I work book retail so no sex products, but we carry books on sex and have carried Penthouse mags in the past and i've always been one of the least awkward of my coworkers with them because i just mostly Don't Care. So if a customer leaves a penthouse in the men's bathroom or something i'm fine taking it and throwing it away, when other coworkers get really upset/grossed out. Only times I feel a little embarrassed are when a customer spends forever looking through sex books or there was a time when I checked out a coworker who was buying a sex book and I felt a little awkward haha. November 30, 2023 at 11:14PM

You’re welcome! :) November 30, 2023 at 11:12PM

Thank your for this information 😭💙 November 30, 2023 at 11:08PM

Ace and aro people aren’t lonely just because they don’t want s*x or a relationship November 30, 2023 at 11:07PM

I work overseas on expedition cruise ships and in research. I find it impossible to make friends on contracts because they all want something more and in most cases just want to hook up and actually have no respect for you as a human. To be honest I am not a hook up kind of girl and the work environment and I am in is. I don't want to quit my lifestyle but I really dream of having a family someday and I feel my clock ticking. Also I really just want to date a best friend and go on adventures together not looking for looks or money never been that type of girl either but i keep ending up with people who have no respect for me. I wanted to know apps or best advice for these environments to find people who actually want to date not people who say they do just to try to sleep with you. Feel like I will only find that though if I switch my career... ​ Submitted November 30, 2023 at 12:15AM I work overseas on expedition cruise ships and in research. I find it impossible to make f

You're definitely aromantic, but we need more info to see if you're ace. Sexual attraction is seeing a person (and maybe getting to know them a bit) and wanting to have sex with them. If you feel that regularly, you're allo, if not, you're ace. November 28, 2023 at 11:08PM

Can't relate unfortunately, but wanted to point our that it's even worse for men than for women. Men are doubly expected to be promiscuous and want sex even more, and all of this because of gender roles and society's expectations to have sex! November 28, 2023 at 11:06PM

I suppose you could think of it that way if that’s what works for you. Though I personally wouldn’t consider body worship and sex as inherently the same thing. There’s certainly some overlap, sure, and you could definitely treat sex as an act of body worship if you’d like to. I adore deep, spiritual connection. Not unlike what you describe, engaging all the senses. But I’m also sex-averse, so do with that what you will. November 27, 2023 at 11:23PM

For me, yes (trans men btw). But I don't understand why someone being trans is linked to an asexual November 27, 2023 at 11:22PM

Gray-ace here. Freaking horrifying when it happens and you're not prepared for it. Genuinely thought I was going crazy for a while there November 26, 2023 at 11:13PM

I’m (33F) seeing this guy (36M) for two months almost. We were messing around the other day and he teased me about something and I acted like I was going to smack him. To which he replied, “I love you”. We have never said this to one another, but he said it like it was the most natural thing. I said, “what did you just say?” He said it was an accident and not to read into it. What? How can I not read into it? I don’t see him as the kind of guy that throws ‘I love you’ around. Is this how he really feels? Maybe he’s just not ready to say it to me? Or was it really some slip of the tongue? I can’t tell. I tried to ask him about it but he made a joke like he didn’t really want to delve into it. Submitted November 26, 2023 at 12:15AM I’m (33F) seeing this guy (36M) for two months almost. We were messing around the other day and he teased me about something and I acted like I was going to smack him. To which he replied, “I love you”. We have never said this to one another, but he sa

That is an amazing presentation, very well done! Thank you! November 24, 2023 at 11:30PM

I'm 22 and am by no means ready November 24, 2023 at 11:30PM

I am afraid to call them out, they can act rather explosively at times, especially when you tell them they are wrong. Thank you for the reply! November 24, 2023 at 11:26PM

I struggle the most in the gay community I feel that. I want to engage with the pan aspect of my identity more, but a lot of the gay community seems to focus on sex specifically and it's annoying. Because so many people's romantic identity matches their sexuality, there's not spaces for queer romanticism that don't frequently cross over into sexuality. In contrast there are tons of spaces about hetero romance that don't focus on sex and at most occasionally allude to it. November 24, 2023 at 11:24PM

Here wondering the same. November 23, 2023 at 11:11PM

I think that's because allos go into a relationship because of sexual attraction. While asexuals don't have that extra noise, so our selection is more oriented towards long lasting stuff like personality, morals, etc November 22, 2023 at 11:32PM

I really like this reply. A lot of people feel a need to be physically and sexually desired and not having that can hurt. Either you two can figure out a way to compensate for that need not being filled or, as this commenter says, maybe you’re simply not compatible sexually. You could explore ethically non-monogamous relationships or understand that this is a barrier that maybe can’t be reconciled November 22, 2023 at 11:31PM

So I matched with this girl on a dating app, and we’ve been talking for a couple weeks now. We were gonna try and make plans to go out on a date but with thanksgiving this weekend that made it a challenge. All of a sudden she says and I quote “Soo...I am always honest to a fault so I need you to know that I do need to ask for a little space for a little bit. I am not ghosting you which is why I am telling you this. I just need some space. I hope you understand. I'm also asking for patience.”. What should I do? I wanna give her space cause I enjoy talking to her, and we’ve been talking every single day. Just looking for advice on what to do. Submitted November 22, 2023 at 12:13AM So I matched with this girl on a dating app, and we’ve been talking for a couple weeks now. We were gonna try and make plans to go out on a date but with thanksgiving this weekend that made it a challenge. All of a sudden she says and I quote “Soo...I am always honest to a fault so I need you to know

I want to have a romantic attraction but I just can't find myself feeling like that I guess. November 20, 2023 at 10:54PM

For context I’m new to this dating world, I find it very hard talking to people face to face so I decided to try online dating. I recently started talking with this guy who wouldn’t talk that much on text, but when we’re on call he wouldn’t shut up. I asked him about it and he says it’s because he doesn’t talk that much in general he’s more of a “listener”. I understand that, but a friend of mine joked about maybe he’s hiding something and doesn’t want leaked chats. Am I overthinking? HELP! Submitted November 20, 2023 at 12:01AM For context I’m new to this dating world, I find it very hard talking to people face to face so I decided to try online dating. I recently started talking with this guy who wouldn’t talk that much on text, but when we’re on call he wouldn’t shut up. I asked him about it and he says it’s because he doesn’t talk that much in general he’s more of a “listener”. I understand that, but a friend of mine joked about maybe he’s hiding something and doesn’t want l

Throwaway account. I started talking to this guy in September, went out with him on two dates. I made out with him on the second date and we decided to see where things would go. I have an issue with making out that I’ve struggled with for years, where I feel awful after I do it because I generally like to get physically intimate with someone only after I emotionally connect with them or am in a committed relationship with them. However, I have still ended up doing casual for quite a number of times against my better judgement. So after I started talking to him, I made out with another friend of mine whom I’ve been attracted to physically for a year now. It’s just physical attraction, but I felt awful afterwards as if I was cheating on this guy and I told him about it. He was understanding but also asked me what exactly we did (details), was it just kissing or more etc and I felt uncomfortable about it, and he has brought that up again and again. I told him we just kissed because I do

Ummm, I’ll do my very best to keep it as short as possible but I apologize in advance if it’s long. (Sorry for mobile) I (F27) left an abusive relationship almost two years ago, and just recently my therapist said she thought it would be good for me to start dating again. I really struggle to identify if something is a red flag or I’m overthinking because of trauma. I started talking to this guy 30M we’ll call John. John and I really hit it off. Had a ton in common, held good conversations, really sweet. We moved from Tinder to messaging on Snapchat and it was going smoothly. I asked him after a few days if he wanted to plan to meet up and he said he wasn’t ready yet, he was kinda nervous and self conscious and wanted to wait a little longer. I completely understood. I’m usually really shy too. I reassured him and we kept just messaging and talking on the phone. He started to get clingy and really sappy and at first it was kind of nice. It was sweet. But it’s gotten to a point it’s

I'm 29f. I met this girl 20 (Girl A) we agreed that things would be causal/ fwb. We hook up every now and then. But I've noticed she's gotten more attached messages me she misses me and stuff. I do like her and she's super pretty. She's chill with polyamory which is my preference another plus. I started talking to another girl 24 (Girl B) we've gotten on a couple dates and I like her like a lot a lot. But she wants monogamy I'm not against it i like her enough to do that. I would feel guilty if I had sex with girl A I'm thinking of telling her we can't have sex anymore. I don't know if that would be premature though girl B and I aren't anything official. I like girl A and have a good time with her. Potentially ruining something with her for another that isn't official seems weird to me idk. Either way i feel like girl A is getting too attached IDK what to do Submitted November 20, 2023 at 12:17AM I'm 29f. I met this girl 20 (Gi

Is she considered a cougar?? Sugar momma? Submitted November 19, 2023 at 12:17AM Is she considered a cougar?? Sugar momma?

i have never been in a serious relationship, i go on dates but usually never progress past a couple dates. if i let myself catch feelings, there is usually a honeymoon phase where i think everything is perfect, i tell everyone i know about it, i feel like i've met the one. then eventually i start to pick everything apart and i get extremely paranoid about the guys i am seeing. i wonder if they are seeing other women, using me for only my body and many other issues. if i voice these concerns the guys will always console me and try to kill my paranoia but no amount of consoling will ever help. it just builds and builds until eventually i ruin it. every. single. time. i'm starting to think my lack of trust in other people and general paranoia means i will never get any further than two months with someone and i am really hoping that is not the case. anyone else been through something similar and any tips on how to learn to trust the people you're with? Submitted Novem

I really want to meet girls that play PC games and express unique interests, alt styles, etc. I find most people on dating apps are pretty similar. How can I meet more? I don't drink so bars aren't viable. I am in college and have seen a few girls I'm interested in but not talked to much, if at all. Submitted November 18, 2023 at 12:15AM I really want to meet girls that play PC games and express unique interests, alt styles, etc. I find most people on dating apps are pretty similar. How can I meet more? I don't drink so bars aren't viable. I am in college and have seen a few girls I'm interested in but not talked to much, if at all.

So this girl and I was good friends and then she got a bf and randomly removed me on insta and removed me from following her and removed me on Snapchat She still talks to me when we see each other in person and acts like she never removed me. Can anyone explain a reason. Submitted November 17, 2023 at 12:07AM So this girl and I was good friends and then she got a bf and randomly removed me on insta and removed me from following her and removed me on Snapchat She still talks to me when we see each other in person and acts like she never removed me. Can anyone explain a reason.

The Word of God tells us what someone who truly loves you will do, and what they will be like. What they will do: I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me. (Matthew 25:35-36) What they will be like: Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) Submitted November 17, 2023 at 12:15AM The Word of God tells us what someone who truly loves you will do, and what they will be like.What they will do:I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and

Any person who says hetero phobic, makes me cringe deeply. Your friend ever watch her parents make out? Well, if she can imagine that and get grossed out that’s what that feels to you. November 15, 2023 at 11:09PM

How do you (guys) show you like a girl?? Or find her attractive at least? Submitted November 15, 2023 at 12:12AM How do you (guys) show you like a girl?? Or find her attractive at least?

I've (M39) been in the situation a few times where I meet someone, usually online, and they're nice, I like them, but we're not really on the same page with some things, namely goals and finances. I'm not rich and money isn't everything, but it is important. I've worked hard to get to this point and looking for the same, and someone around my age should kinda have things together by now. (I'd like to buy a house and maybe have kids eventually, and I'd never make it happen on my own.) I feel a little guilty turning them down, but I guess maybe we're not compatible? Submitted November 15, 2023 at 12:14AM I've (M39) been in the situation a few times where I meet someone, usually online, and they're nice, I like them, but we're not really on the same page with some things, namely goals and finances. I'm not rich and money isn't everything, but it is important. I've worked hard to get to this point and looking for the same,

So Im talking to this girl for a moment and I really like her. we constantly run into issues her schedule. Shes either working 60hrs a week overtime, taking care of her kids and or family. When shes not doing that she is slseping or trying to sleep through her insomnia. She says she dosent date cause shes busy which i completely understand. Now the main point. She dosent talk on the phone alot and she hates texting. Whenever we Text I feel im caring the conversation or choosing diffrent subject and it gets shot down left and right. Or she replies very dry. Again she dosent like texting but i barely have any other way of communicating with her. When we speak on the phone we communicate very well and its exciting. But that rarely happens Im not sure what to do to effectively talk with her. I honestly dont like texting also cause of miscomunication that tends to happen through text but its the only thing she seems to be activly willing to do 😟😟 Submitted November 14, 2023 at 12:1

So as I was saying, I (F19) am EXTREMELY attracted to this boy (M21) his personality & looks, he has a lovely family connection etc. we don’t talk that much purely because I don’t want him to see me face to face yet, my selfies online look quite different to me (I don’t photoshop I just know my angles) I’m currently losing weight and have about another 4.7stone to lose, from losing a drastic amount of weight already (5.10stone) my breasts, arms& stomach is quite saggy, and I hate it myself, so I’m planning a mummy makeover (breasts, tummy tuck& arm lift) ideally I’d like to meet him once all my surgeries are done and he can see the real me, because I think getting these will make me much more confident & comfortable with myself, I won’t be as shy& awkward. Anyway, but because we don’t talk much at all, I’m scared he will get a girlfriend and if he does fair dos, I just know my mentality & humour is so similar to his and we would get on like a house on fire. I f

The last time I saw this man, he made me breakfast in bed. We hadn’t slept together but we just enjoyed our time together and I slept over for the second weekend in a row. He met my friends the weekend before. He said he liked me this past weekend and then out of no where I don’t hear from him in 6 days. He has been consistent for the past 2 months and then just nothing. No reply to three messages the last 6 days. He’s 31 and I’m 28. I’m just so confused because from his actions it felt right and going well. What the fuck happened? We had so many similarities and interest. Submitted November 12, 2023 at 12:10AM The last time I saw this man, he made me breakfast in bed. We hadn’t slept together but we just enjoyed our time together and I slept over for the second weekend in a row. He met my friends the weekend before. He said he liked me this past weekend and then out of no where I don’t hear from him in 6 days. He has been consistent for the past 2 months and then just nothing.

Everything was going great with this one women until she asked if I was vaccinated. She replied I'm not, and unmatched me. We were just about to make plans. This seems so ridiculous to me, is this the new normal? Submitted November 11, 2023 at 12:17AM Everything was going great with this one women until she asked if I was vaccinated. She replied I'm not, and unmatched me. We were just about to make plans.This seems so ridiculous to me, is this the new normal?

I'm in a QPR, and so it often comes up as context for that November 09, 2023 at 11:21PM

ahh thats really cool! im autistic too so i get you there, im applying for jobs at the moment and just hoping the ones that seem nicest accept me omg yeah im glad you get it! my asexuality is so influenced by my being trans, so its not all not experiencing attraction as much as it is being sex-repulsed a lot of the time, so i know im a very atypical example of asexuality, and yet if i explained to someone what asexuality meant they would definitely get the wrong impression and assume my sexuality to be something its not, which is definitely a big reason i dont feel the need to come out tbh, especially to allocishets November 09, 2023 at 11:20PM

My husband and 2 friends. My best friend is aromantic but not Asexual so we compare talk about our problems a lot. As I am biromantic but universally asexual. My other friend is hypersexual buy struggles with romance. She has problems having deeper relationships beyond sex. November 09, 2023 at 11:19PM

Same thing as "You don't know if you're gay if you never dated a woman". Looks like you're getting a new therapist! November 09, 2023 at 11:16PM

I Mean... Yeah. But y'all do get how much that must suck from the other side of things. Right? "Oh, no. See, I wanted to date you, but the idea of physical intimacy with you is fucking repulsive . So I faked interest in the one to get at the other." Like, even taking the most charitable possible view, that's manipulative. November 08, 2023 at 11:22PM

if it happens too early will that reduce the chance of a relationship as a result? Submitted November 08, 2023 at 12:12AM if it happens too early will that reduce the chance of a relationship as a result?

Is it wrong to talk to other guys when I am no longer with the one I love? I have no feelings for them, they’re all just nice people. I feel guilty but I’m trying to distract myself. No matter how many guys I talk to… it doesn’t work. It helps keep my mind off him for a bit but my ex is the first person and last person I think about. I’m heart broken and don’t know what to do. Submitted November 08, 2023 at 12:14AM Is it wrong to talk to other guys when I am no longer with the one I love? I have no feelings for them, they’re all just nice people. I feel guilty but I’m trying to distract myself. No matter how many guys I talk to… it doesn’t work. It helps keep my mind off him for a bit but my ex is the first person and last person I think about. I’m heart broken and don’t know what to do.

I’ve been dating this guy, who is a year and a half younger than me, for almost 6 months but recently made it oficial. I know & he knows that he is carrying baggage from previous relationships & is paranoid about me cheating on him because he’s done it in the past to ex gfs and they have done it to him too. I’ve never ever cheated on anyone or have a bad track records but because of the amount of looks and attention I get from males has him insecure and afraid that I’m going to leave him for someone “better”. The reason why I’m even writing this is because he recently was on Snapchat, this morning around 5am and said he got my contact as an option to add, mind you that I’ve deleted the app & have not been active on Snapchat for months, but later that morning when he looked me up again he couldn’t find me so he believes I blocked him. I explained to him that I don’t use that app and haven’t in months & recently downloaded instagram again and Snapchat was an option as w

I (27 F) stopped with the dating apps a while ago because I wanted to shift my focus to work, health, and social life. When expanding my social life, I keep running into people who are older and in relationships. I’ve had one guy in his 50s, a 40 year old guy in a relationship, and a married guy in his 20s all confess they’ve had a crush on me at some point or another. I just don’t understand why single men in my age group aren’t stepping up to the plate instead? Is it because I have a low self-esteem and older/taken men see it as an opportunity? I’m so confused and stressed. Submitted November 08, 2023 at 12:16AM I (27 F) stopped with the dating apps a while ago because I wanted to shift my focus to work, health, and social life.When expanding my social life, I keep running into people who are older and in relationships.I’ve had one guy in his 50s, a 40 year old guy in a relationship, and a married guy in his 20s all confess they’ve had a crush on me at some point or anothe

I've definitely considered it. Its still part of that OCD though where I'm fearful I might do something harmful. My first therapy session is in 82 days. I plan to stay as clean as I can from my bad habit and go into it with as clear a mind as possible. November 06, 2023 at 11:04PM

If the thought of you yourself being involved in the sexual act is what turns you off, that sounds more like aegosexual (in my point of view at least). Aegosexual's main characteristic is that there's a disconnect between one's self and what is arousing to them; sexual content may turn them on, but the idea of actually being a participant in it isn't to their liking. There's definitely a case to be made for both labels, but remember that labels are just that: labels. Labels for helping folks figure themselves out. If you prefer going by either of those labels, great! Wanna alternate between them? Also great! Whatever you decide, it'll be great. November 06, 2023 at 11:03PM

Are you me? 😉 I'm 42 f and I know I'm most likely the "little" part of little to no attraction in the definition of asexuality/aromanticism.Technically, I'm a straight GREY aroace. BUT neither sex nor romance plays any part in my life, I'm indifferent to both. My ideal relationship is (queer)platonic with no sex.The attractions that I experience strongly are emotional/alterous attraction and aesthetic attraction and they overshadow any weak romantic/sexual attraction I might still possess. Like you, I always feel a bit lost in grey spaces. I have to admit, I more or less dropped the grey part and just call myself aroace. If someone in aroace spaces asked me directly about labels I would use grey to clarify but outside of these spaces I don't really see any need... November 06, 2023 at 10:59PM

Nidoqueen? the Pokedex talks often about them tending to their offspring so they are capable to reproduce but no matter who you leave in the daycare with Nidoqueen nothing will happen. November 06, 2023 at 10:58PM

i identify as a lesbian romantically, but i’m very scared to get with a woman and be sexual with anyone. when it comes to libido, i have a libido that needs satisfied. i don’t have any sexual attraction to men and very little to women, but he looks and acts like a feminine male which means i gave it a chance. so i’m wondering and came to this reddit to get clarity on it. i do think he could be lying because i know what i feel, and i haven’t cheated on him because i have no sexual desire because i get sex-repulsed and almost force myself to have sex everytime i have sex with anyone. November 05, 2023 at 11:06PM

If you're 14 and nothing you're looking at is literally illegal (and I mean actual illegal images of real people, not like dark written works) I wouldn't worry too much about being 'addicted' to explicit content. It's normal to be horny at that age, it's the hormones. So long as you bear in mind that explicit content is fictional and relationships with other people are real and you shouldn't treat real relationships like the plot of explicit content it's fine to indulge. Explicit content and standard romantic content is a safe way of exploring your boundaries and what feels right to you, and then when you're more confident you can try and explore that with real people. You don't need to tie yourself down to one label for your entire life. Sexuality is a social construct, meaning it only exists in the confines of the society in which we live. That means there isn't one good and true label that fits all of a certain kind of person all t

Sounds like the “therapist” thinks the only relationships that exist are sexual ones and that asexual people don’t have relationships and/or don’t have sex. This is BS. November 04, 2023 at 11:10PM

They focus on that one but the wiki here does appear briefly in the search results on screen. November 03, 2023 at 11:28PM

I don't think this makes sense to ask. There are soooooooo many factors that go into what makes someone feel like having sex, I don't think you can just put a number how much of it you'd be "ok" with. That sounds like "how much sex would you tolerate?" and that's honestly a gross question to think about. November 02, 2023 at 11:47PM

I (23f) met a guy (23m) on a dating app about a month ago. I really enjoyed talking to him and we talked almost everyday. We hit it off pretty fast and made plans to go on a date- well, the day we were supposed to go out I got in a huge fight with my best friend and was an emotional mess. I couldn’t stop crying and ended up staying late at work as well. I cancelled and told him I wasn’t in a good spot to date. He never responded, but 2.5 weeks later he texted me to see how I was doing. I was honest and told him I regretted canceling our date and that I was just in a bad spot that day, but that I really did want to go out. He was really sweet about the whole thing and told me that he understood and he was glad I was feeling better I asked if he was still interested and we went on our first date 3 days later. We hung out again last night, and before I left I asked if he wanted to go out this weekend and he said yes. So far- I feel like things are going well. He’s assured me that I don

Do you guys have any advice on this situation? I met a girl and we’ve gone on 3 dates so far, that I though went well. On our last date she invited me into her apartment and we talked for a while and ended the night with a kiss (it was late and I had work super early the next day). While on our last date she mentioned wanting to go to a local place to see it. I asked if she would want to go the next time we’re off at the same time and she said she’d let me know. After all of this, her texts have been getting shorter and her replies more sporadic. Am I over thinking this situation or should I just go with the flow. Submitted November 02, 2023 at 12:12AM Do you guys have any advice on this situation?I met a girl and we’ve gone on 3 dates so far, that I though went well. On our last date she invited me into her apartment and we talked for a while and ended the night with a kiss (it was late and I had work super early the next day). While on our last date she mentioned wanting to

I (24F) have been talking to this guy for 1 month, we are from the same city but have only talking through messages. Things were wonderful and he seemed interested, recently me and him started to run out of thinks to ask eatch other and the conversation died... Now I am questioning myself, should I ask if he is interested to go out with me (something casual) or should I just let it go. Thanks for all the input 😁 Ps. I have never dated anyone and have never been on a date before Submitted November 02, 2023 at 12:13AM I (24F) have been talking to this guy for 1 month, we are from the same city but have only talking through messages.Things were wonderful and he seemed interested, recently me and him started to run out of thinks to ask eatch other and the conversation died...Now I am questioning myself, should I ask if he is interested to go out with me (something casual) or should I just let it go.Thanks for all the input 😁Ps. I have never dated anyone and have never been on a d

i’ve been talking to a guy for some time now, been on a few dates. today we hung out, he brought me lunch without me asking and after eating he asked if i wanted to go for a drive. i said sure so we drove around in his car then he pulled over and said i could drive it. his car is very nice and very expensive so i was extremely nervous but he said he trusts me and kept insisting so i did it. does this mean anything that he potentially has feelings for me? i told a few of my friends and they said that he does but i’m wanting to know from a guy’s perspective. i’m a very bad overthinker and i keep thinking he only did it to be nice to me even though i’ve never asked to drive it or anything Submitted November 02, 2023 at 12:14AM i’ve been talking to a guy for some time now, been on a few dates. today we hung out, he brought me lunch without me asking and after eating he asked if i wanted to go for a drive. i said sure so we drove around in his car then he pulled over and said i cou