My(23M) close friend (23M) ignores calls/text messages for days, posts on IG rightaway, acts like it didn't happen

I have this friend I know for a long time (10+years) and consider one of my best friends. I call to check how's his life going on to keep in touch, message time to time since we are in different cities. Most of the time he doesn't answer back or text back which I told to him not to do this because I find it rude. I told him to at least return the call when you are available but nothing changed. This makes me think that he doesn't want to keep in touch or that he is trying to exclude me from his life without saying it outright. Then he proceeds to invite me to some event or calls me to hangout as if nothing happened. And then this makes me think as if I'm forcing him to hangout since he is the kinda guy that everyone likes and I haven't seen him say outright to anyone that he doesn't like that person. So far I tried to think that I'm being paranoid and trying to ignore this.

On most recent case same thing happens. I call to make a small-talk and he doesnt answer. 5 days later, he doesn't return the call back. What is this? Are you that busy that you can't return a call back but have time to post stories and posts on Instagram? I say whatever; call back a week later since we were planning on some stuff to pass time with he answers and acts as if he didnt ignore me for 5 days and post on Instagram while at it. We didn't see eachother for 2-3 months after that talk.

Present day; he calls me to hangout for a group event, which I am not sure how to respond with. I feel like he is giving the vibe that "we only hangout when I want". This really makes me tired. He is sometimes acting nice, sometimes simply ignores me and acts like it didn't happen which really triggers me and I don't want to say anything since I'm not sure if I am the source of the problem.

How should I respond to him? Should I cut him from my life? Am I vauling friendships or this person too much? Is there a problem with me?

TL;DR: Friend for 10+ years acts erratic when it comes to going out messages/calls etc. Need help how to act on that.



Submitted September 10, 2019 at 11:24PM

I have this friend I know for a long time (10+years) and consider one of my best friends. I call to check how's his life going on to keep in touch, message time to time since we are in different cities. Most of the time he doesn't answer back or text back which I told to him not to do this because I find it rude. I told him to at least return the call when you are available but nothing changed. This makes me think that he doesn't want to keep in touch or that he is trying to exclude me from his life without saying it outright. Then he proceeds to invite me to some event or calls me to hangout as if nothing happened. And then this makes me think as if I'm forcing him to hangout since he is the kinda guy that everyone likes and I haven't seen him say outright to anyone that he doesn't like that person. So far I tried to think that I'm being paranoid and trying to ignore this.On most recent case same thing happens. I call to make a small-talk and he doesnt answer. 5 days later, he doesn't return the call back. What is this? Are you that busy that you can't return a call back but have time to post stories and posts on Instagram? I say whatever; call back a week later since we were planning on some stuff to pass time with he answers and acts as if he didnt ignore me for 5 days and post on Instagram while at it. We didn't see eachother for 2-3 months after that talk.Present day; he calls me to hangout for a group event, which I am not sure how to respond with. I feel like he is giving the vibe that "we only hangout when I want". This really makes me tired. He is sometimes acting nice, sometimes simply ignores me and acts like it didn't happen which really triggers me and I don't want to say anything since I'm not sure if I am the source of the problem.How should I respond to him? Should I cut him from my life? Am I vauling friendships or this person too much? Is there a problem with me?TL;DR: Friend for 10+ years acts erratic when it comes to going out messages/calls etc. Need help how to act on that.
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