My (24f) boyfriend (34M) wants to move his dad in when he starts to die.. don’t know what to do.

So my boyfriend and I have been together a year and we live together. Well today, he mentioned how his 70 year old dad is getting old and wants him to come live with us (eventually) until he dies.

His dad is married but the wife is crazy and doesn’t want him living with her but yet wants his financial support. It’s a weird situation that I’m not fully aware of.

I guess my “issue” with this is: we have a small house that we’re currently remodeling. Even with just the two of us it feels like a one bedroom house. There’s a den (entertainment/TV room), a tiny master bedroom and directly next to it, another bedroom. The “living room” is a formal living room. We also have a dog and two cats that stress my boyfriend out because the cats always fight/play (ones a baby and ones a senior cat) and the dog is old so he’s becoming senile. It’s already cramped in here as it is and he wants to bring his dad in here essentially to die. We don’t have the space nor the time, that a dying person needs.

I understand completely that it’s his dad. I made the suggestion of an assisted living home or maybe a retirement community. It was met with hostility and “if you felt about your dad the way I do mine... you’d understand,” insinuating that I don’t love my dad as much as he loves his. This stung honestly. But if it were my dad, I would do EXACTLY what I suggested. Because I would want my dad to be cared for properly. Also, a big factor too, that’s an uncomfortable situation for my partner. When they moved in, they didn’t sign up to live with my dying parent (I know that probably sounds shallow but I promise I’m not meaning for it to be).

I just seriously don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to talk to him in a respectful manner about it but I’m met with rudeness. I even mentioned what if we had kids at the time? And he said “but we don’t.” To which I said “yes but what if we did...”. because that would make the situation so much more stressful for everybody involved.

I feel like I’m being made out to be the bad guy and I don’t know what else to do in this situation.

TLDR; boyfriend wants to move dad in when he starts to die. I don’t think it’s the best idea for all of us.

Submitted September 29, 2019 at 11:40PM

So my boyfriend and I have been together a year and we live together. Well today, he mentioned how his 70 year old dad is getting old and wants him to come live with us (eventually) until he dies.His dad is married but the wife is crazy and doesn’t want him living with her but yet wants his financial support. It’s a weird situation that I’m not fully aware of.I guess my “issue” with this is: we have a small house that we’re currently remodeling. Even with just the two of us it feels like a one bedroom house. There’s a den (entertainment/TV room), a tiny master bedroom and directly next to it, another bedroom. The “living room” is a formal living room. We also have a dog and two cats that stress my boyfriend out because the cats always fight/play (ones a baby and ones a senior cat) and the dog is old so he’s becoming senile. It’s already cramped in here as it is and he wants to bring his dad in here essentially to die. We don’t have the space nor the time, that a dying person needs.I understand completely that it’s his dad. I made the suggestion of an assisted living home or maybe a retirement community. It was met with hostility and “if you felt about your dad the way I do mine... you’d understand,” insinuating that I don’t love my dad as much as he loves his. This stung honestly. But if it were my dad, I would do EXACTLY what I suggested. Because I would want my dad to be cared for properly. Also, a big factor too, that’s an uncomfortable situation for my partner. When they moved in, they didn’t sign up to live with my dying parent (I know that probably sounds shallow but I promise I’m not meaning for it to be).I just seriously don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to talk to him in a respectful manner about it but I’m met with rudeness. I even mentioned what if we had kids at the time? And he said “but we don’t.” To which I said “yes but what if we did...”. because that would make the situation so much more stressful for everybody involved.I feel like I’m being made out to be the bad guy and I don’t know what else to do in this situation.TLDR; boyfriend wants to move dad in when he starts to die. I don’t think it’s the best idea for all of us.