People need to start being honest about what they want

Sorry, this is a long one.

A few months ago (June) I got talking to someone who I instantly clicked with and had things in common with. She told me that I was what she wanted and that she really liked me. Fast forward two weeks of talking and she wanted to hang out at mine on the Saturday night. Cool with me. She got nervous and didn't end coming to mine. What happened was that she messaged me saying she was drunk and was out in the cold thinking about her life. In the end I had to go look for her because I was worried she was gonna hurt herself.

I took her back to her sister's house and I went home alone. We text each other that night and eventually we started sexting (something she initiated). We even agreed to meet up on the Monday. So far so good. Not gonna lie I genuinely liked her. Next morning she tells me she made a mistake, hat she was drunk and feels like a slut, that she's not ready for a relationship, she needs to work on herself and be a good mum, but that she still wanted to be friends. Fine, I was cool with that, I was happy being friends with her.

We spoke as friends up until a few weeks ago when she basically made a post on Facebook complaining about always being there to help people and how no one is there to help her. I got pissed off at this and confronted her about it, about how I helped her that night. I basically told her that I was hurt by how she led me on saying she wanted to be with me and then the next morning changing her mind, she was trying to flip it around saying she was always honest with me about what she wanted which was a blatant fucking lie. She told me that she couldn't love anyone if she couldn't love herself.

Today? She's in a relationship with another guy. It's not the fact that she's in a relationship that bothers me, it's that she lied about it. I'm not a jealous person. If she had been honest with me and said she didn't want with me, I would have accepted that. I'd be happy for her today. But she actually said she didn't want one at all. That's what fucking hurts the most. The fact I got lied to.

Seriously, men, women, be fucking honest about what you want. Don't string someone along only to hurt them. Don't tell them they're what you want if they're really not. Don't lie to why you don't want to be with them and pass it off as sparing their feelings, when really it's your own feelings your sparing, because I can guarantee you people appreciate being told the truth more than finding out you were lying to them.

If you want a relationship, but realise you don't want it with a specific man / woman you've been talking to: FUCKING SAY SO, BE HONEST WITH THEM! Don't spout off the ''it's not you, it's me'' line. Tell them that you do want a relationship, just not with them and if they can't handle it, it's their problem.

Point is, don't lie to someone, be honest. But if you are gonna lie, stop pretending you're lying to spare their feelings, when it's actually yours you're sparing. I'd rather be told I'm not what someone wants than being told you're not ready for a relationship only to then see that you're in one. That shit hurts more.

Rant over.



Submitted September 29, 2019 at 12:12AM

Sorry, this is a long one.A few months ago (June) I got talking to someone who I instantly clicked with and had things in common with. She told me that I was what she wanted and that she really liked me. Fast forward two weeks of talking and she wanted to hang out at mine on the Saturday night. Cool with me. She got nervous and didn't end coming to mine. What happened was that she messaged me saying she was drunk and was out in the cold thinking about her life. In the end I had to go look for her because I was worried she was gonna hurt herself.I took her back to her sister's house and I went home alone. We text each other that night and eventually we started sexting (something she initiated). We even agreed to meet up on the Monday. So far so good. Not gonna lie I genuinely liked her. Next morning she tells me she made a mistake, hat she was drunk and feels like a slut, that she's not ready for a relationship, she needs to work on herself and be a good mum, but that she still wanted to be friends. Fine, I was cool with that, I was happy being friends with her.We spoke as friends up until a few weeks ago when she basically made a post on Facebook complaining about always being there to help people and how no one is there to help her. I got pissed off at this and confronted her about it, about how I helped her that night. I basically told her that I was hurt by how she led me on saying she wanted to be with me and then the next morning changing her mind, she was trying to flip it around saying she was always honest with me about what she wanted which was a blatant fucking lie. She told me that she couldn't love anyone if she couldn't love herself.Today? She's in a relationship with another guy. It's not the fact that she's in a relationship that bothers me, it's that she lied about it. I'm not a jealous person. If she had been honest with me and said she didn't want with me, I would have accepted that. I'd be happy for her today. But she actually said she didn't want one at all. That's what fucking hurts the most. The fact I got lied to.Seriously, men, women, be fucking honest about what you want. Don't string someone along only to hurt them. Don't tell them they're what you want if they're really not. Don't lie to why you don't want to be with them and pass it off as sparing their feelings, when really it's your own feelings your sparing, because I can guarantee you people appreciate being told the truth more than finding out you were lying to them.If you want a relationship, but realise you don't want it with a specific man / woman you've been talking to: FUCKING SAY SO, BE HONEST WITH THEM! Don't spout off the ''it's not you, it's me'' line. Tell them that you do want a relationship, just not with them and if they can't handle it, it's their problem.Point is, don't lie to someone, be honest. But if you are gonna lie, stop pretending you're lying to spare their feelings, when it's actually yours you're sparing. I'd rather be told I'm not what someone wants than being told you're not ready for a relationship only to then see that you're in one. That shit hurts more.Rant over.
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