My (21F) grandmother passed away a year ago, and even thought my SO (23M) knows this and has heard me vent about it, he hasn't said a word about anything, and I don't know if I validate how it makes me feel

A year ago, my grandmother passed away. It was a long process; she began to suffer from dementia, her body was failing. I watched as she stopped being able to remember or recognize most of us. I've had other family members die before, but she was such a prominent mother figure for me that her death really hit me. I sat with her in hospice one day, near the end, and started playing some of her old music for her. I know she didn't know who I was at that point, but playing some of ABBA's songs, her eyes opened and she smiled, and I think that's the first time I've ever cried so hard due to happiness. Her death stretched on for a couple months.

She died on September 26.

In the year since then, it's been hectic, a lot of changes, and for the most part I think I've been handling her loss well, but I also think it's because I haven't spent too much time thinking about it. Typing out what I did nearly brought me to tears, and I know that I do still hurt because of it, and I do miss her.

Only a few months ago, my SO and I were sitting out in Maui under the stars, and for the first time in a long time I opened up about my feelings around it and how I missed her so, so much. I cried. And he held me and listened to what I said and told me it was a good thing I was so strong.

Now it's been a year, and I made mention of how my family is having a dinner in her honor today, and how I made the cake that she always made. But he hasn't acknowledged any of that. He hasn't asked how I feel, or if I'm okay. And it's left me feeling... a little unseen. A little uncared about. A little disappointed.

What I can't wrap my head around is whether or not I'm even justified to feel that way. I'm a firm believer in not being mad at someone about something you haven't communicated, but in this case, it's not like it was necessarily a requirement. I think I thought that even as a basic courtesy (?) of sorts, this person who loves me and cares about me would ask how I'm doing on the anniversary of the death of a loved one that I didn't take that well in the first place.

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Looking for some perspective. Thanks.

INFO: My SO and I have been together approaching 2 years now.

TL;DR: It's been a year since my (21F) grandmother's death, and even though my SO (23M) knows this, he hasn't checked in with me at all about it and I don't know if I'm justified in feeling unseen/disappointed.

Submitted September 30, 2019 at 12:13AM

A year ago, my grandmother passed away. It was a long process; she began to suffer from dementia, her body was failing. I watched as she stopped being able to remember or recognize most of us. I've had other family members die before, but she was such a prominent mother figure for me that her death really hit me. I sat with her in hospice one day, near the end, and started playing some of her old music for her. I know she didn't know who I was at that point, but playing some of ABBA's songs, her eyes opened and she smiled, and I think that's the first time I've ever cried so hard due to happiness. Her death stretched on for a couple months.She died on September 26.In the year since then, it's been hectic, a lot of changes, and for the most part I think I've been handling her loss well, but I also think it's because I haven't spent too much time thinking about it. Typing out what I did nearly brought me to tears, and I know that I do still hurt because of it, and I do miss her.Only a few months ago, my SO and I were sitting out in Maui under the stars, and for the first time in a long time I opened up about my feelings around it and how I missed her so, so much. I cried. And he held me and listened to what I said and told me it was a good thing I was so strong.Now it's been a year, and I made mention of how my family is having a dinner in her honor today, and how I made the cake that she always made. But he hasn't acknowledged any of that. He hasn't asked how I feel, or if I'm okay. And it's left me feeling... a little unseen. A little uncared about. A little disappointed.What I can't wrap my head around is whether or not I'm even justified to feel that way. I'm a firm believer in not being mad at someone about something you haven't communicated, but in this case, it's not like it was necessarily a requirement. I think I thought that even as a basic courtesy (?) of sorts, this person who loves me and cares about me would ask how I'm doing on the anniversary of the death of a loved one that I didn't take that well in the first place.​Looking for some perspective. Thanks.INFO: My SO and I have been together approaching 2 years now.TL;DR: It's been a year since my (21F) grandmother's death, and even though my SO (23M) knows this, he hasn't checked in with me at all about it and I don't know if I'm justified in feeling unseen/disappointed.