Should I [20F] stick around and wait for him [23M] to get over his ex?

Around a month and a half ago, I met this awesome guy. We’re both college students at the same school sticking around campus for the summer, working in the same research lab. I thought he was cute, but never thought anything would happen between us. We talked a bunch at work and got along super well, but he couldn’t be into me... right?

Then we matched on tinder. That’s when things started getting interesting— at first we both had a good laugh, but I eventually worked up the courage to ask if he’d be down to grab coffee sometime. We got lunch, saw a movie a couple days later, and ended up back at his place. He asked if I was into him, I flipped the question back at him, and long story short I ended up staying the night. I got introduced to his friends a few days after that. Things were going well! We found out that although we come across as pretty different, we’re similar in a lot of ways. Even got on to the discussion of career goals and discovered we were similar in that regard.

Today, we met up and he brought up that he wasn’t entirely over his ex and wasn’t sure about pursuing anything romantic. He said that I’m an amazing person but he felt wrong not telling me. I’m not sure what to do at this point. I wasn’t actively looking for anything super serious off the bat, but here I am upset that this might not be going any further. I want to keep getting to know him because I think he’s generally a great person and we’re getting to be pretty good friends.

I’ve also come to the realization that I’d be willing to wait for him to get over his ex. I’m not sure if that’s a great move on my part. I’ve been casually dating around for a while (around a year— it took me a bit to get over my last serious relationship) but stopped when things kicked up with this guy. I don’t really see myself dating anyone else now, even casually.

I just don’t wanna wait around for something that’s never gonna happen. I think he and I would make a great pair... it really seems like a “right person, wrong time” scenario... but do I bother waiting? Obviously I’m not gonna be like... waiting at this guy’s door step and constantly begging him to date me, but should I put my casual dating life on hold since I’m clearly still interested in him?



Submitted July 12, 2019 at 11:58PM

Around a month and a half ago, I met this awesome guy. We’re both college students at the same school sticking around campus for the summer, working in the same research lab. I thought he was cute, but never thought anything would happen between us. We talked a bunch at work and got along super well, but he couldn’t be into me... right?Then we matched on tinder. That’s when things started getting interesting— at first we both had a good laugh, but I eventually worked up the courage to ask if he’d be down to grab coffee sometime. We got lunch, saw a movie a couple days later, and ended up back at his place. He asked if I was into him, I flipped the question back at him, and long story short I ended up staying the night. I got introduced to his friends a few days after that. Things were going well! We found out that although we come across as pretty different, we’re similar in a lot of ways. Even got on to the discussion of career goals and discovered we were similar in that regard.Today, we met up and he brought up that he wasn’t entirely over his ex and wasn’t sure about pursuing anything romantic. He said that I’m an amazing person but he felt wrong not telling me. I’m not sure what to do at this point. I wasn’t actively looking for anything super serious off the bat, but here I am upset that this might not be going any further. I want to keep getting to know him because I think he’s generally a great person and we’re getting to be pretty good friends.I’ve also come to the realization that I’d be willing to wait for him to get over his ex. I’m not sure if that’s a great move on my part. I’ve been casually dating around for a while (around a year— it took me a bit to get over my last serious relationship) but stopped when things kicked up with this guy. I don’t really see myself dating anyone else now, even casually.I just don’t wanna wait around for something that’s never gonna happen. I think he and I would make a great pair... it really seems like a “right person, wrong time” scenario... but do I bother waiting? Obviously I’m not gonna be like... waiting at this guy’s door step and constantly begging him to date me, but should I put my casual dating life on hold since I’m clearly still interested in him?
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