Should I (26F) get out of this situation with 30M or am I overthinking it?

Throwaway account. I started talking to this guy in September, went out with him on two dates. I made out with him on the second date and we decided to see where things would go. I have an issue with making out that I’ve struggled with for years, where I feel awful after I do it because I generally like to get physically intimate with someone only after I emotionally connect with them or am in a committed relationship with them. However, I have still ended up doing casual for quite a number of times against my better judgement. So after I started talking to him, I made out with another friend of mine whom I’ve been attracted to physically for a year now. It’s just physical attraction, but I felt awful afterwards as if I was cheating on this guy and I told him about it. He was understanding but also asked me what exactly we did (details), was it just kissing or more etc and I felt uncomfortable about it, and he has brought that up again and again. I told him we just kissed because I don’t feel comfortable sharing the rest with him, however because he keeps bringing it up once in a while, I feel guilty and horrible that I am lying to him. I don’t feel as excited about what we share right now but I also feel like I should give it time. He was formally going to ask me to be his girlfriend sometime soon and I felt even more awful for not feeling as sure about it as he has. He has been sweet otherwise, sent me flowers and stuff but on calls he keeps redirecting the conversation to sexual talks somehow. Today on call I told him I injured myself on my thigh and he told me he wanted to see my wound cause he was concerned but I was really uncomfortable about it and he still insisted that he see it which I did not like, but I gave in. On paper he ticked off my boxes like how he is smart, ambitious, etc so I don’t know whether I am overthinking all of this and maybe he cares for me a lot too. Am I stupid and will I regret throwing this away? Am I overthinking?



Submitted November 20, 2023 at 12:10AM

Throwaway account. I started talking to this guy in September, went out with him on two dates. I made out with him on the second date and we decided to see where things would go. I have an issue with making out that I’ve struggled with for years, where I feel awful after I do it because I generally like to get physically intimate with someone only after I emotionally connect with them or am in a committed relationship with them. However, I have still ended up doing casual for quite a number of times against my better judgement. So after I started talking to him, I made out with another friend of mine whom I’ve been attracted to physically for a year now. It’s just physical attraction, but I felt awful afterwards as if I was cheating on this guy and I told him about it. He was understanding but also asked me what exactly we did (details), was it just kissing or more etc and I felt uncomfortable about it, and he has brought that up again and again. I told him we just kissed because I don’t feel comfortable sharing the rest with him, however because he keeps bringing it up once in a while, I feel guilty and horrible that I am lying to him. I don’t feel as excited about what we share right now but I also feel like I should give it time. He was formally going to ask me to be his girlfriend sometime soon and I felt even more awful for not feeling as sure about it as he has. He has been sweet otherwise, sent me flowers and stuff but on calls he keeps redirecting the conversation to sexual talks somehow. Today on call I told him I injured myself on my thigh and he told me he wanted to see my wound cause he was concerned but I was really uncomfortable about it and he still insisted that he see it which I did not like, but I gave in. On paper he ticked off my boxes like how he is smart, ambitious, etc so I don’t know whether I am overthinking all of this and maybe he cares for me a lot too. Am I stupid and will I regret throwing this away? Am I overthinking?
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