Need advice or thoughts on suspicious wife

I posted this in the women's advi e for men subreddit but getting no answers. Hoping someone here has thoughts:

I'm a 38 y/o male married to a 33 y/o female. Married for 1.5 years. Been together for 3 total. She's had depression problems for missing her family since moving across the country 3+ years ago. Early in the relationship I found out she had previously dated (very shortly) someone I worked with just prior to us getting together. This wasn't known to me until 6 months after we started living together. He was a friend of mine who would hang out with us and she decided to tell me they were a couple before we met after he told her "you tell him or I do".

I lost that friend after it became awkward for us and I decided it was before we were together so it's alright she did so, although I am still unsettled that it took that long for her to tell me and only because she had no choice. It bothers me to this day that she started our relationship with a big secret to hide, but I tried to move on from it.

Since then, we separated briefly 1 month due to constant fights about her drinking issues (from the depression) and when we got back together her decision to be "transparent" with me while we were separated was by telling me she went on a few dates and met some guys. Again, understandable since we broke up for a month. She told me she had since blocked them on her phone and stopped talking to them. One important detail - she is extremely attractive and gets "admirers" wherever she goes.

She has trouble finding work and would give her phone number to random people, mostly men, telling them she wants work and needs a job. A few of them would call after hours like 11pm or later...

From there, she has had many random jobs that she will take, find something she doesn't enjoy about it and quit after a few months. She would blame me because I would ask normal questions like "who do you work with" or "why do you quit all your jobs so often"? I would pick her up from legitimate businesses so I know she was working there, even meeting coworkers a few times. She becomes quickly angry and defensive when asked normal questions any spouse would ask about her coworkers, job, etc.

In the last month, she took a job she got by meeting a stranger at the mall (30 y/o male) where she works from home taking calls like a call center job. She refused for weeks to share any details such as his name, how's she paid, etc. All I know is what she does. Our bank account began showing this guy deposit money of random amounts every 2 weeks or so.

She and her girlfriend went to the bar recently with this guy and refused to let me go or meet him. Any time I bring up his name (recently learned) she becomes defensive and dismissive, explaining she's just trying to be nice to this guy since "he's a loser" and needed company that night and she wanted to get out of the house.

In the last 2 weeks, I found a single wart on my genitals and she's been working a lot less. Less money from her job, but still finding places to go out with her friends for hours at a time. She's left town for "weekend getaways" with her girlfriend a few times. She snaps if I ask questions and 9/10 times I'm not invited to her get togethers "because I ruin her fun since I'm not very social". She cancels plans with me on occasion to hang out with her best friend instead.

Today I found a pair of men's gym socks in our laundry that doesn't belong to me. She has no explanation other than "the dog must have found them and brought them inside". Then she said "maybe they are mine. I don't know". She's also been going to numerous concerts getting free tickets and I end up dropping her and her girlfriend off at the venue since it's music I don't like. But of course it's only 2 tickets each time. One for her and the other for her girlfriend. These tickets are "free or cheap" depending on which girl I ask and they from "raffles or promotions".

I'm seriously considering an STD test. I'm leaving town for a few days soon and very concerned about what she will be doing while I'm gone. She's not really working these days and still goes out with this girlfriend. I'm needing thoughts, advice, whatever...

Tldr: wife has erratic behavior, drinking and depression issues, has been caught lying to me in the past, hangs out with people I don't know and I'm concerned I have an STD.

Submitted September 30, 2019 at 12:08AM

I posted this in the women's advi e for men subreddit but getting no answers. Hoping someone here has thoughts:I'm a 38 y/o male married to a 33 y/o female. Married for 1.5 years. Been together for 3 total. She's had depression problems for missing her family since moving across the country 3+ years ago. Early in the relationship I found out she had previously dated (very shortly) someone I worked with just prior to us getting together. This wasn't known to me until 6 months after we started living together. He was a friend of mine who would hang out with us and she decided to tell me they were a couple before we met after he told her "you tell him or I do".I lost that friend after it became awkward for us and I decided it was before we were together so it's alright she did so, although I am still unsettled that it took that long for her to tell me and only because she had no choice. It bothers me to this day that she started our relationship with a big secret to hide, but I tried to move on from it.Since then, we separated briefly 1 month due to constant fights about her drinking issues (from the depression) and when we got back together her decision to be "transparent" with me while we were separated was by telling me she went on a few dates and met some guys. Again, understandable since we broke up for a month. She told me she had since blocked them on her phone and stopped talking to them. One important detail - she is extremely attractive and gets "admirers" wherever she goes.She has trouble finding work and would give her phone number to random people, mostly men, telling them she wants work and needs a job. A few of them would call after hours like 11pm or later...From there, she has had many random jobs that she will take, find something she doesn't enjoy about it and quit after a few months. She would blame me because I would ask normal questions like "who do you work with" or "why do you quit all your jobs so often"? I would pick her up from legitimate businesses so I know she was working there, even meeting coworkers a few times. She becomes quickly angry and defensive when asked normal questions any spouse would ask about her coworkers, job, etc.In the last month, she took a job she got by meeting a stranger at the mall (30 y/o male) where she works from home taking calls like a call center job. She refused for weeks to share any details such as his name, how's she paid, etc. All I know is what she does. Our bank account began showing this guy deposit money of random amounts every 2 weeks or so.She and her girlfriend went to the bar recently with this guy and refused to let me go or meet him. Any time I bring up his name (recently learned) she becomes defensive and dismissive, explaining she's just trying to be nice to this guy since "he's a loser" and needed company that night and she wanted to get out of the house.In the last 2 weeks, I found a single wart on my genitals and she's been working a lot less. Less money from her job, but still finding places to go out with her friends for hours at a time. She's left town for "weekend getaways" with her girlfriend a few times. She snaps if I ask questions and 9/10 times I'm not invited to her get togethers "because I ruin her fun since I'm not very social". She cancels plans with me on occasion to hang out with her best friend instead.Today I found a pair of men's gym socks in our laundry that doesn't belong to me. She has no explanation other than "the dog must have found them and brought them inside". Then she said "maybe they are mine. I don't know". She's also been going to numerous concerts getting free tickets and I end up dropping her and her girlfriend off at the venue since it's music I don't like. But of course it's only 2 tickets each time. One for her and the other for her girlfriend. These tickets are "free or cheap" depending on which girl I ask and they from "raffles or promotions".I'm seriously considering an STD test. I'm leaving town for a few days soon and very concerned about what she will be doing while I'm gone. She's not really working these days and still goes out with this girlfriend. I'm needing thoughts, advice, whatever...Tldr: wife has erratic behavior, drinking and depression issues, has been caught lying to me in the past, hangs out with people I don't know and I'm concerned I have an STD.