My (22F) boyfriend (24M) is doing nothing with his life and Idk how to deal.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. We met when I was halfway through college. He "finished" school (which I later found out meant he flunked and left) and moved back home with his parents. It's been two years, he has not gotten a job, crashed his car and has made no effort to get a new one, has become consumed with fun, semi-pointless hobbies (drones, MY video game systems, vaping, bubble blowing), and on top of that drinks alcohol nearly every day and smokes at least $100 worth of thc products a week.

He also has a dream to become a musician and owns at least $10k+ worth of music equipment. Produces his own musics but never finishes the songs nor posts them. He sucks at communicating (via phone, internet, ect) and since coming back home has lost the majority of his fanbase.

I've addressed to him multiple times that I'm concerned with what he's doing with his life and he always gets defensive and says things take time. He turns 25 next year and he says he's been thinking a lot about what's next, but also has explicitly told me he's trying to live responsibility free as long as possible.

I'm 22, just graduated from college and am in a prime position to plant long term seeds for my future. Our lives are pretty intertwined as I practically live with him 50% of the time and we share the same scene, interests, and friend group. We've had different upbringings (me having to mostly fend for myself, him getting everything handed to him) so I think that is a huge issue in the way we handle things.

I'm not sure if this is a massive character flaw on his part or if he has some general underlying issue which explains his substance abuse, lack of consideration and emotional support towards others and lack of prioritization/motivation/consideration.

I'm at my wits end at putting in way more effort to ensure things work out for us both when he generally only considers himself. He hardly communicates with me in general and just acts like a huge manchild when I try to discuss anything serious. Offers me hardly any support when times get tough.

For example, I just bought a new car and it started acting worse shortly after I had gotten work done today. Instead of offering any advice or help he continues to play with his drone and ignore the fact I am visibly upset at the situation. I asked for a ride home because I have to work at 8am tomorrow and he's just been flying his drone for the past 2 hours while I wait...

Not sure what to do.. my gut keeps telling me that I should break it off but I've put in so much time, effort and hope that things will change that I think I should just stick it out.

~~~~~~~ TLDR; Boyfriend of 2 1/2 years making no effort to better his life, his future or put supportive effort towards our relationship. Not sure if I should break it off or stick it out.

Submitted September 10, 2019 at 11:39PM

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. We met when I was halfway through college. He "finished" school (which I later found out meant he flunked and left) and moved back home with his parents. It's been two years, he has not gotten a job, crashed his car and has made no effort to get a new one, has become consumed with fun, semi-pointless hobbies (drones, MY video game systems, vaping, bubble blowing), and on top of that drinks alcohol nearly every day and smokes at least $100 worth of thc products a week.He also has a dream to become a musician and owns at least $10k+ worth of music equipment. Produces his own musics but never finishes the songs nor posts them. He sucks at communicating (via phone, internet, ect) and since coming back home has lost the majority of his fanbase.I've addressed to him multiple times that I'm concerned with what he's doing with his life and he always gets defensive and says things take time. He turns 25 next year and he says he's been thinking a lot about what's next, but also has explicitly told me he's trying to live responsibility free as long as possible.I'm 22, just graduated from college and am in a prime position to plant long term seeds for my future. Our lives are pretty intertwined as I practically live with him 50% of the time and we share the same scene, interests, and friend group. We've had different upbringings (me having to mostly fend for myself, him getting everything handed to him) so I think that is a huge issue in the way we handle things.I'm not sure if this is a massive character flaw on his part or if he has some general underlying issue which explains his substance abuse, lack of consideration and emotional support towards others and lack of prioritization/motivation/consideration.I'm at my wits end at putting in way more effort to ensure things work out for us both when he generally only considers himself. He hardly communicates with me in general and just acts like a huge manchild when I try to discuss anything serious. Offers me hardly any support when times get tough.For example, I just bought a new car and it started acting worse shortly after I had gotten work done today. Instead of offering any advice or help he continues to play with his drone and ignore the fact I am visibly upset at the situation. I asked for a ride home because I have to work at 8am tomorrow and he's just been flying his drone for the past 2 hours while I wait...Not sure what to do.. my gut keeps telling me that I should break it off but I've put in so much time, effort and hope that things will change that I think I should just stick it out.~~~~~~~ TLDR; Boyfriend of 2 1/2 years making no effort to better his life, his future or put supportive effort towards our relationship. Not sure if I should break it off or stick it out.