How to stop obsessing over guy I've been dating for over 3 months and not even exclusive?

I (28F) met a guy (30M) on Tinder over 3 months ago. Things were great, even though we're both busy, live an hour away and he's in law school.

Initially, I told him how I like my own space a lot. So we text once a day and meet once a week. I haven't met his friends but mine seem to like him.

Over the past month, things were a little stressful due to my own work and the fact that he went on holiday for 2 weeks without mentioning exclusivity. We had started sleeping without a condom (I'm taking BC) but I naively thought that would be a subtle hint towards him being exclusive.

Whilst he was away, he did text here and there but I couldn't help but wonder if he was meeting other women in the romantic sense. He's back but has a major exam in a few days, so I didn't want to mention anything just yet.

When we text, even though its everyday, we talk about everything except for our feelings for each other. At this point, I don't even know if he misses me, saw other people or is just happy with us seeing each other casually until someone better comes along. I suggested a call but that hasnt happened. I'd like to have the exclusivity chat but at the same time, I've always thought if a guy wants you, he will lock you down asap.

So, I've tried doing everything to keep busy. This even includes going back on Tinder to go on that first date but I can't stop thinking about him when speaking to someone else.

Guys, do you have any advise on how to distract yourself or be less attached to the person when in limbo? :)

Tl;Dr in limbo with a guy I've been dating for over 3 months. Not had the exclusive chat yet but how do I be less attached to him?



Submitted July 12, 2019 at 10:38PM

I (28F) met a guy (30M) on Tinder over 3 months ago. Things were great, even though we're both busy, live an hour away and he's in law school.Initially, I told him how I like my own space a lot. So we text once a day and meet once a week. I haven't met his friends but mine seem to like him.Over the past month, things were a little stressful due to my own work and the fact that he went on holiday for 2 weeks without mentioning exclusivity. We had started sleeping without a condom (I'm taking BC) but I naively thought that would be a subtle hint towards him being exclusive.Whilst he was away, he did text here and there but I couldn't help but wonder if he was meeting other women in the romantic sense. He's back but has a major exam in a few days, so I didn't want to mention anything just yet.When we text, even though its everyday, we talk about everything except for our feelings for each other. At this point, I don't even know if he misses me, saw other people or is just happy with us seeing each other casually until someone better comes along. I suggested a call but that hasnt happened. I'd like to have the exclusivity chat but at the same time, I've always thought if a guy wants you, he will lock you down asap.So, I've tried doing everything to keep busy. This even includes going back on Tinder to go on that first date but I can't stop thinking about him when speaking to someone else.Guys, do you have any advise on how to distract yourself or be less attached to the person when in limbo? :)Tl;Dr in limbo with a guy I've been dating for over 3 months. Not had the exclusive chat yet but how do I be less attached to him?
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