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Showing posts from September, 2019

My best friends [F22] mental health is beginning to impact mine [F20]

I've known my best friend for five years. At the beginning of this year, they confessed they had feelings for me. I identify as straight and have never had any experience with a same-sex relationship so it took me back a little. I let them down as gently as I could and after a few months they said that their feelings had passed and our friendship return to normal. They have had a really tough year with their mental health. We have always had a light hearted, happy-go-lucky friendship but a few months back she told me she had been struggling and thought she might have depression. I supported her as much as I could and suggested that she speak to a counsellor to get some extra support. When we would talk about their mental health, it was always a really heavy conversation. I was the only person she felt comfortable confiding in so I felt like a lot of what they were holding in was unleashed when we spoke. At first it was okay and I understood that they had a lot that they needed t...

/u/chemicalcat59 on This bitch retweeted an asexual comic and made fun of it. When I called her out and said she was being aphobic, her response was basically "haha sweetie, I'm a lesbian so I know what REAL oppression is like"

Exactly my thought! October 01, 2019 at 12:01AM

/u/Thresheld on when their affection is ripe for your inner demons

Bold of you to assume the allos I know are informed enough to not view asexuality as a creepy weird “turn off” thing and a valid sexual orientation 😎😎😎 September 30, 2019 at 11:56PM

Why did she do this?

So I had been dating this girl for a little over 2 months. She had just gotten out of a really bad breakup in May and I'm thinking I was a rebound since we started talking in July. Anyway, she was showing high signs of interest for about 3 weeks, then we had sex and she started getting more distant (I messed up and had the relationship talk with her - I know better now). Anyway, we never had sex again and she kept me at such a distance, though we did go on a few more dates, that I essentially felt like a text buddy. This wasn't what I wanted so I told her straight up that we should stop texting everday in order to have more to talk about on our dates. She said that was cool and then I called her 2 days later to setup a date. She didn't pick up, immediately texted me she was busy and didn't call back till 3 days later. I was busy at work and didn't answer so I called her that night and got no answer. I called 1 week later and got no answer either so I gave up, beca...

Best first meal to cook for a date?

I've invited a girl over for dinner for our 3rd date, what should I cook that is simple, but impressive? Submitted September 30, 2019 at 11:45PM I've invited a girl over for dinner for our 3rd date, what should I cook that is simple, but impressive?

Why did I get ghosted? I feel like I’m too awkward to date girls

Why did I get ghosted? feel like I’m too awkward to date girls I recently got ghosted. I went to a club on Saturday with my friends( I’m at uni) Towards the end of the night I was sitting down upstairs kind of just enjoying myself( my friends were talking to other people) and me and this girl start looking over at each other. I’m too nervous to approach her but we’re directly starting at each other smiling etc. But then She uses her finger to encourage me to come over if that makes sense so I know I can. Then when i approach her the chemistry is good, she’s laughing at my jokes. I ask for her number and she says yes and then we hug. I also made a few friends that night in general so was feeling pretty confident. Now yes I know it’s probably likely she wanted me to buy her a drink, dance with her and even hook up. But here’s the thing, I don’t like hooking up or one night things in general. I go to clubs to have a good time with my mates. Anyways, the next day I text her and she re...

Overt sexual behaviour?

I'm trying to figure this out. Can you help me? Because I'm confused about my gf's behaviour. We were in an enclosed environment with other tourists a boat to be precise. My gf is very attractive and gets plenty male attention. That's fine. People are human. But she starts to then put her finger to her mouth in nervous compulsive kind of way, and I notice her doing it subtly sometimes and a lot of times, and guys are staring at her. To me it looks like her thumb is representing a dick and she is getting off on the attention. Or...is she so uncomfortable and insecure with the attention it is a nervous coping strategy? Because it seems like it's a giant fuck you to me, and it's humiliating. It makes her look like a whore in all honesty. But I'm worried that maybe I have got it all wrong? Theres an article that backs up the comfort/anxiety angle of finger sucking/finger to mouth but I can't post it. Submitted October 01, 2019 at 12:08AM I'm t...

Survey: What make guys ghost girls and vise versa?

Since, ghosting is becoming a trend. I wonder what’s the unfiltered truth behind ghosting, don’t sugar coat your answers. Submitted October 01, 2019 at 12:11AM Since, ghosting is becoming a trend. I wonder what’s the unfiltered truth behind ghosting, don’t sugar coat your answers.

Dating a shy guy?

Basically I just started dating this guy and he is REALLY shy. I'm always the one to give hugs and initiate things. I know he likes me back a lot too. Should I keep initiating things or am I just coming off as pushy??? I've never dated a shy guy before so its pretty new to me and I dunno what to do. Submitted October 01, 2019 at 12:17AM Basically I just started dating this guy and he is REALLY shy. I'm always the one to give hugs and initiate things. I know he likes me back a lot too. Should I keep initiating things or am I just coming off as pushy??? I've never dated a shy guy before so its pretty new to me and I dunno what to do.

When you get a message on letgo thinking you'll make a few bucks today and it's actually just a "nice guy" 😒 guess I'll keep my stuff a little longer

https://i.redd.it/jw6sbdfydtp31.jpg Submitted September 30, 2019 at 11:17PM https://ift.tt/2oElJDA

Why bother in the first place?

https://ift.tt/2oMwwvH Submitted September 30, 2019 at 11:18PM https://ift.tt/2oMwwvH

My friend just posted this on

https://ift.tt/2n5CGXo Submitted September 30, 2019 at 11:22PM https://ift.tt/2n5CGXo

You can find nice guys anywhere

https://ift.tt/2neim65 Submitted September 30, 2019 at 11:30PM https://ift.tt/2neim65

50 years old... so hard to find a match at this point :(

I've been divorced for 3 years, and separated 2 years before that. Have not had one relationship in the 5 years. Several flings, very short term "dating situations" (not sure what else to call it- they were not exclusive), and many one or two time dates. I've done online dating and still doing it. Have also dated people I met organically. At this point, I find that it's nearly impossible to find someone who even has the same goal of being in a relationship. The ones I have dated and really liked, clearly did not want a committed relationship. The ones who liked me and wanted a relationship were not the type that I was attracted to or felt compatible with. Not a huge problem getting dates, but a huge problem finding anyone that I am attracted to/compatible with who also wants a relationship. I know the options are few when you are 50, just by the numbers... many have been thru bad divorces and are now jaded, and many I meet are my age or older and have never bee...

Opinions

Hi all, I was just diagnosed with herpes and have been reading some very upsetting posts here on the internet. I'm currently working towards a masters in the natural sciences. I have always been considered beautiful and have been sought after. I think now I am going to accept the possibility of not finding love. I do not even feel comfortable flirting at this point. I know how incredibly common and mild the virus is. I do not think I would deny someone if they had herpes, but since my diagnosis and time on the internet I have found people to be quite judgmental and cruel. I guess my question is, would you guys consider dating someone with herpes? Submitted October 01, 2019 at 12:08AM Hi all,I was just diagnosed with herpes and have been reading some very upsetting posts here on the internet. I'm currently working towards a masters in the natural sciences. I have always been considered beautiful and have been sought after. I think now I am going to accept the possibility...

No text back since our date

A week ago I went on a date and we had a really good time. We also got intimate. He told me he wants to see me again and that he thought I was a great person. We clicked and we could not stop talking. However, he has yet to text me. Should I wait for him to text me or should I take initiative? Submitted October 01, 2019 at 12:09AM A week ago I went on a date and we had a really good time. We also got intimate. He told me he wants to see me again and that he thought I was a great person. We clicked and we could not stop talking. However, he has yet to text me. Should I wait for him to text me or should I take initiative?

Survey: What make guys ghost girls and vise versa?

Since, ghosting is becoming a trend. I wonder what’s the unfiltered truth behind ghosting, don’t sugar coat your answers. Submitted October 01, 2019 at 12:11AM Since, ghosting is becoming a trend. I wonder what’s the unfiltered truth behind ghosting, don’t sugar coat your answers.

Dating a shy guy?

Basically I just started dating this guy and he is REALLY shy. I'm always the one to give hugs and initiate things. I know he likes me back a lot too. Should I keep initiating things or am I just coming off as pushy??? I've never dated a shy guy before so its pretty new to me and I dunno what to do. Submitted October 01, 2019 at 12:17AM Basically I just started dating this guy and he is REALLY shy. I'm always the one to give hugs and initiate things. I know he likes me back a lot too. Should I keep initiating things or am I just coming off as pushy??? I've never dated a shy guy before so its pretty new to me and I dunno what to do.

Should (22M) wait for this girl (22F)?

Basically been seeing someone for over 2 months but I left midway through because I wanted to focus on my career. Few weeks later, I asked for her back. She accepted. We laid out the ground rules. We’d take it slow. And we’d be exclusive. Not bad, at least on paper but get this. It’s almost like she doesn’t want to talk/see me...at all. We went on a date last weekend, which was incredibly awkward. She was on her phone. Kind of dazed out. Barely listening. Didn’t find me as funny as before. I’d make this girl laugh into tears and now she just...chuckles. So I’ve kept my distance. Remained exclusive for about over 2 weeks now. But what doesn’t make sense is that I’m exclusive to someone who doesn’t even talk to me. Within the last few weeks, she’s reached out once (which was yesterday) and once I started to put more personality in my texts, her responses became cold. So I left it at that. I want to make this work. It was really great when we both clicked. But it confuses me that I’m s...

How can I tell if my (35f) boyfriend (37m) is private or lying?

Tldr: Is my boyfriend private or is he a liar? If he really is just private what should I do? Second account to protect privacy. My boyfriend is super private, as he calls it. He doesnt like to be monitored and cherishes his freedom. He talks to a lot of women on social media, younger ones, but doesnt tell me. I've asked him to let me know who his female friends are, and when he talks to them if he does often. He refuses to. He does not want me to tag him on things on social media. He is always on his phone and actually doesnt here me when we talk bc he is talking to others. He gets mad if I ask who hes talking to. He tells me I should just trust hin and that I cause arguments. I get upset because social media clearly shows what photos he likes on Instagram and who hes chatting with on FB theough suggested people to chat with. It isnt hard to figure out. I get evey worried and ask him for reassurance about certain people he likes every photo of or people Facebook shows me he i...

My (24f) boyfriend (34M) wants to move his dad in when he starts to die.. don’t know what to do.

So my boyfriend and I have been together a year and we live together. Well today, he mentioned how his 70 year old dad is getting old and wants him to come live with us (eventually) until he dies. His dad is married but the wife is crazy and doesn’t want him living with her but yet wants his financial support. It’s a weird situation that I’m not fully aware of. I guess my “issue” with this is: we have a small house that we’re currently remodeling. Even with just the two of us it feels like a one bedroom house. There’s a den (entertainment/TV room), a tiny master bedroom and directly next to it, another bedroom. The “living room” is a formal living room. We also have a dog and two cats that stress my boyfriend out because the cats always fight/play (ones a baby and ones a senior cat) and the dog is old so he’s becoming senile. It’s already cramped in here as it is and he wants to bring his dad in here essentially to die. We don’t have the space nor the time, that a dying person needs...

How can I [28M] convince my ex [25F] what I truly want to be with her?

I don’t want to go into a bunch of details so I’ll give you an abridged version of whole story. So this past summer my girlfriend went to Europe for a couple of months with her family. I didn’t want to be alone for the summer so I decided to get me a temporary summer girlfriend. I had the full intention of breaking up with her when the summer ended and my girlfriend came back home. I bonded a lot with the summer girl, at first she didn’t come across as someone super interesting or smart. But she was exactly that. I genuinely fell for her. But obviously I was in a a commuted relationship so I had to end it. It was a good breakup and didn’t get ugly or anything. The messed up part comes when my girlfriend came home and tells me we need to talk. I immediately knew what was coming. She dumped me. She said our time apart was the happiest she had been in a long time. Then she got up and walked away. I was hurt and heartbroken. I decided to reach out to my summer girlfriend and see if she ...

Should I (34M) estrange myself from family who (i think) loves me?

Me (34 y/o gay male) 4 brothers and their wives (36-46 y/o) Dad (dead) Mom (64 y/o not dead) My dad was a youth minister and was very good at his job. He really listened when people spoke to him and had deep connections with several people. Many of my friends looked up to his as a mentor and role model. He had this ability to inspire, connect, and relate to almost everyone he met and really preach with empathy. One of my brother's is an addict and my dad was instrumental in supporting him get clean from heroin. But being gay was totally different. When I came out it was pretty rough. I remember my dad said "you're a sinner and you will go to hell if you continue this lifestyle." My sexuality was the big rainbow colored elephant in the room. No one wanted to bring it up except for me. There was this big distance growing between me and my family so one day (I was 18) I said I was going to go to a college orientation, and instead I moved to Chicago (family in the bur...

I'm (F27) trying to rekindle friendship with an old crush (M27) but it's hard.

So I've known this guy for a little over a year and we used to be good friends. I had feelings for him and I think he did too, but at the time I didn't address it properly, things got awkward and we drifted apart. We're just acquaintances now. Although we haven't been in touch for many months I've been thinking about him and wish I could rekindle our friendship (not with a specific agenda in mind.) The thing is, I texted him and perhaps seemed too casual/confusing. Since it was out of the blue I texted him about some course he had done (I was nervous and didn't know how else to start). After we exchanged formalities, he asked about my course options, then I gave him a run down and he hasn't said anything after. I guess I didn't leave much to reply to but I was hoping we'd go forward from there? So I need help on how and what to text him to convey I actually want to talk to him and he's been on my mind (not about some course lol). Is it weird f...

The "I need more time to figure this out" situation

I (21F) met this guy (26M) online where we played games and talked for about half a year before established a connection (not official, we were taking things slowly). We were planning to meet each other this Christmas, and we already video called and voice called each other weekly. I came out from a badly-ended relationship with my ex, and so I avoided my ex for a while until we both agreed to resume the friendship, like, started to play games and talk again without yelling or talking trash about each other again. The reason is because me and my ex share the same circle of friends and there's no use trying to erase him from my life. We both hated each other a lot till recently we admitted that we have to grow up and stop letting our past relationship mingles into the conversation among our group of friends. This means that we endure each other while taking part in common activities with our mutual friends, and not intentionally seek the other one out. We don't want to get bac...

Need advice or thoughts on suspicious wife

I posted this in the women's advi e for men subreddit but getting no answers. Hoping someone here has thoughts: I'm a 38 y/o male married to a 33 y/o female. Married for 1.5 years. Been together for 3 total. She's had depression problems for missing her family since moving across the country 3+ years ago. Early in the relationship I found out she had previously dated (very shortly) someone I worked with just prior to us getting together. This wasn't known to me until 6 months after we started living together. He was a friend of mine who would hang out with us and she decided to tell me they were a couple before we met after he told her "you tell him or I do". I lost that friend after it became awkward for us and I decided it was before we were together so it's alright she did so, although I am still unsettled that it took that long for her to tell me and only because she had no choice. It bothers me to this day that she started our relationship with a b...

My (21F) grandmother passed away a year ago, and even thought my SO (23M) knows this and has heard me vent about it, he hasn't said a word about anything, and I don't know if I validate how it makes me feel

A year ago, my grandmother passed away. It was a long process; she began to suffer from dementia, her body was failing. I watched as she stopped being able to remember or recognize most of us. I've had other family members die before, but she was such a prominent mother figure for me that her death really hit me. I sat with her in hospice one day, near the end, and started playing some of her old music for her. I know she didn't know who I was at that point, but playing some of ABBA's songs, her eyes opened and she smiled, and I think that's the first time I've ever cried so hard due to happiness. Her death stretched on for a couple months. She died on September 26. In the year since then, it's been hectic, a lot of changes, and for the most part I think I've been handling her loss well, but I also think it's because I haven't spent too much time thinking about it. Typing out what I did nearly brought me to tears, and I know that I do still hurt b...

I [22F] am frequently uninterested in the stories my husband [24M] tells me.

I realize I'm at least mostly (if not entirely) in the wrong here, but I want to figure out what I should do. We've been married for 4 months and have been together for 2.3 years. We have really good conversations when we talk about stuff that interests both of us and can be discussed for a while (politics, religion, finances, etc.) I like topics like these because we generally agree but can play devil's advocate, rant, talk about the future or hypotheticals, basically have a discussion where both sides can have input and carry on. But a lot of the time he wants to talk about his computer games. He's especially excited about the one where you gather materials and build stuff (you know) and he's always talking about the house he's building on his island or whatever and how he wants to show his friends and they're going to think it's really cool. I don't know how to respond in any way that makes me sound interested. I don't care at all. He keep...

I'm (17F) is in LDR with my bf (17M) and I feel unsatisfied.

My boyfriend and I are in LDR but we were together for an entire year. I feel unsatisfied and I have communicated this feeling to him but nothing gets changed. I feel like in constantly nagging him for more time despite having so much on my plate. I try not to bother him too much during the day and try to talk to him in the evening and before sleeping. But I constantly feel like he doesnt prioritize the relationship. Watching a show goes first before having a conversation with me. Playing a video game goes first before me. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind this BUT he does everything during the time that we're supposed to catch up with each other and give each other love and all those cheesy things. When he does give the effort to respond, he sends "i love you. Wyd?" Every hour and its overwhelming. Is this just a phase that im experiencing? I know I need to mature up. I knew the costs that comes with being in a LDR. However, I'm having a hard time approachi...

Teenage Rebellion - Help a Guy (17M) Out

TL;DR - I (17M) have a fundamentalist mother and a father who, although not as fundamental, goes along with whatever restrictions she puts on me. I’m going to go insane in this household, and would like some advice towards college. What are some colleges that give good merit scholarships for out of state students? Preferably those that have a pre-med program? Also, how do I explain to them that I don’t want to leave because I want space from them, even though it’s the truth XD Okay, so my mother is a diehard fundamentalist with pride issues who also believes in conspiracy theories (antivaxxer, believes the gov’t can control the weather, believes in chem trails, believes we’re being poisoned, thinks we never landed on the moon, etc). She’s always right, and any deviation from her stances is considered rebellion/wrong. Also, I can’t do anything unless it’s with family, church, or academic related. For example, no movie theaters, no hanging out with friends, no dances (I actually just ...

Stepsons father came to house causing a scene. How do I handle this? Need advice.

TL;DR; Stepsons dad and I had an altercation. (not physical). Just need advise on how to go about this with the stepson. ​ So Ill start by saying I've been with the stepsons Mom for 7 years and he is 11. He is technically not my actual stepson as me and his mother are not married but I've heard him secretly call me his stepdad to friends and stuff before. His mother and her ex husband have 50/50 custody. Ill be honest we don't have the strongest bond, we have very few things in common and I try but it always just feels awkward a lot but to be honest I could probably try harder. He respects me and him and I have never raised a voice at each other and I have a bunch of time explained to him he is like my child and this home is as much his as his sisters (me and his moms child) and his mothers. I have sat him down and had talkings to him when he has done bad in school and explained to him how to be a responsible person (i consider myself responsible as i have never been in ...

Is this why dating is so f***ed for men?

https://imgur.com/a/r6cqIkk Even though the gender ratio is roughly 50/50, if you take age into account and only consider the 18-29 demographic, then virtually every single region of the US has a surplus of single men. I'm sure this dynamic goes beyond just the US and it's like this in most parts of the world especially places like China and India where the gender ratio is even more fucked. Seems like there will always be some percentage of the male population who ends up losing in the mating game. due to simple arithmetic... I guess that's why we're all here :( Submitted September 29, 2019 at 11:33PM https://ift.tt/2m7txgg though the gender ratio is roughly 50/50, if you take age into account and only consider the 18-29 demographic, then virtually every single region of the US has a surplus of single men. I'm sure this dynamic goes beyond just the US and it's like this in most parts of the world especially places like China and India where the gender ra...

How to strike up a conversation with a stranger

What are some good conversation topics so I can finally talk to this cute grocery clerk for the first time. Submitted September 30, 2019 at 12:04AM What are some good conversation topics so I can finally talk to this cute grocery clerk for the first time.

Feeling being used by girl I love

I am in love with this girl since a couple of years - She knows about it, I am completely invested in her. Her investment is nearly 0. She talks nicely/pays attention to my presence when she wants something out of me - need my help, suggestion, etc. Half of me knows that I am going to hurt myself badly, half of me still is in love with her. First half of me knows that she is using me to get her work(in life) done. Second half of me can't say no and runs to her whenever she needs me. I am stuck in life - tried staying away from her for like 10 months - she still stays on my mind. I am afraid I am screwing my life over this one girl who never saw me as person worthy of her love. Anyone gone through such experience in life ? Any tips are appreciated. Submitted September 30, 2019 at 12:12AM I am in love with this girl since a couple of years - She knows about it, I am completely invested in her. Her investment is nearly 0. She talks nicely/pays attention to my presence when she...

/u/HavePlushieWillTalk on Dating sites suck

Well if that is your opening line then you never had my interest. September 30, 2019 at 12:21AM

/u/Agent_Wilcox on How it feels being part of the 1% of the population that's asexual

Oh, well just gotta find your emotion that helps you with your anxiety I guess then. September 30, 2019 at 12:20AM

/u/Blysse102598 on I don't know if I'm asexual or not because I'm only attracted to fictional characters.

I think it’s comes down to being happy with the idea of sex rather than actually taking part. In our minds, nothing can go wrong and we can manipulate any outcome and action. In real life, it’s harder to control because there are real nerves and real people that you can’t control September 30, 2019 at 12:10AM

/u/chemical_shed on Honestly being ace is kinda lit

Same! When I see people in a relationship with an incredibly toxic person I just want to ask them "Is it really worth it!?" I would definitely prefer to be alone over being with someone who just makes mine and everyone else's lives miserable. September 30, 2019 at 12:04AM

/u/Shelbckay on Reposted from tumblr

I want to make flatbread September 29, 2019 at 11:58PM

/u/vickvischi on Cherish this feeling

That's when i start to read fanfiction about the book or end up here reading fan theories or both September 29, 2019 at 11:57PM

Should I forget her?

Hey so I'll do this quick. I like a girl with who I have been friend for a long time. I told her and asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime. Unsure response saying she doesn't like to take decisions. That's okay, I don't mind. Then I just asked her "Do you think it could work between us" and she answered "Idk". Before you answer, I absolutely love that girl. My weekends suck since I don't see her and I'm always thinking about her. I even dream about her. Its been 4-5 days of dreams with her in it, where we just talk and have fun and hug. I feel like I can't live without her and I find her absolutely gorgeous. What should I do. Submitted September 29, 2019 at 11:13PM Hey so I'll do this quick. I like a girl with who I have been friend for a long time. I told her and asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime. Unsure response saying she doesn't like to take decisions. That's okay, I don't mind. Then I just ask...

holding hands

I went on a date with a girl. We held hands ! What does it mean when a girl holds your hands. Submitted September 29, 2019 at 12:04AM I went on a date with a girl.We held hands ! What does it mean when a girl holds your hands.

Need help on how to proceed with this girl I met.

Hi everyone, I met this girl at my university a week ago and we exchanged Snaps w/ eachother. A couple days later, I messaged her only to meet her in person 5 minutes later at school. I'm don't know if I should shoot here a text or not. Idk what to say. Can anyone help? Comment below. Submitted September 29, 2019 at 12:05AM Hi everyone,I met this girl at my university a week ago and we exchanged Snaps w/ eachother. A couple days later, I messaged her only to meet her in person 5 minutes later at school.I'm don't know if I should shoot here a text or not. Idk what to say. Can anyone help?Comment below.

Do you prefer guys that are direct or that make small talk?

Women, do you believe that a guy you're talking to should be as direct about what his intentions are as possible and announce what he wants after a day or two of texting, or do you prefer that he take a week or two of small talk before trying to do anything? Also, do you think a week or two is a good time period or what would be better? Submitted September 29, 2019 at 12:08AM Women, do you believe that a guy you're talking to should be as direct about what his intentions are as possible and announce what he wants after a day or two of texting, or do you prefer that he take a week or two of small talk before trying to do anything? Also, do you think a week or two is a good time period or what would be better?

People need to start being honest about what they want

Sorry, this is a long one. A few months ago (June) I got talking to someone who I instantly clicked with and had things in common with. She told me that I was what she wanted and that she really liked me. Fast forward two weeks of talking and she wanted to hang out at mine on the Saturday night. Cool with me. She got nervous and didn't end coming to mine. What happened was that she messaged me saying she was drunk and was out in the cold thinking about her life. In the end I had to go look for her because I was worried she was gonna hurt herself. I took her back to her sister's house and I went home alone. We text each other that night and eventually we started sexting (something she initiated). We even agreed to meet up on the Monday. So far so good. Not gonna lie I genuinely liked her. Next morning she tells me she made a mistake, hat she was drunk and feels like a slut, that she's not ready for a relationship, she needs to work on herself and be a good mum, but that s...