I[24M] am starting to have feelings for my co-worker[23F] even though she has a boyfriend.

Recently my co-worker and I have been getting rather close. Up until a week ago, i thought of her only as a friend. We have been working together for about 2.5 years now. We usually tend to have some pretty deep and interesting conversations and she doesn't really think before she speaks. She would tell a complete stranger some very personal info which she has done in the past.

She has been dating this guy for a long time, about 5 years or so. I think he's 23 as well. She tells me all about her relationship with him. If he's been quiet, if he's good in bed. There are no boundaries with what she tells me and not just me either. She just says whatever comes to mind I think. (This will be important later)

She often tells me that she's having problems with how her boyfriend acts around her and that their sex life is deescalating. It seems like they have sex once every 3 weeks. She tells me she needs more but he's always so tired and doesn't want to make a big deal out of it. Yes I know way more than most should about another person's sex life, however she also knows quite a bit about my history as well.

He is a really nice guy but very quiet. I actually like him a lot and we could probably be good friends if we wanted. She often says we are very similar in many ways and we share a few common interests.

Most of the time, I keep my emotions pretty in check. I think because she has a boyfriend, I never allowed myself to think of her anymore than just a friend but just last week she admitted that she "had" feelings for me when she was going through a rough patch with her boyfriend. She almost broke up with him over it. She continued to tell me that I had some qualities that she wished her boyfriend had. At the time I just took it as a bit of a compliment and we continued chatting. I'm not sure when she was having these feelings either, if it was early in our relationship or if it was fairly recent.

A few days later, it gets brought up in conversation again and she even asked that if she was single, would I date her. I said yes, but I think that dating co-workers could get messy. She then told me that she could probably date me if she was single, though she brought up that she might have a problem with me being a bit arrogant. I do tend to come off as a bit arrogant at times because I like to use jokes and sarcasm a lot. Mostly for humour though.

After it was brought up for the second time, I started to think maybe there was more to it and I started seeing her in a different way. Not just as a friend but as a possible relationship. Now I have no idea what to think. I don't want to get in the way of a long term relationship but I can't stop thinking about if we were together. If her boyfriend was an abusive dick, I wouldn't have a problem but he's a really nice guy and has never treated her badly. He just maybe doesn't put in as much effort as he should.

I don't know if she was just spouting off more random stuff before she even had time to think or if maybe she was trying to assess if I was potentially interested in her. She had even told me in the past that she would "train me up" if she was single as I am rather sexually inexperienced. There have been some other conversations about that sort of thing too so it's not exactly an isolated incident.

If anyone else has had a similar experience or have any advice, it would be very welcome. I know I should probably forget the whole thing and move on but I am curious as to what other people think I should do or would do if they were in a similar situation.

I should also mention that she is currently looking for another job as our manager is an incompetent, selfish ass. I will also be looking for another job at the end of the year so the whole dating co-workers thing would be a non issue in a few months.

Thanks for reading the essay if you got this far. It's my first ever post on reddit.

TL;DR I'm having feelings for a co-worker who is in a relationship but may possibly also have feelings for me based on what she has said.

Submitted July 29, 2019 at 12:00AM

Recently my co-worker and I have been getting rather close. Up until a week ago, i thought of her only as a friend. We have been working together for about 2.5 years now. We usually tend to have some pretty deep and interesting conversations and she doesn't really think before she speaks. She would tell a complete stranger some very personal info which she has done in the past.She has been dating this guy for a long time, about 5 years or so. I think he's 23 as well. She tells me all about her relationship with him. If he's been quiet, if he's good in bed. There are no boundaries with what she tells me and not just me either. She just says whatever comes to mind I think. (This will be important later)She often tells me that she's having problems with how her boyfriend acts around her and that their sex life is deescalating. It seems like they have sex once every 3 weeks. She tells me she needs more but he's always so tired and doesn't want to make a big deal out of it. Yes I know way more than most should about another person's sex life, however she also knows quite a bit about my history as well.He is a really nice guy but very quiet. I actually like him a lot and we could probably be good friends if we wanted. She often says we are very similar in many ways and we share a few common interests.Most of the time, I keep my emotions pretty in check. I think because she has a boyfriend, I never allowed myself to think of her anymore than just a friend but just last week she admitted that she "had" feelings for me when she was going through a rough patch with her boyfriend. She almost broke up with him over it. She continued to tell me that I had some qualities that she wished her boyfriend had. At the time I just took it as a bit of a compliment and we continued chatting. I'm not sure when she was having these feelings either, if it was early in our relationship or if it was fairly recent.A few days later, it gets brought up in conversation again and she even asked that if she was single, would I date her. I said yes, but I think that dating co-workers could get messy. She then told me that she could probably date me if she was single, though she brought up that she might have a problem with me being a bit arrogant. I do tend to come off as a bit arrogant at times because I like to use jokes and sarcasm a lot. Mostly for humour though.After it was brought up for the second time, I started to think maybe there was more to it and I started seeing her in a different way. Not just as a friend but as a possible relationship. Now I have no idea what to think. I don't want to get in the way of a long term relationship but I can't stop thinking about if we were together. If her boyfriend was an abusive dick, I wouldn't have a problem but he's a really nice guy and has never treated her badly. He just maybe doesn't put in as much effort as he should.I don't know if she was just spouting off more random stuff before she even had time to think or if maybe she was trying to assess if I was potentially interested in her. She had even told me in the past that she would "train me up" if she was single as I am rather sexually inexperienced. There have been some other conversations about that sort of thing too so it's not exactly an isolated incident.If anyone else has had a similar experience or have any advice, it would be very welcome. I know I should probably forget the whole thing and move on but I am curious as to what other people think I should do or would do if they were in a similar situation.I should also mention that she is currently looking for another job as our manager is an incompetent, selfish ass. I will also be looking for another job at the end of the year so the whole dating co-workers thing would be a non issue in a few months.Thanks for reading the essay if you got this far. It's my first ever post on reddit.TL;DR I'm having feelings for a co-worker who is in a relationship but may possibly also have feelings for me based on what she has said.