming. I'm slowly making friends, mostly with the women there since I don't go out of my way to chat with the guys, they're on different projects so we don't have much of a chance to interact.

One guy reacted very strangely when I met him. On that day I was a nervous wreck, hadn't slept the night before, managed to be quite presentable anyways but smiled a bit too much etc. you get the picture. I was shaking hands with most of the people I met and there was no problem there.

Until I was introduced by my new supervisor to Greg. Greg took one look at me and seemed taken aback, or startled, or surprised? (That's what I am confused by.) I tried shaking his hand like I'd just done with the coworker who was at his desk and he seemed to... not want to let me, or forgot how it was done? Very very weird. He barely said "Hi" as well. Couldn't manage to explain what he worked on either unlike everyone else. I chalked that up to coming across a lot worse than I thought I did; that was disappointing to me but not a problem, can't please everyone.

A few days later I ran into him, I was still learning where everything was so I asked him for papers and supplies for a project. He got them for me really quickly but seemed again taken aback by the interaction. By then my initial nerves from "new job" status had dissipated and I don't think I was coming across weird or out-of-place... but he was still reacting almost nervously to me. That stuck around for a few weeks because I couldn't figure out what I'd done wrong, but since we rarely spoke after that I just forgot about it.

Since then I've confirmed via hearing others discussing random tidbits about everyone's lives, he's not Muslim and does not come from a culture that would prohibit him from shaking a woman's hand or just talking with her.

Plus, Greg is a really put-together type of guy. Very fit and active, comes across well to other people, I hear him chatting with other people because our cubes are all open and he doesn't seem to have any kind of social handicap. He seems to talk about everything and anything with his project peers. He seems like just a normal regular guy, with no background that would otherwise clash with mine.

I don't know how I managed to put him off, but it's important to me to get along with my coworkers and have peace and harmony going on, which is why I haven't interacted with him after that, but we may be working on the same project in several weeks so... I'd like to solve this before then if I can. Can anyone help?

(It's not like I can just go and ask him "Hey, why are you being weird with me" when we've had a total of 3 interactions in 3 months, and I don't like to ask around about other people so all I have is Reddit's brains to pick.)



Submitted October 05, 2019 at 11:59PM

TL,DR: Guy acting weird at my introduction to coworkers, seems aloof in other interactions, wouldn't normally stress over this but we may be working together in the not-so-far future and I don't know why I put him off, but can't directly ask because it would get around... could someone help me figure this out?This occurrence has been on my mind because I may be working with this guy soonish. I just started a new job in July, at a very relaxed and friendly workplace where the people are truly welcoming. I'm slowly making friends, mostly with the women there since I don't go out of my way to chat with the guys, they're on different projects so we don't have much of a chance to interact.One guy reacted very strangely when I met him. On that day I was a nervous wreck, hadn't slept the night before, managed to be quite presentable anyways but smiled a bit too much etc. you get the picture. I was shaking hands with most of the people I met and there was no problem there.Until I was introduced by my new supervisor to Greg. Greg took one look at me and seemed taken aback, or startled, or surprised? (That's what I am confused by.) I tried shaking his hand like I'd just done with the coworker who was at his desk and he seemed to... not want to let me, or forgot how it was done? Very very weird. He barely said "Hi" as well. Couldn't manage to explain what he worked on either unlike everyone else. I chalked that up to coming across a lot worse than I thought I did; that was disappointing to me but not a problem, can't please everyone.A few days later I ran into him, I was still learning where everything was so I asked him for papers and supplies for a project. He got them for me really quickly but seemed again taken aback by the interaction. By then my initial nerves from "new job" status had dissipated and I don't think I was coming across weird or out-of-place... but he was still reacting almost nervously to me. That stuck around for a few weeks because I couldn't figure out what I'd done wrong, but since we rarely spoke after that I just forgot about it.Since then I've confirmed via hearing others discussing random tidbits about everyone's lives, he's not Muslim and does not come from a culture that would prohibit him from shaking a woman's hand or just talking with her.Plus, Greg is a really put-together type of guy. Very fit and active, comes across well to other people, I hear him chatting with other people because our cubes are all open and he doesn't seem to have any kind of social handicap. He seems to talk about everything and anything with his project peers. He seems like just a normal regular guy, with no background that would otherwise clash with mine.I don't know how I managed to put him off, but it's important to me to get along with my coworkers and have peace and harmony going on, which is why I haven't interacted with him after that, but we may be working on the same project in several weeks so... I'd like to solve this before then if I can. Can anyone help?(It's not like I can just go and ask him "Hey, why are you being weird with me" when we've had a total of 3 interactions in 3 months, and I don't like to ask around about other people so all I have is Reddit's brains to pick.)
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