Long distance relationship on the brink of breaking up..

I could really use a different perspective.. Me [M26] and my so [F25] are having a tough time with our long distance relationship of about 2,5 years.. The problem is we love eachother a lot, but it is significantly hard to be very involved in eachothers lifes.. Those who have had or have a long-distance relationship I want to ask you how do you involve or share your life the best with your so?? We don't want it to be a chore tho..

Besides that we discussed our future plans during a recent visit. We'be discuss this more often but usually we had always said that we didn't mind where we would live and work if we just were together. The most recent visit made us realize that we had way different vision on our future. It surprised me a lot that my plans involves finishing college early 2020 and then getting a job where we finally could be moving closer together. Her plans are more focused on moving even further across Europe to finish her master's thesis in 2021. After that she's interested to get a PhD where she would move across Europe again but not close by.. If she's not doing that, she wants to move closer to her parents which is understandable.. what's just baffling me is that there's no thought of moving closer together on her part.. It seems to me that she will not think about the future as a couple.. Did anyone came across a similar struggle and how did it end up?

For now we're taken a few weeks to think about if we should continue with our relationship or not.. Would love to hear some advice!

TL;DR My SO and I love eachother but are having trouble being a part of eachothers daily lives and our future plans aren't aligned.. We're taking time to think things we might break up..would love to get some advice on how to solve these issues.



Submitted July 28, 2019 at 11:09PM

I could really use a different perspective.. Me [M26] and my so [F25] are having a tough time with our long distance relationship of about 2,5 years.. The problem is we love eachother a lot, but it is significantly hard to be very involved in eachothers lifes.. Those who have had or have a long-distance relationship I want to ask you how do you involve or share your life the best with your so?? We don't want it to be a chore tho..Besides that we discussed our future plans during a recent visit. We'be discuss this more often but usually we had always said that we didn't mind where we would live and work if we just were together. The most recent visit made us realize that we had way different vision on our future. It surprised me a lot that my plans involves finishing college early 2020 and then getting a job where we finally could be moving closer together. Her plans are more focused on moving even further across Europe to finish her master's thesis in 2021. After that she's interested to get a PhD where she would move across Europe again but not close by.. If she's not doing that, she wants to move closer to her parents which is understandable.. what's just baffling me is that there's no thought of moving closer together on her part.. It seems to me that she will not think about the future as a couple.. Did anyone came across a similar struggle and how did it end up?For now we're taken a few weeks to think about if we should continue with our relationship or not.. Would love to hear some advice!TL;DR My SO and I love eachother but are having trouble being a part of eachothers daily lives and our future plans aren't aligned.. We're taking time to think things we might break up..would love to get some advice on how to solve these issues.
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