Does fear really push away honesty?

TL;DR at bottom

Mobile apologies

I (33M) recently found out from friends of a girl(28) I had been with for 9 months or so that she had been cheating for quite some time during the relationship. Our kids had a great relationship with each other, I treated her daughter(7) as my own. I tried to help as much as possible when my gf got sick (genetic clotting?)

Me and my kids showed up unannounced to bring her some get well stuff and she answered the door in a panic and her daughter attempted to come outside and was hurriedly shoved back towards her room. That night stood out and she claimed she had some weed out and didnt want the kids to see. Her friends let me know it was actually a guy in house with her and her daughter. My kids were confused by her muttering and the door being closed in our face. She still came around a lot and apologized to my kids, and always was so nice to them.

Eventually I felt something was wrong and she didn't want to date anymore but she was adamant we stay friends. I told her I couldn't do that, I wasnt mentally strong enough to be friends with an ex. She cried and left, told her friends I wouldn't date her and put on a show. Which is when I was visited by two of them and cleared things up with texts between me and her. That's when they let me know that she had been cheating on me with several people and her daughter seemed distraught. They were convinced we weren't together by her which the texts showed otherwise. I just wonder what would drive a person to demand very open honesty, yet not have the strength to say they are not happy. Is it fear of being alone? I feel horrible for her daughter and miss her a lot and so do my kids. I purposely waited months for an introduction to avoid exposing my kids to sadness. I want to feel angry but I'm just sad at this point. Why would she put her daughter through this? I'm ranting. Thanks for reading.

TL;DR

Ex gf was cheating through relationship, her friends outed her, exposed daughter to multiple men while also bringing her to visit me and my kids and stay the night. I'm upset, my kids are upset. Why do people do this?



Submitted July 12, 2019 at 10:08PM

TL;DR at bottomMobile apologiesI (33M) recently found out from friends of a girl(28) I had been with for 9 months or so that she had been cheating for quite some time during the relationship. Our kids had a great relationship with each other, I treated her daughter(7) as my own. I tried to help as much as possible when my gf got sick (genetic clotting?)Me and my kids showed up unannounced to bring her some get well stuff and she answered the door in a panic and her daughter attempted to come outside and was hurriedly shoved back towards her room. That night stood out and she claimed she had some weed out and didnt want the kids to see. Her friends let me know it was actually a guy in house with her and her daughter. My kids were confused by her muttering and the door being closed in our face. She still came around a lot and apologized to my kids, and always was so nice to them.Eventually I felt something was wrong and she didn't want to date anymore but she was adamant we stay friends. I told her I couldn't do that, I wasnt mentally strong enough to be friends with an ex. She cried and left, told her friends I wouldn't date her and put on a show. Which is when I was visited by two of them and cleared things up with texts between me and her. That's when they let me know that she had been cheating on me with several people and her daughter seemed distraught. They were convinced we weren't together by her which the texts showed otherwise. I just wonder what would drive a person to demand very open honesty, yet not have the strength to say they are not happy. Is it fear of being alone? I feel horrible for her daughter and miss her a lot and so do my kids. I purposely waited months for an introduction to avoid exposing my kids to sadness. I want to feel angry but I'm just sad at this point. Why would she put her daughter through this? I'm ranting. Thanks for reading.TL;DREx gf was cheating through relationship, her friends outed her, exposed daughter to multiple men while also bringing her to visit me and my kids and stay the night. I'm upset, my kids are upset. Why do people do this?
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